The truth of my life (an arranged marriage)

The truth of my marriage. My story in my words. The journey from my marriage to my post-wedding ritual.

4 years ago today, my parents got me married to a mechanic named Ali in a small town. By the grace of Allah, my parents married me with great fanfare. But my in-laws quarreled with my parents in the evening. You people did not show us hospitality at all. My in-laws quarreled a lot and refused to take me with them. Then my parents apologized to my in-laws despite not being at fault and sent me away from my in-laws. When I reached my in-laws, my in-laws stopped me at the threshold, and my in-laws said that this is the blessing of Allah and I cannot enter until I eat this blessing. Hearing this from my in-laws, I was very nervous and I took that blessing, then my in-laws allowed me to enter. Then I and my husband entered inside, we had dinner and prayed in the court of Allah and to Allah By grace, my marriage night will be completed.

And The next day, my feast was early. No one gave me anything and after some time Breakfast was given to me and I had breakfast. At noon, I was alone in my room. It was my first day with my in-laws and not my mother-in-law Nor did my husband's sister-in-law prepare me for the wedding. So I will prepare myself. All my in-laws will go to the wedding hall without me, The cars left 'and' my husband also left with his family without taking me. My in-laws had a woman who would take me to the wedding hall in an auto-rickshaw. When I went to the wedding hall for my wedding, my parents and my family came there. But my husband took me away from my parents and my family, And I was not even allowed to speak well. And my in-laws are abusive towards my parents and my family. Fed food is like what we eat in our homes in our daily life. Still, my parents, my family, and any complaints from my in-laws did not. Then, my sister and brother took the cake with great love 'and' we did the cake cutting. Then, according to the ritual, my parents asked my in-laws for permission to take the bride and groom with them for the ritual. So my mother-in-law and father-in-law flatly refused, and my parents and my family left there sadly. Then my in-laws left for home, one by one, in their cars. And with me was my husband and his sister-in-law, he bade mother and his bade mother's daughter. My husband called an auto rickshaw to leave for home 'and' we all entered the auto-rickshaw. As soon as the auto-rickshaws were ready to go, my husband quickly took out his jacket and gave it to his sister-in-law 'and' we left for home then on the way my husband took out his tie and gave it to his sister-in-law and also opened his sleeve And rolled up the sleeves and messed up the hair And shortly after we reached home, I was entering the house when my husband's sister-in-law stopped me at the door She said that your room is upstairs, there is no need for you to come downstairs, you go upstairs, I felt very bad And I went upstairs quietly, but my husband went downstairs with his sister-in-law and I sat alone in my bedroom and started crying a lot. Because I was very much in love with my husband and I believed in my husband as my whole world, I could not understand my husband's behavior. Soon my husband started asking me why are you crying, I don't like to cry, wipe my tears. And then my husband's sister-in-law came upstairs and entered my bedroom and asked what are you two talking about. Tell me, too. She started staring at my husband and said to my husband, what are you doing? Come down with me. Hearing this, my husband and his sister-in-law felt strange. They started looking "and" their sister-in-law went downstairs. Then, at that time, my husband's brother's elder son, who was 4 years old, came over And said uncle is calling you mom and grandma. He started making noise, So my husband went down with his nephew. And I was alone in my bedroom, saying that my husband's cousin's sister came and said that your mother-in-law and father-in-law are calling you downstairs. As soon as I hear this, I will go down with them. As soon as I reached down I greeted everyone but no one even returned the greeting and no one even spoke to me. I felt very bad seeing this and May sat in silence. Then suddenly all my in-laws went upstairs, then my mother-in-law came down and went upstairs with matches and kerosene. Then all my in-laws burnt the top, the smoke of which was coming down to the bottom, and I was very scared to see it all. Then after some time, all my in-laws came downstairs and my in-laws asked me to go upstairs. And I will go to the upper side as soon as I reach the top, I will feel nervous and after a while, I will have my period. Then my husband came 'and' I told them about my periods and me and my husband both went downstairs and had dinner. My husband said to me that you should go upstairs. I will come in a little while and I will obey my husband and go upstairs. And then my husband came with his mother. And my mother-in-law slowly came to me and asked, have you menstruated? I said yes, I have menstruated a little while ago. Then my mother-in-law told me that in this way, you will have to keep a distance from your husband, so you should sleep on the ground separately from your husband. Hearing this, I felt a little pain and I shook my head silently, then my mother-in-law said, Why have you stopped yet? Take the spring that is currently lying on the bed and put it on the ground below. I will be very scared to see my mother-in-law talking in such a manner. And hastily went to the hall and took the bed and laid it on the floor. It was very cold that night, so I asked my mother-in-law for a shawl. And said that now you are going to sleep with the door of the room half open because there is no need for you to lock the door. Saying this, my mother-in-law was leaving when my husband said to his mother you shouldn't worry, we will do as you said. Hearing this, my mother-in-law will smile and leave. As soon as my mother-in-law leaves, my husband sleeps. It was my second night with my in-laws and seeing all this was hurting me a lot. I was a new bride for me, it was a new house, a new environment, I was very nervous "and" the door was half open. My husband's elder brother's and elder brother's wife's room was in the wing of our room, and my bedroom door was half open. And I was very nervous seeing the door half open 'and' I was looking at my husband 'but' my husband was sleeping peacefully. Seeing this, I cried a lot and I started asking Allah to 'pray'. May Allah quickly end this night and I will lie down crying. I started getting very cold, so I opened the shawl and saw that the shawl was damaged in many places. Seeing this, I started to cry even more and fell asleep on the same shawl.

Then by the grace of Allah, it was morning and when I looked at my husband, my husband had passed away 'and' I began to cry. But I wiped my tears today, I didn't want to cry because I had to go to my house with my husband for the ritual. (According to the original May ritual, my husband and I were supposed to go on the evening of the festival, that is, on the evening of yesterday, But my father-in-law didn't allow us to go) so we were going today 'so' I would get ready quickly 'and' I will walk downstairs and greet everyone as I enter. And I saw that my husband and many other relatives were at home, and I went to one side and stayed. So, my husband's cousin's sister said, "Please be worthy of our son, how handsome is our son, and look how he is." Hearing this, all my in-laws started laughing, and seeing all this, I was in a lot of pain and suffering, And tears were coming from my eyes. I would sit aside, I could not understand. Why are my in-laws behaving like this to me? Why are they all talking to me like this? Why are they all humiliating me? My in-laws got their son married to me just because they liked me, then why are they all treating me like this? Seeing all this, I felt very strange, my head was exploding with pain. Meanwhile, my mother-in-law said that you and your father-in-law want to talk to you about something important. After hearing this, I got up and went to my mother-in-law and father-in-law then my father-in-law said Look, from now on you have no relationship with your parents, your brother, and sister, from now on you will do what we all tell you. And yes, one more important thing, you will not say anything about this to your parents at all. If oblivion says anything to his parents about this matter, it will be painful for you. Do you want to trouble your parents, no good daughter should trouble her parents. The rest of you are sensible. Then my mother-in-law said you are listening to what your father-in-law said. Remember and understand all the words of your father-in-law. Come now, touch your father-in-law's feet. Then I touched the feet of my father-in-law and mother-in-law, then my mother-in-law said, "Now you go to the upper side and wear the burka." So I was getting dressed and getting ready when my husband came and said, ``Listen, I have something to talk to you about. So I said, "What's the matter?" Then my husband said, "Look, you live forever." Do not tell anything about your in-laws to your family If I ever know you have gone to your home and said anything about it So I will beat you and bring you from your house to my house always remember this in life, go get ready now 'and' I'm getting ready to go down (Because my husband used to go downstairs and get ready from the night of my marriage) And I will get ready crying and come down with my bag. So my husband asked me if you touched the feet of my parents And I said yes, I have already touched the feet of your parents, So my husband said to me that you should touch the feet of my parents in front of me and listen to both of your hands touch the feet with good care. And I touched the feet of my mother-in-law and father-in-law again. And then my husband will leave for the bus stand by auto rickshaw and reach the bus stand. Then we will both board the bus and leave for my home and reach my city. Then we boarded an auto rickshaw and reached my parent's house. As soon as I saw my family, I would be very happy, my happiness knew no end and my family was also very happy to see me. But my husband did not even greet my parents, 'but' my mother greeted my husband and my husband did not say anything. He just asked me which side the room was on and when I showed him the room, he directly entered the room and sat down. And then I hugged my mother after first seeing me in front of her. My mother was very happy and started crying (I was meeting my family after two days 'but' I felt like I was meeting my family after centuries because in those two days I saw everything I had never dreamed of.) Then my parents asked me if they are happy with my in-law's daughter, So I smiled at my parents and said yes, I am very happy with my in-laws. My in-laws are very nice people And my parents were very relieved to hear this 'and' I will forget my pain by seeing my parents happy.(Actually, I didn't want to give any pain to my parents because I was worried that my parents wouldn't be able to bear this pain So I did not tell my parents anything about my in-laws) My parents asked me why my husband didn't talk to us and I said maybe he was too tired. So my mother said you go to your husband and see if your husband needs anything And you take care of your husband and you both get some rest and then come for lunch. So I went to my husband's place, took some rest and we both came for lunch and my family And my family took good care of my husband and then my husband had lunch And saying that I have come for a short walk, my husband took my brother's bike and left. And then I also had lunch with my family and had a lot of good conversations with my family and had a good time. It was evening and after some time my husband went ahead and we both drank coffee. By the grace of Allah, my family and "i" were very happy. The next day was (the post-wedding ritual of my marriage) so my parents called my in-laws. So my father-in-law picked up the phone, then my mother spoke to my father-in-law saying, "I am inviting you all to a (post-wedding ritual) tomorrow, so you all have to come tomorrow."Hearing this, my father-in-law started a quarrel with my mother and spoke very loudly with my mother. All of us will come for (the post-wedding ritual) only when you apologize to me and all my relatives with folded hands. So, my mother asked my father-in-law, what have we done? For which we have to apologize to you and all your relatives. So my father-in-law said that you did not consider our good in marriage, because of which our relatives are angry with us. Your apologies to me and everyone in our house and my in-laws and my wife's brothers and their wives will be very happy and feel very good. For the happiness of all of us, you must apologize. Remember, you are the girl's parents and your daughter has to live in our house. The rest you are wise to. Hearing this, my mother started crying and requested my father-in-law not to speak like that for the sake of Allah. By the grace of Allah, we did not miss anything in our daughter's marriage. If you still see any deficiency, we apologize and for Allah's sake, come tomorrow for (the post-wedding ritual). But despite my mother's pleas, my father-in-law did not listen to my mother's words and kept quarreling. And so my father-in-law argued for an hour. And my father-in-law said that now my phone is on speakerphone, apologize to us. And my mother apologized. Then my father-in-law said that tomorrow when we come for (the post-wedding ritual), you will have to apologize for that too. Saying this, my father-in-law cut the phone. So my mother called me to her And asked me, daughter, are you happy with your in-laws? Look, daughter, you tell the truth. It seems to me that you are hiding something from us (My mother would have thought that I must be hiding something from her). We talked for a long time, 'but finally, I managed to convince my mother that I am happy with my in-laws. Then my mother told me to go and invite my husband for dinner. So I went to my husband and saw that my husband was talking on the phone and as soon as he saw me, my husband hung up the phone. So I called my husband for dinner. Then my husband and I had dinner with my family. But even during dinner, my husband did not talk to anyone from my family. So then my brother said to my husband, let's go for a walk and eat a pan. My husband will agree to go for a walk on my brother's many invitations. Then after a while, my brother and my husband went back home. Then we all fell asleep.

Then it was early And I woke up (Today is my post-wedding ritual). I got ready and woke up my husband And we had coffee and breakfast All my family members were preparing for the post-wedding ritual my mother said to me, daughter, you should rest So I will go to my room My husband was busy on the phone My husband was ignoring me So I was resting 'and' then it was afternoon my in-laws were coming 'so' I got ready quickly And soon my in-laws came I greeted my in-laws and my family treated my in-laws very well By the grace of Allah, my family made my post-wedding ritual ceremony very grand Then my family treated my in-laws to lunch My in-laws served lunch now it was time for post-wedding ritual ceremony 'so' I went to a room to get ready. So my husband, my mother-in-law, and my husband's aunt, these three are in my room And my mother-in-law started threatening me that tell me whether you keep a distance from your husband or not And my husband's aunt also said yes, you have to keep a long distance from your husband during menstruation And then my husband said to his mother that I don't want to stay here When you go, invite me to go with you. My mother-in-law was happy to hear this and said that your wife cannot come with us today. Because tomorrow is the last post-wedding ritual of his and yours. So he should come with his parents tomorrow. So my husband said to take me to go with you today. Hearing all these words from my husband and my mother-in-law, I became very upset. And I started thinking in my heart that day by day the behavior of my husband and his family is getting worse. I was in a lot of pain but still smiling. (Because I don't want to cause any pain to my parents) then my sister-in-law took me to the present for the post-wedding ritual. So, seeing my sister, my mother-in-law started talking to me very nicely. Then we all gathered for the post-wedding ritual. Then, by the grace of Allah, the ritual will be done. (My mother takes care of my happiness according to the condition that my father-in-law had set for performing the post-wedding ritual and requested my in-laws to forgive me if there is any lack of respect at the time of marriage.) Seeing my mother asking for forgiveness, I asked Allah for only one prayer, may Allah not give anyone a daughter like me. Then my parents arranged a tiffin for my in-law's night box and gave tiffin to my in-laws. Then my mother-in-law said that I am taking my son home with us Because my son is not feeling well. And the ritual of the last post-wedding will be done tomorrow at our house, so you bring your daughter with you tomorrow after saying that, my in-laws and my husband left. And I will quietly go to my room and soon my mother will come to my room. And she said, "My daughter, why did your husband leave?" I said to my mother, "There is nothing. My husband's health is not good." So he left you not to worry at all. I am very happy with my husband. He takes good care of me. With great difficulty, I managed to convince my mother that I am very happy with my husband. Then my mother said, "That's it, daughter, I believe your words." And he said, come now and sit with everyone because tomorrow you will go to your in-laws. So then I will come back with my mother and sat with my family And we joked a lot and by the grace of Allah I was very happy then we had dinner And May will go to her room to sleep And I was thinking the whole night why my husband and my in-laws are behaving so badly. When my mother-in-law and father-in-law got me married to their son only after liking me And my husband is treating me so badly (I love my husband so much) then why is he doing this to me? And why are my husband's relatives mistreating me when I am a new bride? Anyway, I am married now 'and' I have to make my marriage successful And I will make my marriage successful. (Because I love my husband dearly 'and' he is my world). Now I will win the heart of my husband. I fell asleep thinking this.

By the grace of Allah, it will be morning again 'and' I will be refreshed And drank coffee and had breakfast and then started getting ready to go to my in-laws, then all our relatives had also come And my parents also kept gifts for my in-laws And then we will leave for my in-laws in our cars. It was about noon when we all reached my in-laws and as soon as I and my family and our relatives entered the house, we all greeted my in-laws. And we all stayed 'and' soon my in-laws called for lunch And my family and our relatives sat down for lunch And I started serving lunch to everyone And as soon as I saw the dish, I was surprised because my in-laws had prepared a daily dish for my family and our relative's Then I served lunch to my family and relatives and had lunch with them. And then after a while, my in-laws performed the post-wedding ritual. And then my family and relatives will all leave for home.

(This was the journey from my marriage to my post-wedding ritual ceremony) So that's how my marriage and marriage ceremony happened.