Men, We Need to Talk!

Let me tell you about Mr. Fool. He's just an average guy, doing his thing, working his ass off, and believing in all the hopes and dreams everybody has. Then he marries, has some children, and thinks life is all a bowl of roses and opportunity galore. But he did not know that when he gave his seal of approval and signed that marriage certificate, the Indian law system was ready to hit him with a great surprise, a surprise more shocking than getting hit by an express truck.

First comes Section 498A of the IPC for that one, first hit which treats every man like an 'accused' to commit domestic violence even for having just that one fight with the female half. Mr. Fool forgets to procure his wife's favorite purse. Emotional Abuse: boom goes he did not take the dustbin out third consecutive time this week, Boom. Economic abuse. You know the word. Allegations? That's okay. Proof? Who cares? You are a bad guy, my friend, because somebody says you are. Does Mr. Fool get a chance to tell his side? Nope. Courts want to hear the dramatic "sobbing woman" play rather than hear his story. Well, that's just the price of being a male, isn't it?

Then there's Section 125 of the CrPC, which is popularly known as the maintenance law. It is pretty interesting. Maintenance was supposed to support someone in case he was having monetary troubles following a divorce or separation. But in the case of Mr. Fool? Well, this law ensures that he gets his money flowing continuously. No matter whether his ex-wife can take care of herself. If she wants to keep living her fancy life, then Mr. Fool's paycheck is like a new ATM. Maintenance is no longer about what she needs but about how she wants to live. You want your ex to be happy, don't you? So, deal with it and give her the money. There's no way out. The law says that.

Now, while Mr. Fool thought the situation could not go further, we arrived at the Protection of Women from Domestic Violence Act. Good for it when it is implemented to actually protect people. However, like much of the Indian legal system, it often finds a way for abuse. Emotional abuse? Economic abuse? Anytime she may want, your wife can point out that whatever you do-or do not do-is abuse. Not wanting to get up off his rear end and call her? Emotional abuse. Not bending over to her "my way or the highway" policy? Mental abuse. The very definition of abuse has gotten so broad that Mr. Simpleton can be held guilty of abusing her if he doesn't want to spend 3 hours discussing it with her as to why she is upset today. And forget facts and evidence. The law doesn't need them.

Okay, we have had enough fun at the expense of Mr. Fool. So what do we do now? Is there hope for our poor Mr. Fool? Can we make anything of this? Let us discuss possible solutions.

First, there is Section 498A, which should not be an easy way to make false allegations against a man and his family, that ruins life. Yes, the law is there to protect. Now, it's a weapon, not a shield. An arrest should not occur without a proper investigation first. Guilt should not be assumed based on mere words. If one brings false accusations, then one should face the consequences for doing so. There should be protection for both parties because we all know how easy it is to turn a simple fight into a legal nightmare.

Section 125: Here again, the focus is not on living a high-flying life using other's money. If two persons are financially sound then this law needs a change majorly. It has already become too expensive to bear for the man. It should be such that maintenance is not misused, but given when really required.

It's time to change the Domestic Violence Act and explain better what emotional and economic abuse really is. The law is being used so broadly that almost any small problem can be seen as abuse. We need to use common sense again. Emotional abuse is not arguing about dinner plans or upset that someone bought the wrong cereal. There is no case if there is no real proof of abuse, and if a person made false accusations, then such a person should be dealt with accordingly.

Custody laws need a change of this sort. Joint custody needs to be the rule. Fathers are not second-class parents. Mothers cannot be presumed to be the best guardians. Their roles must be confronted directly. Until one can prove incapability in raising children, the two parents should share responsibility. It is time for fairness.

Conclusion The Indian legal system is in no way bad by itself; it's just that it needs big change. At present, it looks like a circus of Mr. Fool stuck in some clown suit. Laws meant to protect humans are misused and consequently, the system that can play a man's life either as a hero or anti-hero in a split moment. But if we ask for the right changes-if we want reform-we can make this system do what it is meant to do: give justice to everybody. Until then, Mr. Fool is stuck. But there is hope, and that is something worth fighting for.

Follow me on social media. And remember, just because things are a certain way doesn't mean they should be that way. Let's stop being bystanders in this crazy situation, let's think, and maybe, just maybe, we can do something about it.

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