2020

It was a partially cloudy day March 3, 2020 to be exact, I’d walked into work literally thousands of times before but this day was different. This day was special, it was the day I decided to turn my 2 weeks notice in. It was something I’d considered for some time and it seemed like all the stars just effortlessly aligned. I had enough in my savings to last for a while, my interior design business had an amazing previous year and I felt confident in myself. I believed in my dream. I was ready to make that leap. You see my job had went through some major changes, just as all businesses do, but these changes began to disrupt my peace. I’d been promoted to a managers position and the love I had for my team was beyond what words could explain, I grew so much as an individual while managing them. My communication skills sharpened, my people skills strengthened and my level of compassion and humility expanded. I’ll be the first to admit upon entering the position I had a pretty tough exterior and being there brought me balance but it didn’t take long for me to realize that simply speaking up would turn into the Angry black woman persona. Verbalizing about the problems I faced only created more problems. I felt so unseen and really unheard. It was a whirlwind of achievements, wins and triumphs from my team and stress, being dismissed and being overlooked from my superiors. It was pretty overwhelming and just getting prepared to go in every morning became nerve racking. In fact, I suffered a very difficult and painful 3 month long miscarriage just from the stress alone. Mentally, physically and emotionally I wanted more for myself and I knew I deserved better.

What I thought would be a successful year for my interior design business, turned out to be a year of complete unknowns. Full of surprise twists and turns that strengthened my faith in the most unimaginable ways. A month after leaving my job I found out I was expecting, my interior design business took a huge hit from the pandemic and the money I’d saved up went towards my unmedicated home birth and honestly just surviving. Thinking back I have no idea how I made it through at times but I did. As a new mom in 2020, I wasn’t anywhere near prepared for what was to come. Going to my Dr appointments alone and the anxiety from my previous miscarriage brought on a whole new set of issues. It was a scary time but 2020 really highlighted my resilience. As the saying goes, you don’t know how strong you are until strength is all that you have. I struggled with a bad case of baby blues, perinatal OCD and postpartum anxiety as well as adjusting to my new normal as a mom. I wasn’t prepared for the mom brain to turn on and never turn off after the birth of my baby. I just thought I’d spend my time taking cute pictures in matching outfits and my day would be filled with kisses and snuggles but to be honest, motherhood hit me like a ton of bricks.

"You have been assigned this mountain to show others it can be moved."

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This quote speaks so vibrantly and rings very true to my heart. When we go within to heal, we also contribute to the healing of the collective. As I reflect over my life I have always been on this journey of self-discovery and enlightenment. It's never been about one situation or another but how the experiences as a whole have shaped and continue to mold me as I open my heart to growth, vulnerability and the abundance that awaits. We have all experienced the formidable times of life and making it through them can be quite challenging. These experiences all have one major key in common, they hold wisdom. They key is not allowing the pain from lifes experiences to occupy my mind and heart but rather for healing to saturate my soul as knowledge and wisdom flows. Through this journey of healing, I have realized some very significant truths. My time and energy is sacred and how I spend it matters, I am so special that God only created one of me, I am so powerful that I can create my own reality and being heard and seen is my birthright. My voice, my story and my experiences matter. Releasing what no longer serves me while simultaneously making room for what does has become a beneficial part of my journey. I started 2020 with a solid plan in place however it ended with a completely different story. I had no idea that birthing my baby would also be a time of rebirth for myself and getting to know and love this new version of me has been a beautiful journey. As a mom, my daughter not only brings out the best in me she also highlights my insecurities and the places within me that need healing. The healing that I have done has given me the courage to show up for myself and take up space in this world. Not just show up but show up authentically. During this very pivotal time, my life coaching business Coconut Oil Lyfestyle was born. Coconut Oil Lyfe is centered around motherhood, self- love, healing and utilizing the Universal laws to manifest and create the life that I not only desire but deserve and I inspire other women to do the same. Life has a funny way of creating beautiful things out of pain and as I move forward to share my story with the world I move with absolute confidence knowing that what’s next is much better than what’s been. So I move freely, embracing the experiences that I face and allowing my vulnerability to lead with high expectations that the Universe will continue to show up and show out on my behalf.