My husband admires my bestie, peeks at her husband's cell phone, and discovers they are already on good terms

For the past three months, my husband has been trying to squeeze time to play with his mobile phone when he comes home. Every time I try to see what he is doing with his mobile phone, he tries to avoid it. And because my husband seldom drinks, it's hard to find a chance to peek at his phone. A few days ago, the husband's best friend got married, the husband went to his friend's home to help two days in advance, and did not go home at night. On his friend's wedding day, the husband was so happy that he drank some wine and got drunk.

For me, this would be a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to peek at my husband's phone, and I wouldn't miss it. To my surprise, the woman whom my husband kept in constant contact with turned out to be my best friend. From their chat logs, I learned that 1) they had already developed a romantic relationship; They had already done something shady.

Before, I was wondering: 1) She rejected me several times when I went shopping with her; 2) Every time I make fun of my husband in front of her, she excuses him. Now I see: she was just the shameless third party who had intervened in my marriage.

Forgive me for the impulse of the day, I took a screenshot of their chat record and then sent it to my best friend, asking her: What do you want? My bestie apologized to me and swore that she would not have any contact with my husband in the future. Actually, my best friend has a family of her own, and I think her husband is kind to her, so I don't understand why she still wants to hang out with my husband.

The next morning, my husband woke up and found that I had checked his phone. Instead of apologizing, he angrily told me that I shouldn't peep into his privacy. Now, my husband gives me cold violence. I wonder, clearly do wrong person is he, he why still in front of me so tough?

Want to ask: is such marriage still necessary to continue?

Your husband's behavior is called a backhanded rake. His purpose was to ease the embarrassment of his betrayal of marriage with a guilty mind. But to you, it hurts. Maybe all you need is for your husband to apologize for what happened. It can also be interpreted as: your husband is too shameless, but he has done something shameless, so that he does not know how to face you, just become angry. The big picture for your husband: a little man who loves himself too much and is not responsible. As I have emphasized over and over again, there are two criteria for forgiving a cheater: 1) the other person's attitude of apology; 2) Are you willing to forgive? Since your husband won't apologize for having an affair with your best friend, consider divorce options.

In fact, when you divorce your husband, your best friend is going to be the one on the hot seat, because she's afraid that if you divorce, you're going to show up to her family and tell her husband about her dirty business with your husband. My attitude on this matter is: there is no need. Sometimes the best way to get back at someone is to let them take a lifetime debt to you. The man who owes you this will be ashamed of himself forever. In addition, about your husband drunk you look at his mobile phone this matter, also can be a matter of reason: he used to deduce the mobile phone in front of you never leave his hand, but also to you evasive, how can not arouse your suspicion?

Of course, when you ask your husband for a divorce, he probably won't agree, and in the meantime, he'll probably keep his mouth shut. In the meantime, it's best to toughen up your divorce and maximize the material benefits for you and your children. If your husband is not stingy about dividing the family property, tell him that if he can't negotiate, he'll see you in court. Trust me, your husband will feel he can't afford to lose this person and will compromise accordingly. At least he loves himself and doesn't want his reputation ruined. During this period, you also need to warn him: do shady things, you did not go to his unit to make trouble, is also a compromise and kindness to him.

A lot of times, people after derailment, in the face of all kinds of revenge lover, will blame lover cruel, want to say is: without you planted derailment because, how can bear the fruit of revenge by lover? People in this life, the most should not have behavior: the handle falls in the hands of others. If everyone's behavior is relatively clean, how can we worry about being reprisal by people around us? Therefore, people live a lifetime, need to have a sense of shame, for some shady deals had better not touch. What's worse, if you've done something wrong, you should apologize sincerely and never blame someone else for it. In this case, your actions will only add fuel to the fire for the person you've already offended.

Seriously, in the adult world, it's all about the investment you've made in the relationship, the shame of divorce, not wanting your kids to grow up in a divorced home, and not wanting your parents to follow you around. However, do not bully others too much at any time, after all, there is a limit to the tolerance of others, once their own misbehavior exceeds the tolerance of the other side, or touch the other side's bottom line, don't you think the other side should fight back? Besides, when there's no need for two people to live together anymore, isn't that what's left to fight over? Child custody and division of property?

There are some people in the divorce can see a decent, usually divided into two situations: 1) in the face of divorce, the people who make mistakes are willing to take a gesture of atonement, in the family property level to give the party who did not make mistakes; 2) The innocent party is too strong to care about the division of property and feels that divorce is the only way to get real relief. To put it bluntly, when both parties are going through a divorce and are concerned about the family's finances, they end up making the divorce process less dignified. Here I want to remind those who are not the fault of the divorce party: if you are rare, please do not choose mercy, because mercy at this time, in the future one day, the other party will not say hello, only in the heart think you stupid.

What is karma? Is one thing, let in the future life to live a more miserable life; Is everyone see through your character after your isolation; It is your indiscretions that become the talk of the town; It's a lifelong debt of conscience that will haunt you for a long time. Because people have the attribute of memory, but also have feelings of the species, so, do guilty people, how can escape the suffering of conscience?

Most of the time, we are more concerned about how much money we have in our pocket. When the money we earn is not clean money, do you think it is really safe to spend money? Or maybe you have a few years of impunity, but in the end justice grinds slow. The same is true in the emotional field. Once you miss someone who loves you like life, you will surely meet someone in your future life who you love but treats you like a dog. You just wait and see.