7 Ways I Choose to Remain Happy No Matter What

The traffic is so bad that you decide to take a shorter route only to realize later that it was closed for construction.

You switch to a shorter queue, but the person ahead of you decides to take the longest time at the till.

You are late at work for the first time, and your manager decides to teach you a lesson by halving your pay.

There are plenty of unforeseen situations in our life that tests our temperament. But we fail to remain cheerful in most of these situations.

We surrender our cheerful mood to them for nothing. And getting upset gives us a headache. If this becomes a chronic and regular practice, our happiness becomes short-lived, creating emotional chaos. We become irritated and lose our temper without any plausible reasons.

My Story

Once I was driving on the narrowest lanes of Montreal. The signal turned green, but it took me four-five seconds to get going. Suddenly, I heard the car behind me, honking and shouting a cuss word in French. I was still learning French so that I couldn’t understand his expression. But, my mood dipped, and I kept thinking about it the whole day.

Later that day, when I googled that abusive word, I realized that he called me an imbecile.

That night while sitting in meditation, I retrospect the whole incident — how a five-second delay spoilt my cheerful mood. I lost an entire day thinking about a trivial thing. I then promised myself that no triviality would steal my cheerfulness. And I started working on elevating my emotional strength.

I used spirituality, stoicism, and self-improvement literature to empower myself. As a result, six years have passed since that incident, and never a single day has passed that I allowed anyone to ruin my joy.

Here’s how I did it and I am sure it will help you too.

1. Never Create Unreal Expectations

“I’m not in this world to live up to your expectations, and you’re not in this world to live up to mine.” — Bruce Lee

Every human being has limitations. My strength may be a weakness for the other. Expecting everyone to be like me is foolish. Let everyone be the way they are and accept them.

It's unreal to expect love, respect, and honesty from everyone because not everyone believes in those virtues. I can’t use someone else’s respect or appreciation to compensate for my cheerful mood.

I always remind myself that life situations are like chess — if your move doesn’t go your way, move on.

2. Become a Detached Observer

Being spiritual by nature, I believe that we are all part of a big play in this world drama.

This belief empowers me to have a broad view of what’s going on in my life. Everyone has a role to play, and that I have to concentrate on my own to perform my best.

Besides, our past and present circumstances influence our thinking and actions. If a person is having a bad day at work or probably a brawl with someone, he/she is likely to spit out anger and frustration at anyone at any time.

Being a detached observer means separating the person from the deed.

No person is bad or evil; it's just their circumstances in life or their predispositions that likewise force their actions.

“If all we had were roses, would the thorns then be beautiful?”― Kamand Kojouri

So, I give them the benefit of the doubt each time and protect my emotional drainage. Everyone wants to love and be loved by someone. That's life. Let the show continue the way it is.

3. Understand That Happiness Is Energy

Have you ever felt that staying in the company of a small child or a saint even for a while elevates your mood?

It’s because the child or saint is innocent, pure, and cheerful. They are radiating the same energy outside unconsciously, making us feel happy and light.

“Some people radiate happiness and make everyone happy around them.” — Debasish Mridha

We can also do the same by choosing to be satisfied, no matter what.

The same logic works for negativity too. If a person has too many toxic thoughts in his mind, he will contaminate the atmosphere around him (unaware). Most of us know it by the term “vibes.”

Scientifically, it’s called the “energy field” or “aura.”

We often say that “I am not getting a good vibe from that person,” but don’t know the reason behind it. It's because that person is not thinking positively; that’s what is radiating from him.

Energy flows from a higher source to a lower one. (Whether it’s positive or negative)

We all know this law of physics. In life, it works too.

If I am happy and cheerful, the vibrations will automatically spread from me. It’s like wearing perfume. If I put on Versace or Gucci’s expensive scent, I will feel proud about it, and the fragrance will do the rest.

Cheerfulness mood is likewise. If I activate my happiness mode ON, it will radiate in the surroundings on its own no matter what.

“The energy you give off is the energy you receive. I really think that, so I’m always myself — jumping, dancing, singing around, trying to cheer everybody up.”— Cara Delevingne

If we are determined to radiate happiness, nothing can pull us down because we become a higher source of energy..”

4. Use The Awareness: “I am the other half of myself.”

The search for fulfillment ends when I realize that I can never find myself in material objects and possessions. I can find myself within myself. Everything lies inside me.

A famous quote by William Rotsler come to my mind:

“You cannot hold back a good laugh any more than you can the tide. Both are forces of nature.”

Yin and Yang's famous Chinese philosophy also states that nature dualities like light and dark, happy and sad, negative and positive, etc. — all the forces reside within.

It means that no matter how much great motivational speech I hear or how much spiritual knowledge I possess, it can’t transform my feelings. External stimuli can influence me but what I feel depends on me. Whatever we choose to focus on comes to the surface of our minds and make us feel the same.

There’s a proverb that says:

“In seeking happiness for others, you will find it in yourself.” — Unknown

So, let’s always choose happiness so that opposite of positivity never surfaces in our minds. The endless search for happiness starts by hearing that inner voice that is screaming.

5. Live In The Present

“If you feel anxiety or depression, you are not in the present. You are either anxiously projecting the future or depressed and stuck in the past. The only thing you have any control over is the present moment.” ― Tobe Hanson

If I am always looking in the past to extract happiness or cheerfulness, present moments will slip away.

There is a famous dialogue from a Bollywood Movie — “Yeh Jawaani Hai Deewani”:

“No matter how hard we try to extract happiness from here and there, something or the other is likely to slip away; so why not enjoy the view of life from where we are.”

So, let me appreciate the trees, the sky, and the sun if I go for a walk.

If I am with people, let me appreciate the way they are.

Let me enjoy the food I eat, the music I listen to, or the breeze I feel.

If I can master this art, I will find many reasons to be happy and cheerful in the tiniest things. Enjoying the moments in the present time elevates our mood.

When we develop this mindset of enjoying the present, our focus shifts from judging and criticizing to loving and appreciating; thus, happiness and cheerfulness become organic.

6. Take Charge Of Your Emotions

This realization is profound and the most powerful one.

Over the years, I have rooted a deep belief system in my mind that whatever happens in my life is in my charge. I have realized that I can’t blame anyone for my life situations.

I can’t say that I am like this because someone hurt me or someone ill-treated me.

Life is full of situations and tests. Unless I take charge of my emotional state, I will always succumb to external stimuli and be at their mercy.

I have also used Karma Philosophy to make myself emotionally stable. According to Karmic laws:

Whatever comes to me is the result of my past karma (deed), and the way I treat it becomes the cause for the next. (destiny). Though the past was terrible, my present karma can overwrite the previous ones to create a beautiful future—i.e., fate.

Whenever someone ill-treats me, I understand that I must have hurt them in the past, due to which they are behaving this way. So I keep my calm and act appropriately so that next time I meet that person in the future (births), there will be a beautiful relationship between us.

7. Meditate

Unhappiness is mostly because of the lack of spiritual power.

Meditation is like earning for the soul. If I spend more money, I need to make more, or else I go bankrupt. Likewise, I need to replenish my soul with spiritual power to become spiritually wealthy.

Meditation helps the mind to calm down and introspect. In meditation, I can let go of all the pains and worries by forgiving everyone. Meditation de-clutters the negativity from my mind. As a result, I feel charged with positive thoughts and the power to overlook anything that’s causing me pain.

Here’s how I meditate. It is called the “Rajyoga Meditation” (meditation to control and quiet the senses).

a. Relaxation

Relaxation is about letting go of all the tensions and worries and bringing the mind into a peaceful state. One can relax in either a sitting or lying position as per one’s convenience.

b. Concentration

Try to focus the mind on one thought. This can be done by physically focussing on a tiny point of light. And then imagine oneself to be that light.

c. Contemplation

It is like reflecting deeply on one’s true self. Reflecting on the inner world and thinking about actual values (that one possesses)like love, compassion, joy, happiness, bliss, and power charges the individual with positivity.

d. Realization

Having a profound realization about self and the meaning of life can be fruitful in dealing with anxiety. Accepting the fact that happiness is a birthright for all can drive away all kinds of mental illness from its very core.

e. Meditation

This step involves remembering the eternal Godfather Almighty and connecting with him through our intellects. The eternal truth that we are souls, and our father is a supreme soul can help us look beyond this material world and enter into a realm of peace and poise.

I have been following this Rajyoga Meditation for the past ten years, and I have been able to quiet my mind and body whenever being hit by unwanted emotions.

Last Thoughts

If you are determined to remain cheerful, no force in this world can stop you from doing so. Paint your life with the color of cheerfulness.

“And so of cheerfulness, or a good temper — the more it is spent, the more of it remains.” — Ralph Waldo Emerson

So, create it, use it, feel it, and spread it. By following these practices, I chose to remain cheerful, no matter what.

I made my cheerfulness so expensive that no one can dare to disturb it.

Situations will come and go; some like a breeze, some like storms. But my attitude towards it defines the shape of my life.