My life with Eczema

Eczema had a major impact in my life and too often typecast as the role of the bad guy growing up from birth, I suffered with wretched eczema really bad. I mean bad-bad. My skin was rough, chapped and very flaky. It was all over my face, on the back of my hands, the topsides of my forearms, the back of my triceps and the back of my leg joints. Trust me, I had it bad. At times my scratching became unstoppable and as crazy as it seems, sometimes extremely satisfying.

Most nights I would scratch off my back of my legs like lottery cards until I bled. Regularly, I woke up in my morning and skin flakes on the sheet was when I realised this was becoming a concern.

I laugh now but my mum would call me "Crawney Skin" this started my low self-esteem and self-image. She would make me wear silk mittens to bed to halt me from breaking my skin. Mainly the back of my legs was my go-to zone to itch; and often times those mittens would mysteriously shake off in the night and the scratching would continue. Morning showers felt as my self-damaged areas had been doused in antiseptic and would sting. Mum would regularly cut my fingernails and that would help.

Foods like Eggs and Nuts were off the menu; I broke out in horrendous allergic rashes and my itching went into overdrive.

My skin was ashy. Baby Lotions and other “normal” skin creams would either dehydrate my skin real quick or make me want to itch more even whilst applying. This was always a problem because it would absorb within 15-20 minutes. It didn’t cut it for me.

It was a family holiday to Jamaica in 1992 that was a catalyst for my battle against my nemesis that was my largest organ. Whilst there I finally got some much-needed Sun, swam into the Sea although it stung it was different not like before. I remember feeling slightly fearful because normally wetting my skin meant: Dry patches; and I had no lotion and the kids in Jamaica had no filter when it came to telling me about my chapped patches on my legs. I could easily hide it away wearing trousers and get away with it in the UK.

It didn’t take long before my Dad took my hand and showed me a strange looking plant with spiky edges. He dried me off with my beach towel and said: “Sinkle Bible”. I always remembered the 'Bible' part because that’s all my Jamaican Granny used to bang on about The Bible all the time. Dad peeled off the green skin to expose a gooey pungent flesh from this natural plant shaped like a crocodile’s tail. He applied it to my usual suspect areas; crusty hands and ashy joints. It was so cool, so smooth and so soothing that I thought it would take away the eczema.

I later found out that Sinkle Bible was another name for Aloe Vera... and I’ll never forget it.

Mum did everything she could to search for Aloe Vera everywhere - at the time it was an obscure plant to find in the UK, or so we thought but it wasn’t long before a new Chinese Herbal Medicine Store had opened in our town centre. They still didn’t have the Aloe Vera plant but I had to take these tablets and smear some strong scented ointment and I wasn’t impressed so it didn’t last very long. I always told, “I’ll grow out of it”. Sounds funny saying that. I later found out Sinkle Bible was another name for Aloe Vera, this was the best thing I had tried and I'll never forget it.

Mum took me to the GP and I was prescribed new ointments: Alpha Keri Bath Oil; this was a dream, it was light emollient-rich oil that reminded of the wonderful Sinkle Bible and when I tell you it kept my skin supple and moisturised even after coming out of the bath. I still can remember the smell of the Alpha Keri Bath oil. This was also first time I had encountered another prescribed cream called E45; these were the days when you could only get this product on prescription, not like today, where you can now buy it in a high street pharmacy or a supermarket. If you haven’t heard of E45 it basically sounds great on paper; Clinically proven. Check. It is a non-greasy emollient. Check. Treats and soothes dry, itchy, flaky, chapped, rough, calloused, ashy skin, leaving it comfortable and soft. Eureka!

Do you know I cannot for the life of me remember exactly why, but I was prescribed a hydrocarbon-based emulsion called Aqueous; admittedly, this ointment was a lighter, and had promised so much. It was a paraffin substance that felt like I was applying a softer Vaseline to my sensitive skin. I remember my skin being shiny and greasy but not hydrated; I noticed my skin was thinning and when scratching my skin would easily break; I still believe this product ruined my skin. I stopped using Aqueous immediately and went back to using E45.

Growing up black is hard enough but growing up as a black child and suffering from eczema was a complete nightmare. The insecurities ran ten-deep and everything that comes with it such as the constant itching, the parched skin, the worst part was having to hide my chapped flaky skin away from people, away from other children. Children can be so mean but in Secondary School it only got worse. So, if it wasn’t snotty nose kids reviling me because of my crusty hands or chapped leg joints, it was the barrage of teasing and ridicule from antagonistic adolescents with bad body odour. I would sometimes get called flaky. Kids can be cruel. That particular name always made to feel low about my self-image and an intense anxiety never left my body. Even saying it reminds me of the way I was left feeling.

Home-life was never smooth sailing either so anxiety cocktail of sadness and misery would consume me daily (I'll save that for another story). Scratching and itching was my escapism and any stress that came over me would be met by me itching in self-pity, especially when I got tired or irritated.

The doctors once recommended to my mum that maybe I should discontinue dairy products especially Cow’s Milk, she tried me on Soya Milk – I hated the repulsive taste. Once I had it with my favourite Frosted Flakes and I never wanted to try it again. Ever. I went back to using a Cow’s milk with no hesitation; mainly because it was what I was used to and milk tasting of Soy was completely alien to me.

Throughout my GCSEs was a stressful time, my eczema was at its worse point in time, my scratching went into overdrive. I wasn’t caring for it much even when moisturising my skin was the only way to walk to not feel pain from the stiff dryness wounds. Even bending my legs would hurt. I bought into the notion of drinking more Cow’s milk was going to make my skinny legs bigger or fatter as the battle with the teasing and ridicule and with self-image deteriorated. Before and after examinations I was addicted to a famous dairy milk chocolate bar.

It wasn’t until I reached adult age, I started looking into new products for my skin. I must say, although I was tentative to new products and had always stuck with the tried and tested, but decided to put a break from using such tried and tested emulsions as commercials would introduce new skin creams that I would have known before.

Dry skin is always in need of high-quality hydrating ingredients. I looked for products with natural ingredients that were high in avocado, shea butter, jojoba oil which are high in antioxidants, protecting against the environmental causes of dry skin.

Natural ingredients normally means no chemicals, but even water is a technically a chemical. The natural ingredients I choose now have been grown without using herbicides, pesticides, synthetic fertilisers or anything genetically modified. Organic ingredients such as Avocado and Shea Butter are great at protecting the skin against moisture loss, improving the skins ability to lock in that all important hydration. Unfortunately for me, I was allergic to the avocado ingredient so I was back to square one looking for a skincare product but this time without Avocado.

Had I known what I know now, I would saved myself from my eczema suffering. I knew I had sensitive skin, that was a given. My skin needed to be calmed. I wasn't aware that creams or gels existed that could calm, sooth and was non-irritating and would not put my rough skin patches into hyper-panic mode.

Recently I started using a new product with key ingredients which are non-toxic and natural that protects me from moisture loss to my skincare routine. It contains hydrating and skin soothing ingredients, such as Mango Butter for the glow and suppleness, Jojoba oil, Olive butter - that nourishes and softens dry skin and reduces skin irritation, Check. Grapeseed Oil, Gotu Kola - this assists collagen formation, strengthen and support skin. Check. Calendula - this has anti-inflammatory and healing properties and Rose-hip oil. Check. Notably, it is free from steroids, parabens, paraffin, petrochemicals, perfume, artificial colours, sodium laurel sulphate, lanolin, coal tar and mineral oil.

I soon realised that this was the product I had been searching for for years. As well as being natural it was also Vegan, this made me realise that it was what I was eating that was having the effect on me and my skin and my new quest began.