The power of connection

I once would have described myself as a quiet, awkward introvert. If I had a magic crystal ball, Younger Me would not be able to deal with the difference of who I was then and who I am now, for many, many different reasons. How I could flourish and grow and take up more space being me, and how these things will also help me find more of my people.

And don't get me wrong, I love my introspective, reflective time - quiet time listening to music and processing feelings. But I also love reconnecting with the world and good humans - how this can fill up my cup and give me energy, when I spend time with the right people. And also knowing that not everyone is for me and I'm not for everyone.

After a retreat cracked my heart open, I realised one of my core values is connection and feeling connected to others, in little and big ways. And the irony is that 2 years ago, I realised I'd been on my own island for too long and it was time to expand in new ways, with new faces.

There once was a time when meeting new people would have been a cause of overwhelm and now it feels like a possibility. Being able to be me and connecting with another person who gets my weird and wonderful ways makes me happy. It's life-giving to me. The impact of community and real connection can't be undervalued, especially in today's world of scroll and swipe separation, making us feel like we're more engaged with one another than we are. And that means continuing to expand my circle. Appreciating my soul sister and how open and weird and funny we can be with each other. How I endlessly laugh with another friend I catch up with, but wish we saw more of each other. How I know my childhood best friend is there if we need each other, but we've grown apart. How I always have a good check in with my chiro and laugh at one of my own jokes some time during the appointment, knowing my back isn't the only thing better off when I leave.

I have a couple of amazing friends, but I want to keep expanding my connection capacity. I want friends to love and I also want to fall in love. And it's not out of greed - I'm a quality over quantity kinda gal, but I want a few more friends I know I can call on. For a good chat; to create memories with; to go out dancing last minute; to laugh with; and have each other's back through thick and thin. I want a group of friends I can call over for a random board game night and maybe I'm the connection that brings us all together and maybe some get along better than others and I can't control anything. But it's the laughter over the poorly explained game of cards and how we playfully tease each other and the softness of wanting to lend your friend a quick mill, in the way only fake Monopoly money can provide, that brings about a warm that extends beyond the balmy night.

I'll be expanding my circle by getting more out of my comfort zone. My aim is meeting up with someone new each week - be it a date from a dating app, a friendly coffee catch up or a Zoom hang because Covid reasons and I won't discount wonderful worldwide internet friends. The plan is also connecting with locals and checking out an event together, which will be a way to meet a few new faces at once. I've already gone to a local beach community dip (catch ups are safe and permitted in my area, but know that's not the case everywhere) and introduced myself to two other girls that day. We became Facebook friends, but it seemed like the connection that might end there and that's cool, too. I had two coffee meets ups planned, but they've since been postponed now that we are back in Covid lockdown. But I swiped right on someone who's up for an internet date, so I'm open to staying open and seeing what happens there.

And maybe it's about letting go of expectations, letting things be and just putting myself out there more so I can experience more of life at the same time, whether there's a worthwhile connection or not. But I love the beauty of knowing I'm going to meet people this year that change my life for the better, just as much as I change theirs. How can you not love that?