A Driving Instructor’s Rule That Works Outside the Car

I suspect most of us drive through life the same way beginners drive through narrow streets: staring at the obstacle instead of noticing the space beside it.

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I started taking driving lessons recently, and my instructor noticed something about me within the first few sessions.

Whenever something complicated appears on the road, my attention locks onto the problem, and she gives the same instruction:

“Look for the gap.”

She usually says it when I am doing something that (to me) feels logical at the time: studying the obstacle very carefully.

If a truck approaches from the opposite direction, I watch it closely. If the road narrows because of parked cars, I begin calculating distances and wondering whether we will fit.

To me, this feels responsible. I am analyzing the situation. According to my instructor, it is exactly the wrong instinct.

“You’re staring at the problem,” she says. “Look for the gap.”

The first time she explained what she meant, we were driving through a small street with cars parked on both sides. Another vehicle appeared in the distance and started coming toward us.

I slowed down and focused entirely on the other driver, trying to judge how much space we had. My instructor pointed ahead.

“There.”

Between two parked cars, there was a space wide enough for me to pull in and let the other vehicle pass. It had been visible the entire time. I simply hadn’t noticed it because my attention was glued to the approaching car!

Once I saw the opening, the situation was easy. I steered slightly to the side, waited a few seconds, and the other driver continued down the street.

Since then, I’ve realized she gives variations of the same advice all the time.

“Look where you want the car to go.”

“Don’t stare at the curb.”

“Drive with your eyes.”

Her point is that beginners tend to overthink. We try to control the car by calculating every movement: the steering wheel, the distance from the curb, the angle of the road...

Experienced drivers do something simpler. They look ahead and let their hands adjust naturally. The car tends to follow your gaze.

If you fix your eyes on the curb because you are afraid of hitting it, you slowly drift toward it. If you focus on the center of the lane, the car stays there with surprisingly little effort.

The strange thing is that this habit of staring at the obstacle feels very familiar.

Most people do it in daily life as well. When something becomes difficult, it is easy to spend a lot of time studying the problem itself. You replay it, analyze it, and explain to yourself exactly why the situation is complicated.

But none of that necessarily moves things forward.

Driving does not give you much time for that kind of thinking. When something appears on the road, you immediately start looking for the space that allows you to continue.

Sometimes the gap is small. It might be a driveway, a wider section of the street, or simply a moment when traffic slows down.

But the reflex is always the same. Notice the obstacle, then search for the opening.

Driving is forcing me to develop this reflex because hesitation has consequences. If I freeze every time the road becomes slightly complicated, traffic quickly builds up behind me.

My instructor is very direct about this. “See the situation, decide, and go.”

In other words: notice what is happening, find the space that allows movement, and steer the car toward it.

Lately, I've started applying the same rule outside the car. When I catch myself circling around a problem, I try to ask a different question.

Where is the gap?

Not the perfect solution, but just the opening that allows the next step. More often than not, it is already there. The only thing required is to stop staring at the obstacle long enough to notice it.

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