When Alice Met Auri

Some time ago, Alice fell into a hole, just like the one leading to Wonderland. The hole was sometimes long and dark, but it was full of marvellous happenings too. Soon, the hole became a life of its own. All sense of ‘reality’ was lost. Her perception of time was distorted, she had no idea how long she had been falling. All she could do was surrender, accepting that this was just the way life would be now… and as she did so, a pattern started to emerge. She started to watch everything she had ever created fall away, piece by piece. Sometimes she felt sadness, sometimes relief, but soon the painful pattern grew into something quite beautiful. She realised that each time something fell, something new and magical arrived in its place. And that feeling of magic became somewhat addictive.

The dark hole soon transformed into a spiral of inner healing. A deep search into ancestral history, a painful journey of removing those traumas and expectations, a long and arduous recovery from the ways they had manifested in her current life. Once enough space had been cleared, she was met with quite a surprise. Extraordinary connections to the other realms flew in, wanting to be her friends and companions. Spirits, Light Beings, animals, shadows… suddenly her world was not as it had always seemed.

She now existed not only in the physical world, but in the many dimensions of the Spirit world. She had been multiplied, expected to survive in more realms than one, a fate that burdened her when she eventually resurfaced from the hole and entered back into what others call the ‘real world’. The trouble was, the life she had previously created had no room for a multi-dimensional being. She felt very out of place, very quickly. She hid away, knowing she had only one choice. To move forward and seek something new.

Five years, multiple soul shattering heartbreaks, many long periods of aloneness and a few fierce initiations later, she crawled out from under her rock. As if thrown to the lions, she plummeted back into this ‘real world’. Only she found that not one part of it still felt real to her. Suddenly, she was back in the city. Things were too fast, too busy, too disconnected from the Source of Light and her beautiful Earth. Everything was out of balance… people were hiding behind masks and hoods, talking to her as if she should understand what they were saying but speaking an entirely different language. Worst of all, the extraordinary beings who she now treasured as friends and family had gone completely silent. Life turned dark once again. She crawled back under her rock, looking for safety but found that her comfort zone no longer felt so comfortable. She was pushed back out, lost in a world that had no place for her. Days passed by as she lay in stillness, too overwhelmed to move. Suddenly the thousands of other people’s auras surrounding her were louder than her own voice. She ran to city parks, hugging the few trees around her and crying tears of grief, searching for the reality she knew so well but didn’t seem to exist where she had landed. She was slipping, until one day, as she was lying face down in the grass, she heard the whispers of little plants around her.

With a rustle, a tiny little lady draped in green flowers emerged from the blades of grass, crawled into Alice’s palm and looked her straight in the eye. She introduced herself as Mary, and she said:

“If you honour me, I will help you.

But if you disrespect me, I may destroy you.”

Alice heeded her message carefully, she knew she needed all the help she could get. She thanked the little lady and promised to do her very best to respect and appreciate her new friend. She promised to never depend on Mary, she would allow Mary to be free. She would never go searching for Mary, she would wait only until Mary came to her. She would never spend too much time with Mary, knowing that she needed to be strong by herself too. Her friendship with Mary developed beautifully and naturally, as if a long lost friend had come to be by her side. But deep down, she knew that someday she would have to let Mary go.

Until then, Alice waited patiently for the sun to descend. She would feel out a time when a sense of stillness had fallen upon the city, call Mary’s name and close the curtains, turning away from it all. She knew she was only escaping the “reality” she would one day face, but it worked for the time being. With Mary’s help, she could block out the overwhelming energies and the Spirits started to speak again. One by one, her Light friends returned. The parts of her divine essence came creeping back in. She sang. She made music. She danced like crazy. She heard her soul sing back in response. But the more she found herself in these places, the less Mary would visit her, until finally she stopped coming all together.

Alice was in it alone now, but she didn’t mind. It was time for her and Mary to go their separate ways, at least for a little while. She trusted the process, because she no longer needed to escape. She was using her own divine creativity to arrive. Soon, the angel’s whispers started coming through again. Their voices grew louder and louder, until they told Alice something that she’d heard a million times before. Only this time, it really caught her attention.

‘Remember who you are’

What do they mean, Alice thought. Aren’t I myself already?

As she lay in confusion, a dear Angel appeared at her bedside. He took her by the arm, leading her on a journey through the many twists and turns of her memories. She saw herself as a young adolescent, bold and defiant, swearing to all who would listen that she would never become a slave to society. She saw herself as a five year old girl, crying on the floor, despairing at the thought of going to school and praying that she could go back to being a two year old. Because that was the last time she’d remembered feeling free. They went back further still, through multiple lifetimes where Alice had existed under different names with different bodies. These bodies suffered, struggled and fought. They told Alice that they did this so that she could exist here and now, with the strength and wisdom of many worlds. Then, the final showdown. The density cleared, the clouds parted, and she saw herself. Her real Self. The light that had brought her human self into existence. Her divine connection with the Creator of all things. She was almost blinded by the beauty as waves of white light streamed through her consciousness, spelling out her name…

Auriela

Her name… not as a human but as a Soul.

Of course, Alice thought, I’ve existed in many lifetimes with many names, but my Soul has remained the same throughout them all.

She returned to the physical world feeling stronger. She was armed with higher knowledge and a sense of power born from the knowing of the place she truly called Home. She awoke the next day very aware that she couldn’t continue as she had been. She quickly simplified her life, clearing out everything until it fit into a tiny little car. She gathered some humble savings and she upped and left. Not only the city she was living in, but the entire structure that allowed it to exist. She had no idea of a direction, her only instruction had been to completely surrender to the divine flow that infiltrates all of life, if she could allow it to.

After a lifelong search, Alice felt that she had finally freed herself from the Matrix of Life that others called “reality”. However, freedom came at a high price. The initiation into the life of liberty was not an easy path, but a path of devotion and resilience. Challenges met her at every corner, but she was well trained by now, so she met them with strength. Smokey mirrors showed her the darkest of her shadows, so she met them with love. Life threw her curveballs and tested her faith to the absolute limits, so she responded with flexibility and grace. The more she walked on the path, the more things fell into place. She kept moving, kept searching, for what? She didn’t know, but she knew she wouldn’t miss it. Then one day, she landed. She came upon a place she didn’t want to leave, a place she fondly called Home Mountain. Here, she was surrounded with other people like her, other friends of the Light beings, other humans devoted to their own beautiful Soul. She soon realised, with both sadness and a deeper understanding, that the Alice she had been until this moment no longer existed. So with love, she grieved her, and then she let her go. She knew that the truest parts of Alice would remain with her forever as she continued to grow and transform. She also knew that despite the sadness she felt while grieving the life she had let go of, the path she was setting out on held upon it a sense of truth that she’d always been searching for.

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So here I am, growing and transforming, choosing to relate to myself as Auri, as a Soul. That’s how my new name came about, and since bringing it to the human world, I discovered it has many meanings! For example, in Finnish, ‘auri’ translates to ‘earth’. In Hebrew, ‘ella’ translates to ‘goddess’. Living as an Earth Goddess sounds pretty good to me. I’ll speak more on the meanings of my Soul name later. Ironically though, it’s now clear that the Light Beings were encouraging me to be more human, not more spirit. That is, after all, what I came here to do!

Yes, holding light can be wearisome. To shine light means to illuminate shadows. That of our own and of others. It means rejection, loneliness, and sometimes physical pain. But isn’t that what we signed up for? We didn’t come to the planet of feeling and emotion to hide, resent or shut them down. We came here to experience them, and luckily for us… holding light means abundance too. It means euphoria, health, wealth, joy, pleasure… the list goes on. Suffering is old news. It’s time to experience every magical and uncomfortable moment to the full. No more victim mentality, no more complaining.

Everything around us is a choice that we made, so live it or leave it!

My pledge

As Auri, a Soul, an ‘Earth Goddess’, and a vulnerable human, I forever vow to live a life that is aligned with my truth, not anybody else’s.

I vow to be grateful for all of my experiences, regardless of which emotion they trigger in my body.

I vow to be as much of my free, authentic Self as I possibly can.

May we be reminded that enslavement is NOT acceptable, in any form.

It is our birthright to live a life of pleasure and sovereignty.

We just have to find the audacity within.