5 Things to Tell Yourself When Lacking Motivation

Disclaimer

This will be unlike most any motivational advice that you have ever heard or read. However, I feel strongly that it is advice that people should hear more often.

Motivation and it’s association with guilt has been a problem that society has faced for a long time. If our current coping mechanisms and advice that we are utilizing to make sure we are attaining a balanced life aren’t helping to the extent that we desire, perhaps it is time that we consider some other outlooks. So, buckle up. Here we go…

The Situation

You lack motivation. You've tried every single tip that you've ever seen suggested, and the ones that typically help you, yet…nothing.

I feel like most of us have been here. This is where we oftentimes can start to veer off in the wrong direction, as we can easily be our very worst critics.

So instead of beating yourself up, here are five things to tell yourself when you're feeling unmotivated.

And most importantly, if you only take away one thing from this…

So just remember, it is okay. Stop beating yourself up so much.

5 THINGS TO TELL YOURSELF WHEN YOU’RE FEELING UNMOTIVATED

1. No one is ‘wired’ to be motivated 24/7.

Life is about balance. You do need to focus and be motivated in order to live the life you are meant to live. However, an obsession with motivation and lack of balance in other areas of your life can actually be quite detrimental.

Here is something to ask yourself, and to thoroughly put some thought into:

•If you're always on the go, how will you ever be able to stop and enjoy the life that you have created?

Balance is necessary for almost all things related to our daily lives, our wellbeing, and our physical, emotional, and mental health. A balanced life is a fulfilled life. It is the only way that you will be able to enjoy all of the aspects of it you are meant to enjoy.

So just remember, it is okay. Stop beating yourself up so much.

2. Being ‘productive’ with our time is not as narrowly defined as we think.

Again, balance is necessary, so don't be so quick to beat yourself up.

Did you sleep later than you wanted?

Perhaps you needed the sleep. Physical exhaustion can lead to mental exhaustion, making it extremely difficult to be motivated. Sometimes we simply need to recharge.

Did you lounge around all day on a day that you had planned to get a lot done?

Again, maybe you needed to recharge. Once you start listening to your body more, it will listen to you more. It knows you want to be motivated and feel fulfilled. So does it. Once you treat it with the same care you wish it to extend to you, you will start to see that motivation coming back.

Did you go out with your friends instead of staying home and getting things accomplished?

By nature, humans are social creatures. Even if we are extremely introverted (my hand frantically waving), we are in need of some level of social interaction to survive and to thrive. The level that one may require varies by person, but it remains an undeniable truth.

So before you beat yourself up for going out on occasion instead of ‘being productive,’ remember that a recharged mind and soul leads to recharged motivation.

Also remember that motivation comes in many forms. One of these forms is through social interaction. Being around people can generally lift your mood, give you someone to bounce ideas off of, give you someone to confide in so that you can focus more of your mental energy on your passions, make you feel more appreciated…this list goes on. I could write an entire article on the benefits of this. I could also write an entire article on how hard it is to do as an introvert. (Drop me a comment if you’d like for me to do either or both of those).

My point is, it may be hard, but it’s necessary. Coming from someone with extreme social anxiety, although I still am working on the proper balance of this, I am a happier person every time I do keep this balance.

So just remember, it is okay. Stop beating yourself up so much.

3. Many of the timelines that we place upon ourselves are quite unnecessary.

Most timelines for life are merely social constructs. They have been so deeply embedded in us, we believe them to be truths. By giving them this validity, we therefore allow them to influence our perceived validity of ourselves.

A great friend once told me that the timing of what you learn is just as important as the message or lesson itself. That is why patience is so crucial. Maybe it’s simply time to be introduced to a concept, not submerged in it. Go with the flow of things, and you’ll find that your life will also flow much more easily. This isn’t to say it will be easy, but it will be much easier than it would have been.

Here's another question for you to thoroughly ponder upon:

If we are all unique individuals with different lives to live, why do we buy into timelines that are so rigidly put into place?

Applying a general rule to such a diverse set of people and circumstances simply doesn’t make sense. We are all on a different path, walking it at different paces.

Is there an actual right time for something or is there a right time for us?

What is the purpose of having your own life to live if you choose to live it like someone else’s?

So just remember, it is okay. Stop beating yourself up so much.

4. It is possible that we are being called in another direction.

I want to emphasize that just because we are going through a period of lack of motivation does not necessarily mean that we should just give up. We all experience ups and downs, and must allow time for life to show us what we are meant to encounter. However, as we progress in our journey of life, it begins to slowly change. We will begin to slowly change. With this, some of our previous beliefs, priorities, dreams, etc will begin to change. That is okay, as long as you go with the flow of your life, and what you want, versus that of someone else.

Connecting with your soul is such a beautiful (though not always pretty), life changing experience. We are never promised a direct path; that's part of the beauty of life. So when facing this, ask yourself these questions:

•Why did I start?

•Does that line up with my current beliefs? Or, am I holding onto beliefs I no longer resonate with?

•Am I being pulled in a different direction? Why? At my core, do I feel as if I am being pulled in another direction for the right reason?

Perhaps we should learn to listen to our gut more. I’ve rarely heard of examples when someone did this, even though they questioned if they were doing the right thing by doing so, and it actually going poorly. Even in the situations where it did, it oftentimes is followed with a lesson that will change your life as you know it. That can be a beautiful thing, if you allow it to be.

Allow it to be.

So just remember, it is okay. Stop beating yourself up so much.

5. Don’t fall victim to the popular misinterpretation of the, ‘if you want it bad enough’ mentality.

We have all likely heard, especially anyone who listens to motivational pieces, some common phrases that are constantly reiterated and drilled into our heads.

“If you want it bad enough, you will make it happen.”

“If you want it bad enough, you will find the motivation.”

“If it’s your true passion, you will MAKE time for it.”

The list goes on. And on. And on…

Although there is truth in all of these statements, the problem is that people can mistakenly only interpret these in their most literal sense. This can also lead them to unknowingly eliminate other possible factors in their individual circumstances that shouldn’t be discounted, making them feel even more discouraged.

Here's what we have to remember though:

Life happens.

We get physically and mentally drained. We need to recharge.

Mental illnesses do exist. And even though they may not write our story, they can greatly influence how we write our story. This can be especially true when we are at our most vulnerable points.

THE TRUTH

The truth of the matter is if you want it bad enough, and it is meant to be part of your journey, it will happen when the timing is right.

It will happen as you have a better understanding of the depth of your soul, and your true passions.

It will happen when you are recharged again.

Patience is key. It is crucial.

A quote that I once wrote, goes as follows:

“Listen to your body. After all, it does have a lot of inside knowledge.” -Annie Edwards

So ask yourself this:

“What is my body telling me? What is my heart and soul telling me?”

And then follow that answer. Start that journey.

It will lead you to where you need to go at the right time.

Also, here is your reminder one last time; repetition can be quite a useful tool:

So just remember, it is okay. Stop beating yourself up so much.