The best dowry for girls is never a good-looking face or excellent, but a sense of boundaries

Many years ago, where I worked after work, I would always hear a group of people screaming and shouting: "Look, that girl, so great, was picked up by a Rolls Royce car again. I heard that the guy is a rich boy."

"Who made her so good-looking and a sea king"

"It seems that marrying into a rich family is undoubtedly a good idea"

The next day, the girl was picked up again by a Porsche car after work everyone was envious.

In the '80s, a small number of people's minds were still stuck in the vision of marrying into a rich family can be less struggle for ten years, and nowadays, women can top half of the sky, began to raise young meat era, it seems that the times are increasingly updated.

At the end of this story, the girl did marry into a luxury family as she wished, but not the Rolls Royce, nor the Porsche, but the BMW

But, unfortunately, the girl divorced not long after.

In today's world, some girls because of the high value, extraordinarily good, the bride price can be asked to 500,000, 1 million today, indeed, the times are progressing, but no one has found that married women are more and more difficult, you ask for 500,000, 1 million, the other party may not say anything at the time, but with the years of marriage, just like the part-time workers and hired, and constantly give you extra code, it will require you: must have a second child, must have a boy, must raise the child to college, must resign to go home to bring up the baby, must mother-in-law and daughter-in-law live together, must ......

Many girls often write to me privately: why do I look so good, once those licking dogs can line up around the world, my husband chased me how many many years, I am so good, why finally my husband still divorced me?

Why finally my husband is listening to his mother in all things at home, but let me in a dilemma of mother-in-law conflict?

Why in the end, my husband had an affair with another woman?

Why in the end, my husband and I are strangers?

Why, in the end, I met all the scum?

Many girls listed a variety of problems, but also accompanied by my sentence: "How can I avoid meeting scum?" I'm not sure if I'm good enough, not perfect enough" and so on.

I looked at her with a smile and asked them only two questions: "Have you ever lived together before marriage?"

"Do you still have flings with backups before or after marriage?"

Although I know that not all marital problems are necessarily triggered by two problems, I do have to admit that some marriages start with such factors that may perhaps be present as well.

The girl looked at me with disdain and rolled her eyes, "Big sister, you've come through the ages, right, what age is this, and you still have such a serious virginity complex?"

"But have you ever thought, for your husband, he spent so much bride price, so much thought to marry you home, he may not want how expensive your family dowry, nor how good you, how good-looking you are, perhaps, he wants, just you to him, to the marriage of a highly valued attitude of responsibility and knowledge and other people of the opposite sex between a The sense of boundaries, as a way to observe you, whether you are a casual or even let him feel valuable, high regard for the girl? If not, will he not also have regrets for the rest of his life, will also have lost and ...... so much so that, when you need him to stand up for you, he chose to hesitate ...... because he was thinking, is he worth it!"

The girl this time ya bird silent.

Yes, in this era to talk about the sense of boundaries and the girl's cleanliness and self-love, perhaps a little backward, but have to admit that the theory from ancient times, plus you can no longer find other reasons for marital misfortune when we do not think about it, a casually living with a boy before marriage, and the boy does not have a sense of boundaries girl, there is indeed one of the factors that lead to an unhappy marriage.

Although human culture is progressing, the promotion of feminism, freedom, and equality between men and women, why is it that men can live together before marriage, while women are not allowed to? It is not allowed, but when you choose what kind of responsibility, attitude to face your future marriage, to be responsible for your life, do not blame why always meet scum, do not blame why the husband in the marriage is not too important to you, especially in some bottom line issues and your emotional problems.

After all, women and men still have different places. This is not discrimination, but I hope more girls pay attention to the responsibility, boundaries, and such issues. After all, men are different from you in this area of gender

From the physiological point of view: women living together before marriage may cause pregnancy, miscarriage, induced abortion, abortion, uterine damage, and other physiological hazards, some women prevent pregnancy and long-term use of contraceptives, for post-marital pregnancy and their physiological harm is very large, while the male physiology has not changed.

There was a woman who had a thin uterine wall after marriage because of long-term abortions and induced abortions before marriage, and when she became pregnant again, the doctor's advice was that she could not induce abortion nor give birth to a child, otherwise, it would lead to uterine rupture and hemorrhage. And her husband, when he learned of this situation, decidedly chose to divorce her ......

From a psychological point of view: even if the country is now more open, there is still a world of contempt for the behavior of women living together before marriage. Especially when the man knows that even if his wife is living with him cause of the pregnancy, he still after the marriage will repeatedly have doubts: this child is not mine? Is she a person who can be casual with me like this the same with others?

If in such a hesitant moment, your husband's ex finds him to hit on, this time, he will not also be thinking: anyway, the wife has no sense of boundaries, why does he still want to keep this so-called sense of boundaries? Of course, not all cheating is due to the woman can not keep the sense of boundaries triggered, but if we put ourselves in each other's shoes to consider the problem, is it not sometimes, can also go to empathize?

Indeed, a good-looking face and excellent is the first step you take to get a quality man to you. But the popular movie star Shu Qi said a sentence

Women can put on their clothes one by one neatly and use the law of workplace and business equality to get resources from men's hands, this is called skill! Such ability will make men look at you with an extra sense of seniority and respect. If you want to thank a man with more than your physical advantage, you can give him money, or gifts, but don't give yourself a ride!

Women who take off their clothes piece by piece and use what they think is beautiful to take the resources from the hands of men, it's called a mechanic! Such a profession will only make men look at you with more of a sense of wind and contempt.

A woman with a sense of seniority will automatically have the function of shielding scum and inferior men. There is a very good saying: good-looking skin is the same, as the interesting soul of a million miles.

Guo Jingjing can come and go as she pleases in a luxurious family, gaining the utmost respect and exclusive favor, never because she is a diving queen, nor is good-looking or good. On the diving, diving better than her, there will be young faces year after year; on the face, the entertainment industry is more than enough; on the excellent, the luxury family is not bad besbesidese an excellent woman. But the most important point is: she is senior, clean, fun, and self-disciplined!

Girls, ah, never in the pre-marital relationship is not determined, easily let the male to you have casual physical contact. Even if it is a hand, even if it is unclear ambiguity and hug ......

Never in the case of marriage already have a family, lonely, open social software, and friends of the opposite sex to a: "I miss you, I am very sad, you can comfort me a little?"

Or after the marriage casually and the opposite sex many times alone to dinner, travel, doing what should be your lover to do with you. And also the beautiful name: my male best friend

You all these kinds of behavior, not because of how good-looking you are, nor because of how many people are pursuing you, not to mention how free you live. To put it bluntly, you just don't have a sense of boundaries.

The relationship is not determined, you will determine the relationship after the things to do all over again, then why the other party also asked you: want to be his girlfriend? If you do all the things you should do after marriage before marriage, and do not want to be responsible, why does the other party still give you a paper marriage?

Sadness and grief, you can find your husband, you can also find your best friend, but you can not have any sense of boundaries to find a sense of the opposite sex who originally had a good feeling about you, so unclear development, not only let the opposite sex friends think you casual, in the eyes of your husband, you are promiscuous and do not love themselves.

For a woman who does not love herself and has no sense of boundaries, it is hard to get the maximum respect and admiration from the opposite sex. Perhaps, at first, it is true that you are attracted to your face to the point that you can not help yourself, but with in-depth communication, your casual and no bottom line sense of boundaries will give the other party a sense of psychological disgust and low class.

This is the fundamental reason why you are not valued by the opposite sex, by your boyfriend and your husband before and after marriage.

Women who are truly self-disciplined and make it big, no one is relying on revealing clothes, good looks, or many suitors to maximize resources and contacts. Often these types of women know what they want, know how to maintain the right proportion with the opposite sex, distance, and let each other talk about cooperation and resources taken from each other.

So, I hope all girls should remember that your face looks good or excellent is a good thing, but is not the best undercard for your accompanying marriage. Your real advantage, the best dowry, is your sense of boundaries between you and the opposite sex, cleanliness, and a sense of self-discipline and demand for their own.

A woman who has no sense of boundaries with the opposite sex often does not have a clear sense of purpose and does not even know what she wants.

I hope that the next time you meet a quality unmarried person, do not take your so-called face, your talent as an advantage, to talk about the so-called bride price or ask the other party to give you which conditions. Instead, you should talk about your innocence, your self-discipline, and your sense of boundaries, perhaps, when these conditions are laid out, what do not need you to say, the other party will be respected; however.

I hope that the next time you are married and lonely, do not just send ambiguous text messages to the opposite sex or go to a separate appointment because, in the end, you may find: you just want to find a listener, that person, is not necessarily him. But it may be your wrong ambiguity one day, resulting in an irreparable end. You should choose a professional counselor to talk to when you are lonely and helpless, or take a diary and write about your feelings at the moment alone. Not disturbing others, and not crossing the line, is the greatest self-discipline of an adult woman and the most basic responsibility to the family.

Because, the best dowry for girls, the greatest sense of seniority, is: the sense of boundaries!