Writer's Note: This was written at a time when I had experienced much loss. Since that time, I have lost so much more. So much, that I have had no choice, but to become someone else. Someone stronger. I have learned how to grow through greif and further understand how that translates to other parts of life. And, I have learned how to live again.
***
I was always meant to write this.
This is the moment that all the other moments have led me to.
The final farewell.
The end of the chapter.
The book I was both eager to finish and afraid to end.
But how do you say goodbye?
I have asked myself this question many many times. All of those times have been a time of loss, of grief, the ending of a chapter.
Some of those chapters ended abruptly. With unexpected outcomes. Outcomes that left me in shock. Outcomes that left me in unbearable pain. Outcomes that left me broken and searching for answers.
Searching for a way to ease the pain.
Searching for a way to understand.
Searching for a way to carry on.
Anyone who has ever lost anyone knows the pain I speak of. And no one loss is greater than another. We all love. We all care. We all hurt and grieve.
There is no right way to grieve, and there is no wrong way to grieve.
Albeit, some ways are more “healthy” than others, but of course that’s entirely subjective.
No loss is truly comparable. I can’t compare my loss to yours and say I have lost more. That I hurt more. That I cared more. But I can compare my own experiences to other experiences I have had, and that is exactly what I am going to do.
In grief we find healing.
In avoidance we perpetuate the pain.
I have found that we as humans tend to hold onto the pain. We carry it with us, when we ought to let it go.
Why should we let it go?
Because it hurts us. It’s simple really. We truly ought to let it go.
I know why we don’t though.
Letting go of the pain we carry seems like the easy way out. It’s like saying we didn’t really care. Like it’s easy to move on. It is like we are saying that we forgot.
Forgot the love.
Forgot the person we lost and the place they held in our heart.
Forgot the joy they brought us. The moments that we shared.
It is more common to try to hold on so tightly to those things, than let them go.
I get it. I live it. I hold on too.
If we just hold the memory close, maybe we can feel them near. Maybe we can forget that they are gone. Maybe if only for a moment we can ease the pain.
But that’s just it.
By holding on, we aren’t accepting that everything has changed. We have changed.
We lose a part of ourselves when we lose someone else.
But we don’t talk about that. Or acknowledge that part really. We just carry the pain and extend the grieving process.
Now, not all people use their pain as a badge of loyalty. But some do. And not all people hold onto the person they were before the loss.
This is the hardest part.
Who are you now? Is it really okay to become someone different? Is it okay to love again? Is it okay to move on?
Of course the answer is yes, it is okay to keep living. To keep moving forward. It is okay to thrive and be happy again.
It doesn’t mean that we didn’t care. It doesn’t mean we didn’t love. It doesn’t mean that we forgot.
This is hard to write.
As weird or as lame as that may seem, it is hard to acknowledge that even I, who has experienced quite a bit of loss and upheaval, finds it difficult to give myself permission to move on.
I, who has experience writing out my feelings as a way to cope.
I, who understands death in a way that most do not.
I, who has had my heart broken too many times to count.
I have a hard time moving on.
Though I am fortunate, as a medium, to be able to talk to and hear from the dead, I have a hard time reconciling the loss in this present reality.
For me, death is not the end. It’s not the last time I will “see” or “speak” to them.
It is however, the end of a chapter.
A chapter that I have to grieve.
About the Creator
Jennidoll of (jennidoll.inc)
I am a writer, photographer, and a storyteller. I gain inspiration from the haunted and the beautiful, and the mysterious 'in between'. Music is my Muse and so are all of you. Everyone is a character in my story. Welcome to my storyland.
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Day 4 of Quitting
If this is how sobriety feels, maybe it’s better to go through life a little buzzed… this, along with other hits like, I want to kill myself, I wish I was dead, and I’m going to throw myself off a bridge have been the only thoughts on rotation these past few days. I promise myself that if, in a month, I still feel like this (‘this’ meaning despondent, full of rage, and simultaneously numb) I can go back to smoking. Until mid-February though? Nicotine is off the table.
By sleepy drafts5 days ago in Longevity
Stricter blood pressure guidelines are fueling growing unease among cardiologists, raising concerns about overdiagnosis and treatment
Recent changes in blood pressure guidelines have sparked a quiet but growing unease among cardiologists and healthcare professionals worldwide. As medical authorities lower the threshold for what is considered “high blood pressure,” millions of people may suddenly find themselves classified as hypertensive, prompting new questions about overdiagnosis, overtreatment, and the balance between preventive care and unnecessary medical intervention. The Shift in Blood Pressure Standards For decades, blood pressure readings below 140/90 mmHg were generally considered normal for most adults. However, in recent years, both the American Heart Association (AHA) and other international health bodies have revised their guidelines, lowering the threshold for hypertension to 130/80 mmHg. This change was driven by mounting evidence linking even moderately elevated blood pressure to cardiovascular events such as heart attacks, strokes, and kidney disease. While the intent behind stricter guidelines is clear—catching potential risks earlier to prevent serious health issues—the practical implications are complex. Suddenly, a large portion of the adult population falls into the “high blood pressure” category. In the United States alone, experts estimate that nearly half of all adults would now be labeled hypertensive under the new standards. Cardiologists Sound the Alarm For many cardiologists, the shift raises concerns about overdiagnosis. Dr. Elena Martinez, a practicing cardiologist in New York, says, “We are medicalizing a huge swath of the population who may not have needed treatment before. While preventive care is vital, there’s a real risk of unnecessary medication, side effects, and patient anxiety.” These concerns are not purely theoretical. Blood pressure medications, while life-saving for those with severe hypertension, can cause side effects ranging from dizziness and fatigue to kidney complications. Prescribing them to patients with mild elevations might not always result in a net benefit, particularly if lifestyle interventions could have been sufficient. The Role of Lifestyle Interventions Many experts emphasize that lifestyle modifications—such as regular exercise, reduced sodium intake, weight management, and stress reduction—remain the first line of defense against high blood pressure. The stricter guidelines may push physicians to prioritize early lifestyle counseling, but in practice, patients often expect a prescription as a tangible solution. Dr. Ahmed Khan, a public health specialist, notes, “The risk is that the pendulum swings too far toward pharmacological solutions when, for many, diet and exercise could prevent progression without the risks of medication. It’s a delicate balance that requires careful patient education.” Public Perception and Anxiety Beyond the clinical implications, stricter guidelines can affect public perception of health. Patients newly labeled as hypertensive may experience anxiety, feel stigmatized, or overestimate their immediate risk of serious illness. Mental health impacts are rarely discussed but are an important aspect of overall cardiovascular wellness. Media coverage and public awareness campaigns have also contributed to heightened sensitivity. Headlines emphasizing the dangers of “high blood pressure” may inadvertently increase stress among readers, ironically exacerbating the problem they aim to address. Economic and Healthcare System Pressures The broader healthcare system also feels the strain. More diagnoses mean more doctor visits, lab tests, and medications. Health insurance systems face increased costs, while physicians must spend more time managing cases that may not require intensive intervention. Some healthcare analysts argue that the stricter guidelines, while scientifically justified, could inadvertently prioritize pharmaceutical intervention over holistic preventive care. The challenge lies in implementing guidelines in a way that maximizes patient benefit while minimizing unnecessary medicalization. Finding the Balance So, how can the medical community reconcile stricter guidelines with patient-centered care? Many experts advocate for a nuanced approach: Risk Stratification: Evaluate patients based on overall cardiovascular risk rather than just blood pressure numbers. Factors like age, family history, cholesterol, and lifestyle are critical in deciding whether medication is necessary. Emphasis on Lifestyle: Encourage sustained behavioral changes, with medications as a last resort for mild cases. Patient Education: Ensure individuals understand what their blood pressure numbers mean, the relative risks involved, and the options for non-pharmacological management. Regular Monitoring: Use home monitoring devices and ambulatory blood pressure measurement to reduce unnecessary clinic visits and detect true hypertensive trends. Conclusion The new blood pressure guidelines reflect an earnest effort to prevent cardiovascular disease before it starts. Yet, they also highlight the delicate balance between preventive medicine and overdiagnosis. For cardiologists, policymakers, and patients alike, the challenge is clear: avoid the pitfalls of medicalizing normal variations while ensuring those truly at risk receive timely and effective care. As the debate continues, the hope is that a thoughtful, individualized approach—combining lifestyle interventions, patient education, and careful use of medication—will maximize benefits while minimizing harm. The evolving standards are a reminder that medicine is as much an art as it is a science, requiring judgment, empathy, and adaptability in the face of shifting evidence.
By Fiazahmedbrohi 7 days ago in Longevity
Comments (1)
Amazing...This set a new perspective for writing for me. Thank you.