What suddenly caused you to abandon a relationship?

My ex-boyfriend and I had an on-and-off relationship for nine years. The last breakup was triggered by a month of cold war, during which he wouldn't answer calls or messages. However, he could go out with other girls for drinks and late-night snacks, reminding them to dress warmly, and planning morning jogs together.

We were in a long-distance relationship for three years. I left my master's thesis to visit him, hoping to end the cold war and resolve our issues. Instead, I discovered ambiguous text messages between him and other girls. The breakup was brutal, with words that cut to the heart, making me feel these years were truly wasted.

Perhaps he belatedly realized my worth and didn't want to lose someone who loved him so much. He tried to reconcile several times, claiming the breakup was just a fit of anger. However, my intense love for him had already faded. Perhaps there was still some lingering attachment, given the many years and family pressure for me to get married. After a year of separation, we got back together. I truly believed in the saying that no one turns back just to love you again. What made me decide we couldn't get married was a small incident.

After graduating with a master's degree, I found a job at my undergraduate school, rented a place on my own, while he, after a failed business venture, was unemployed in the neighboring city. Work was challenging at that time, and I was preparing for a Ph.D. Every day, I returned home late, around 9 p.m., especially considering I still had to wash my hair, take a bath, do laundry, and mop the floor; I felt utterly exhausted. I told him how tired I was recently and how it would be great if I didn't have to hang clothes. He replied, "I'll come this week to help you hang clothes and mop the floor, so you won't be so tired." At that moment, I thought getting back with him might not be a bad idea, perhaps he was really changing and wanted to live a good life together.

He came over on the weekend, we went out for dinner, and when we got home, I threw the clothes into the washing machine and lay on the sofa playing with my phone. When the clothes were done, I didn't move. He said, "Go hang the clothes; otherwise, they'll smell." I said, "I'll do it later; I don't want to move right now." Ten minutes later, he said, "Go hang the clothes; otherwise, they'll smell." I said, "I don't want to move right now, and I don't want to hang the clothes. Can't you understand? If they smell, I'll wash them again tomorrow." Because he had said he'd help me hang the clothes and tidy up the room, I was a bit angry at his current behavior. He walked around the washing machine, asked me to take a look, and said he didn't know how to hang clothes. I got angry at that moment; he was truly unreliable. If he had the time and willingness, he would have hung the clothes long ago.

I got up and hung the clothes on the balcony, then started sweeping and mopping the floor. He tried to grab the broom from me when he saw me sweeping. I was extremely angry and directly told him not to touch me, stay away, and not to interfere with my cleaning. He was helpless and stood aside for a while, then went into the room to sleep. I calmly cleaned the room, packed my things, as if I could see my tired self coming home from work, having to cook, clean the house, and even take care of children after marriage. He wouldn't help with anything. That's how we broke up.