Love is having the courage to admit, "I'm trying, but I don't know how to love you the way you need me."”

Love is a tough thing, isn’t it? No one ever tells you how different it appears to everyone else. It's possible that something that seems excessive to you could be just the right amount for someone else. There’s no law; there’s no common measurement for love. And that’s where we get it wrong—thinking what’s enough for us should be enough for them.

There’s a type of love that overflows out of you—sloppy and loud, too much to hold. The type of love you’re terrified to touch because it feels so large, so loud, so heavy. But someone else may scarcely notice it. They could look at what you’ve given and silently wonder why you’re holding back, not understanding you’ve handed away your entire heart.

Then there’s the opposite. The love that’s softer, simpler, and understated. The love that seems like a whisper when you’re accustomed to a roar. It confuses you and makes you doubt whether it’s truly love at all, since you’ve been trained to anticipate fireworks, huge gestures, and declarations in the rain. And you will start to think, “Is this what love is supposed to feel like?”

Here’s the thing: love is relative. It’s not a one-size fits-all type of situation, and that’s why it’s so difficult. What matters to one individual could scarcely register for another. ItIt’s not just about loving someone; it’s about making sure they feel it, because what’s the purpose of giving all the love in your heart if it doesn’t reach theirs?It’s not just about loving someone; it’s about making sure they feel it, because what’s the point of giving all the love in your heart if it doesn’t reach theirs?

But it’s not easy. It implies moving outside of what you’re accustomed to. It involves asking, “What does love feel like to you?” Sometimes, the answer will surprise you. Sometimes, it will hurt. You’ll learn that your love, as enormous as it seems to you, isn’t enough for them. Or their affection, as constant as it is, isn’t what you need. Maybe your love languages are so different that you’re literally communicating with one another in code.

But it’s alright. It doesn’t imply failure. Love is not about getting it perfect the first time. Love is not only about giving—it’s about understanding; it’s about knowing their language, even when it’s different from yours. It’s about attempting to meet someone where they are, even if it’s beyond your comfort zone. It’s about being willing to admit, “I don’t know how to love you the way you need, but I’m trying.”

Sometimes, the greatest act of love is admitting that someone needs more than you can give or that you need more than they can deliver.

Because of this, I hope that if you love someone, this serves as a reminder to you to not only offer them what is convenient for you to provide. Check to see whether they are experiencing it. Think about whether or not it reaches them. For the simple reason that, at the end of the day, that is what love is intended to do. It is intended to move them emotionally and touch their hearts.

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