My Diabetes Journey

The Beginning of the Journey

Sometime in 2010 I was diagnosed with Diabetes, Type 2. I was 470lbs, in a size 54 pants, 5xlt shirts and headed for an early, early grave. My fellow employees where I worked were worried about me. I was going to the bathroom at least 3 – 4 times an hour, due to my high sugar I was thirsty all the time. My initial sugar reading (fasting) was 521. Very high. I was shocked, saddened, embarrassed all the adjectives to describe shame. I couldn’t even play with my kids (daughter was 9 son was 5 at the time) because I was always tired and tired easily, always was hurting. Yes, I had become a diabetic.

I remember looking at the Dr. all teary eyed and asked what do I do now? Initially I was put on metformin and another medicine that I can’t remember now and put on a long acting insulin called basaglar. He looked at me and said “here ya go just watch what you eat, see you in a month.” and sent me on my way. I had no clue what to do, how to take the meds, what the meds did etc. I called my mom and told her and she started crying like it was a death sentence (Diabetes was a cause of death in my two grandmothers). Wanting to kick it I started researching the disease and all said the same, you’re stuck with it for life! I thought I had no hope of ever getting better.

About two to three years went by and I was just slightly improved (FBS was at low 300’s now), Lost some weight to be in the low 400’s but still was tired all the time. It was about this time I was put on meal time insulin Humalog. Again I was given it and told “good luck”. No education on the medicine. Asked the Pharmacist and they were not much help. All this time I felt like a failure as a father to my son because I didn’t have the energy or the gumption to throw baseball, football, shoot baskets or anything with him and became secretly very depressed about it. There were time I would sit in my car and just cry over how much a failure I was compared to what my dad did with me. It got to the point where he wouldn’t ask me anymore because he knew I was tired. My daughter wasn’t into sports so we talked a lot and that was great! To this day I still blame myself and am ashamed of myself for being the tired all the time dad my son didn’t deserve.

How did this happen to me? I was a pretty good athlete in HS and stayed active in college and kind of active for years. My playing weight in High school for basketball was between 218 – 225 lbs. Went to college in 1989 and my first two years was 235lbs. Not a bad weight, very active. My last two years kind of threw me a little with beer, alcohol and cheap greasy eats. I ballooned up to 295lbs and started to lift weights and watch my diet and came down to 275lbs. But that was temporary. The beer and pizza, McDonalds, pub foods and more beer had me up to 300lbs really quick. Of course family members told me I was getting fat and mom warned me of the diabetes problem in our family. Also, of course, I denied it and said its ok I’ll lose it quick if I have to.

What I didn’t know is that I was sowing the seeds of bad habits that put me on the path to diabetes. My breakfast turned into McDonalds, Burger king and gas station “quick” breakfast options. These items were extremely unhealthy, full of bad carbohydrates, full of trans fats, saturated fats, sodium etc. I started having the mid-morning crash from the carbo load and supplemented that with cans of Coke and Mt. Dew for the caffeine. Never even thought of the sugar. Then, in 1995, I moved out into the real world from Schuylkill County Pennsylvania to Selbyville Delaware for my job at the time. This is where my problems with food and drink kicked into high gear.

In my first year on my own I went from 300lbs to 325 in a few months with eating Italian, Mexican and fast food takeout every night and drinking soda and beer every night. The eating and drinking went on for a year at least and calmed down in 1996-97. I had a new job and moved to a new place with a new roommate and we had a blast. We ate a lot of single guy stuff like Pizza, Chinese takeout and burgers. I ballooned to 335+. Still wasn’t really concerned with it, I could lose it if I had too.

In 2001 I got married and lost 60lb! My wife at the time got pregnant and due to sympathy, gained it all back plus some. Breakfast at this time was usually eggs and toast when I ate at home. But the fast food junkie I am, kept going to McDonalds, Burger King and Hardees and pigged out on supersize and extra-large meals. My lunch was fast food again. At one point I would eat 4 big mac value meals, large, fries and sodas and all. Diner was pasta or something quick due to having a baby scampering around the house. My habits would only get worse.

2005 we had another child and the family was complete. Eating habits stayed the same but a bit worse. My breakfast habit turned to getting two breakfast item instead of the one value meal. I was getting a value meal plus an extra sandwich to fill me. By 2009 I was over 400 lbs. End of December 2009 my father died from Lupus and, unofficially, Agent Orange. I went into a small tailspin and by mid-2010 I was at my heaviest of 475. Always tired, taking frequent naps and irritated. I was not a good husband or father due to my mood.

The Long Start of the way back

The earliest records I have are from 2013. I remember my initial reading of Fasting Blood Sugar (FBS) was above 400 and my A1C was around 11. My A1C has fluctuated in last ten years pretty much staying above 6.8 for most of the time. My fbs has stayed above 220 for the most part except for a couple of good tests. I have been very confused about diabetes, what to eat, how to eat, what part does weight loss play in it, etc. Confused and still upset I set out to lose weight, had no clue of what a carbohydrate is and how much to have. Dove into doing research and I think I confused myself more.

The research is dizzying. One site has you eating one thing and another site says not to eat it. Read up on different diets, Mediterranean, Atkins, Blood type, Paleo, Diabetic diets were all ones I tried. The Diabetic diet actually raised my sugar! I followed it to a tee. One thing you need, if you live with someone, is another who is dedicated to see you do well and not sabotage (deliberately or not) your goals or progress.

I started buying lean proteins. Chicken, lean beef, Turkey and some Fish (Cod, Haddock, Pollack, Salmon. All ocean caught, no farmed). Also started buying salad greens, spinach, baby kale etc. I was eating more salads, leafy greens and lean proteins where my fats were coming from olive oil and nuts. Things were going very well, and I was losing weight quickly due to the new diet and a light exercise program of walking I was doing. The only problem was support at home was starting to go away. I was bombarded with questions about why I was buying special food for me only, not all of us like this food, why aren’t I loosing like you? I always said that everyone could eat the food I bought; it wasn’t just for me. Soon I just started giving up and going back too old habits and my FBS and triglycerides showed the damage.

Went back to eating high saturated fat foods. Chicken fried steak, fatty meat, mashed potatoes by the shovel full loaded with cream and butter, everything bad. I developed a sever addiction to fast foods of all kinds. I was a regular at McDonalds, Burger King, Hardees and Wendy’s for breakfast, lunch and sometimes diner and a snack. High fat and trans-fat meals filled my day and sometimes night. It was very expensive. It was nothing for me to have two or three double quarter pounders with cheese extra-large meals in a day. I was spiraling out of control.

During my initial diet phase I went down to below 400 lbs. and was feeling a bit better. I was still tired all time but not as much. My breakfast was a normal one with two or three eggs and toast. The only issue was the toast, it was white bread. A big no no for diabetics. My lunch was a good-sized salad with chicken and some seeds. The issue with that, looking back, was the amount of fattening dressing, thousand island, creamy ceaser etc., and the amount of salad. I had a huge container of salad, it would be a whole bag of salad, with so much dressing that I never tasted the salad just the dressing! I thought I was doing well but I was sabotaging myself.

I wasn’t seeing the results I was hoping for, reduced weight and reduced numbers with sugars etc. I did have some unrealistic goals too. After the fact I realized that it is very important to keep goals very realistic. Rome was not built in a day, neither were the pyramids in Egypt. Your goals won’t happen overnight. It will take your dedication and hard work to achieve. One thing to keep in mind during this process is to keep the end goal in focus. Keep it in focus but also be flexible with it. What I mean is if your weight goal is 200 lbs. and you are 215-220 lbs. and you look in the mirror and really like the way you look and how your clothes fit and you feel great, then your there! Goals are great to have but they need to be flexible.

With my weight hovering around 400 lbs., 70 lbs. lower than I started, I decided to really try harder. Toned down my salads a little and ate relatively clean. The weight started to come off me quickly and clothes started fitting better and some even had to be replaced. Life was starting to get stressful with work and money. Stress was building up, but I got down to 355lbs. The issue was that the loss didn’t translate to my diabetes numbers I was FBS of 297, A1C of 9.4 and triglycerides of 877 in April of 2018. Stress and marital issues were driving me to unhealthily issues.

During this time, I started having anxiety attacks and was not sleeping well at all. My body was not efficient at all with converting food to energy and I was very tired and irritable all the time. I had zero energy to play catch with my son, do craft things with my daughter and I was irritated at my spouse all the time. The more I thought of it the worse I felt and they more stress I would create.

I was on the road most of the time for work, I’m an adjuster, so I was back eating badly, stress eating. Because of the lack of sleep and carb crashing I was falling asleep at my desk and, more importantly, falling asleep behind the wheel. God and my father, passed 12/29/2009, had to be with me because I never hit anyone or damaged a car. I did find myself in a grassy median a few times though.

The low point came when I had an anxiety attack while driving. But it wasn’t just one but three! On the New Jersey Turnpike, I had to pull over all three times and the third time I think I passed out for a short time. I went to an emergency center and the Doctor told me straight up that if I kept on going like I was that I was going to have a major issue with my health and possibly die within two years. I wouldn’t see my daughter graduate high school or my son. I had to do something, get away and take a chance. That’s what I did.

The Awakening

Stress was taking me to an early grave with anxiety attacks etc. I ended up making a choice for my health and to be in my kids’ life for the long run and got a divorce. I moved un with family and started on a fact-finding mission to see if i can shed more weight and to shed my medications for Diabetes. It was a daunting task since my Doctors told me I’m on insulin for life and were not really encouraging.

I bought three books on diabetes and diet from three doctors. First, I bought Eat Right for your blood type by Dr. Peter J. D’Adamo with Catherine Whitney. Semi-controversial book for some about how your blood type affects your diet. I am blood type B+. To be short I have some dietary issues with foods I like. Tomato’s I love! But if I eat them everyday my stomach does get a bit acidy and things happen. Turns out a tomato is something my blood type should avoid. Take3 a look at the book and decide for yourself. There are some things that I look at in the book and question some things, but it is a very good read.

Another book I bought was The 30 Day Diabetes Cure by Dr. Stephan Ripinch ND, CNP and Jim Healthy. This book gave me a framework to go on. Lead me to a formal plan on how to eat. I did practice some of the pointers in the book. What to cut out of my diet. I noticed that when I eat a lot of wheat products my legs swell a little and my feet swell. I cut out a lot of the bread and pasta (which killed me, I’m part Italian). Found that it did more for me than just help with swelling. My energy started to perk up after limiting my wheat consumption. I think I was heading on the right track.

The last book I bought was Smart Blood Sugar from Dr. Marlene Merritt, DOM, MS Nutrition. This book really kick started my “recovery” from Diabetes. Carb limits really helped me and basically making all green leafy veggies uncountable for carb consumption. Based on the book I set my daily carb consumption to 60 grams a day. My salads with the spinach and all were not counted into the 60. Basically, you count anything that was not on the allowed list in the book as a carb. It taught me a different way to look at food and how to eat it, how to plan it. If I ever meet the Dr. I will thank her personally for the book. The book has helped me tremendously in my struggle.

So, with the books I had an idea on what to eat. Know I had to learn how to eat. What I mean is that I am a very fast eater. I call it a red-light eater. Meaning that I have food in the car with me cause I’m on the road and eat when I’m at a red light, scarf it down I mean. Did I taste my food? No, No I didn’t. I had it down to eating in two or three bites and swallowing instead of chewing, maybe one or two chews then gulp. Huge bite, chew, gulp, huge bite, chew gulp done was my way of eating. Never really enjoyed food. But help was on the way, little did I realize.

I have a friend that had a gastric surgery and had to relearn how to eat. It was funny (now its funny) but the first time we ate together I scarfed down my food and she looked at me in a surprised manner. She would tell me all the time that I needed to slow down when I eat, take a bite, put the fork down and chew, chew, chew. That was very, very hard for me to do. I have been a fast eater since I was a kid. Always in a hurry to finish and do something else. The issue is that I eat so much so fast that my stomach does not have time to tell my brain that it is full and to stop. I couldn’t stop eating before.

I would eat beyond being full to being stuffed. Pants tight stuffed. That was one of biggest changes in my diet was the way I ate. Conscious effort was made to slow down eating, Chew my food and work on portion sizes. Before, if you put a plate of chicken breasts in front of me and there was 4 people at diner and eight breasts, I would scarf down my first to have a second and or a third. Changing my eating habits took a lot of encouragement from others and a lot of will power. I do believe everyone has this will power in them. You will be surprised at what this one correction in eating behavior will do, chew your food will help you out tremendously!

Along with the dietary changes can a complete change in how I was being treated for my diabetes. I went to a new Doctor November of 2019 and my initial number were the same. My fbs was 270, my A1C was 9.8 and my triglycerides were at 413. We talked in the office for a good half hour. She asked me about my medicines and how I was taking them. She was surprised and what I have been told in the past (basically Nothing). She adjusted my insulins and sat down and told me how to take them! I was both ecstatic and angry. Angry that the Drs before never took the time to discuss my meds with me and talk to me about diabetes. Also, I was sent to a diabetic nutritionist and we had a very good hour and a half chat on what to do. Most of the information I had already read the books I have read above. But, my god, it was all falling into place and this is the first instance that I thought getting off the insulin was attainable. I do remember going to parking lot, getting in my car and crying because my goal was finally in site. Before, I was taking my insulin wrong and I was under prescribed the dose of my long-term insulin. My meal insulin I was taking when I first woke up and do things before, I would eat breakfast in the morning. I found out that the morning insulin (meal insulin) I had a 15-minute window for effectiveness. Meaning, when I took it, I had to eat within 15 minutes for it to work properly. That went for all the other meals of the day. These tweaks in my routine turned out be huge.

The transformation had begun. My new way of eating had started to shed pounds and I could feel the changes with eating healthier. I initially broke out with pimples etc. from all the crap leaving my body, but it mostly cleared up over time. I started doing some workouts at home and I will go through that in another section. I walked around the house many times a day (it was winter and cold) and kept myself from grazing. In February 2020 I got my labs back from the Dr. and we were both impressed. My FBS was 154, A1C was 7.0 and triglycerides were 179. My daily numbers were improving greatly very rarely going above 200. I could feel the improvements too and others took notice.

I moved to the Southwestern United States in March of 2020 and continued my progress. It was nice that I could go for walks everyday due to the temperatures being very mild. I was walking 1 mile at first and worked my way up to 3 miles in less than an hour. I kept my eating habits the same and the weight came falling off. I finally got below 320lbs, then 310lbs, then got stuck on 301 for a few weeks. My diabetic numbers were about to surprise me. In April of 2020 I bought an A1C test from CVS. I took it and it said my A1C was 5.7! My daily numbers were routinely below 125 and I did experience what low blood sugar felt like, it was not good, but I was kind of happy I had it. First, I was low. Then I found out what being low felt like. Dizzy, sweaty, pale and just felt off.

I had lab work done in May of 2020 for my new Doctor out west and I was shocked. My A1C was 5.9, triglycerides were 117 and my FBS was 87! My dr and I were astounded. We tweaked the meds once again and I went on Trulicity. I was on the new medicine for a few days and taking my meal insulin at a lower dose and it happened, a sever low. It was a Friday and my sugar was at 110 before diner and I took 4 units of my insulin before we ate. That diner was pork chops with some mashed potatoes and string beans. Had my one chap with some potatoes and some beans and was done. Went out to the store right after and came back an hour later. I was the master bedroom / bathroom and I started getting dizzy, things were hard to focus on and I started shaking. My partner looked at me and asked why I was shaking and then said you don’t look good, take your sugar. Took it and I was 61! Ate 3 oatmeal raisin cookies and I was up to 99 in half an hour. Called the emergency after hours Doctor and she told me to not take my insulin for the weekend and see how I was doing. I was scared.

Next day I woke up and my fbs was 98, no shock there. Ate my breakfast of two eggs and a 100-calorie whole grain English muffin with butter. After two hours I took my sugar and I was 108! I usually take my sugar before and two hours after every meal. Doing that my sugars did not go above 120 all day. Same thing the next day. In fact, I have not taken insulin since that day. My sugars have been under 125 ever since. Now, am I “cured” of Diabetes? No. Its like being an alcoholic in a way. You may be “clean” but there is always that chance of bingeing on “bad” foods and drink for you. You must stay vigilant on what your eating, drinking, doing for exercise and any trends you see with your bs all the time. It’s a full-time job, but it’s worth it!

Fasting Blood sugar from 2013 to 2020

FBS 87 5/5/2020

FBS 154 2/14/2020

FBS in office 270 11/22/2019

• 297 mg/dL (High), Date: Apr 11, 2018 07:33 a.m. EDT

• 250 mg/dL (High), Date: Jul 25, 2017 08:05 a.m. EDT

• 251 mg/dL (High), Date: Apr 18, 2017 08:12 a.m. EDT

• 298 mg/dL (High), Date: Jun 10, 2016 06:55 a.m. EDT

• 241 mg/dL (High), Date: Oct 08, 2015 06:49 a.m. EDT

• 132 mg/dL (High), Date: Oct 02, 2014 12:35 a.m. EDT

• 187 mg/dL (High), Date: Apr 10, 2014 12:25 a.m. EDT

• 230 mg/dL (High), Date: Jan 10, 2014 11:54 p.m. EST

• 114 mg/dL (High), Date: May 16, 2013 04:11 a.m. EDT

• 262 mg/dL (High), Date: Mar 13, 2013 08:23 p.m. EDT

A1C from 2013 to 2020

5.9 5/5/2020

7.0 2/14/2020

9.8 11/22/2019

• 9.4 % (High), Date: Apr 11, 2018 07:33 a.m. EDT

• 8.7 % (High), Date: Jul 25, 2017 08:05 a.m. EDT

• 8.2 % (High), Date: Apr 18, 2017 08:12 a.m. EDT

• 10.3 % (High), Date: Jun 10, 2016 06:55 a.m. EDT

• 8.5 % (High), Date: Oct 08, 2015 06:49 a.m. EDT

• 6.8 % (High), Date: Oct 01, 2014 11:57 p.m. EDT

• 7.4 % (High), Date: Apr 10, 2014 04:39 a.m. EDT

• 8.1 % (High), Date: Jan 11, 2014 12:01 a.m. EST

• 9.4 % (High), Date: Mar 13, 2013 11:53 p.m. EDT

Triglycerides 2013 to 2020

117 5/05/2020

179 2/14/2020

413 11/22/2019

• 877 mg/dL (High), Date: Apr 11, 2018 07:33 a.m. EDT

• 500 mg/dL (High), Date: Apr 18, 2017 08:12 a.m. EDT

• 744 mg/dL (High), Date: Jun 10, 2016 06:55 a.m. EDT

• 492 mg/dL (High), Date: Oct 08, 2015 06:49 a.m. EDT

• 290 mg/dL (High), Date: Oct 02, 2014 12:46 a.m. EDT

• 274 mg/dL (High), Date: Apr 10, 2014 12:54 a.m. EDT

• 533 mg/dL (High), Date: Jan 11, 2014 12:12 a.m. EST

• 349 mg/dL (High), Date: Mar 13, 2013 08:23 p.m. EDT

Food, eating and exercise

As I mentioned before, I changed my eating habits and what I ate. I went from fast food junkie, high saturated fat foods and sweets to salads, higher fiber foods, lean proteins and more veggies and greens. My typical breakfast is 2 whole large eggs and one large egg white fried in Pam or any other cooking spray or olive oil, over easy with black pepper, curry powder and granulated garlic. I pair that with a Thomas 100-calorie whole grain English muffin and a pat of butter each side. I use the whole grain 100 calorie due to the fiber it has. I do put a bit of ketchup on the eggs but also have done salsa, salsa Verde or avocado salsa. I like the variety of the topping or you can just have them plain. The muffins I love the crunch of the toasted muffin along with the taste of the butter, especially when it soaks into the muffin a bit. I will have some brewed green or black tea with it or some lemon water. Fills me up and keeps me going. But remember, eat a protein and add a high fiber carb. They make pancake mixes now and frozen ones that are high fiber and protein, just be careful on serving sizes. It works for me but find what works for you.

My Lunch is usually a salad. But its not just a boring lettuce salad. I use a spinach, baby kale, baby chard mix or baby spinach. To not overdue the dressing I mix the greens with either the dressing (careful on store bought dressings and look at the carb counts) or Olive oil and vinegar in a separate bowl, like salad works. I found that doing this really cut down on my dressing usage and the recommended olive oil serving, tbl spoons, is good enough to coat all the lettuce in 2 hands full of greens (you could do less if you want). Then I use bacon crumbles I get from either Costco, BJ’s or Sam’s club, 2 tbl spn and mix it through to coat again. I sometimes put in shredded chicken I make in my InstaPot or cut up roast beef from the deli (I get the store made roast beef or roast turkey. Cheese is optional, if you want sprinkle some on and if you don’t, don’t use any. I use a normal sized bowl for the salad to plate it. After its in the bowl I sprinkle some Hemp Hearts on top for a plant-based protein boost. They give a great nutty flavor too the salad and are sold almost everywhere.

Diner for me is a protein, veggies and either more veggies or a starch. We do have some fried foods every now and then and that’s ok. We don’t have it every day and I don’t pig out with it. It is how they say that moderation is they key to everything. If we have chicken, I have one breast, a spoonful of maybe rice or corn and a spoon full of veggies. That’s it. The plate method it is called, and it does work. Now for snacks, if needed, I’ll have some nuts, some roast beef or roast turkey. Some sort of protein or non-starchy vegetable or even some dark chocolate. You don’t need to sacrifice things you like, like pizza, ice cream and sweets. Just need to be very careful on quantity of what you have. Instead of 4 slices of Pizza have two, three scoops have 1.5. As I said, I changed my eating habits and I have to say that I could not even think of eating like I used to. Thinking of the fast food breakfast I had turns my stomach and is very unappealing to me. The only fast food I can eat is a soft taco from taco bell or street food vendor tacos. It is a lifestyle change. So, when you’re at the cookout, have the potato salad, the macaroni salad, hot dogs, hamburgers (you can skip the buns), baked beans and the cake or pie, just have a smaller piece. Have a beer but just one. You can still have fun even with diabetes.

My exercise routine at first, I was in a Planet Fitness and I did one exercise per body part of resistance training. Make sure you use weights that will challenge you. As you will see, your number will improve as you build muscle and NO you won’t get bulky or get “big”. If you don’t have the money for a gym membership you can do exercise at home. Wall push-ups, bed crunches and squats (go as far as you are comfortable) are great to do in a super-set. When I started, I did a set of wall push-ups, squats, bed crunches and bed leg raise. Did that one after another for 3 sets, a small rest between super-sets and it worked very well. When I had some money, I got an exercise band kit to give some resistance training. I got mine on Amazon for 36 dollars. As far as gyms are concerned, Planet fitness is by far a great choice price wise and quality wise. You won’t feel intimidated there because there are people there just like you. Plus, it’s a no judgement zone. Gaining muscle in your body from your large muscle groups, legs, back, chest will help you burn sugar in your system. Muscles will use the glucose as fuel at first. When you start paying attention on what you are eating you will eat less stuff that will flood your system with carbohydrates and glucose so then the body will start to burn fat.

The bottom line for better health with lowering blood sugar and weight is eat high quality foods – lean protein, non-starchy veggies, low fat dairy, nuts, some beans and quality fats. Eating these must be in a calorie deficit. If you need to 3000 calories a day to maintain your current weight, eat 2500 calories a day for a week or two then cut down to 2250 and see how you feel. Remember, 100 calories of nuts is way less food than 100 calories of green veggies, some berries, some good fruits. Ask your Doctor on the GI index and what it is for and how to use it. Plenty of apps on the phone with either android or iPhone formats. Track your food. I use MyFitnessPal app. I like it and it generally has the foods in their system, so you don’t have too manually enter them. You CAN DO IT!

I’m off my insulin right now. Looking to get off the Trulicity soon and then metformin. I’ve been a diabetic for about 10 years now. It has gone basically unchecked for most of that time. Several health issues have popped up for me because of my diabetes. My kidneys have improved but are damaged. The sugar in my blood has damaged them and maybe my liver. One thing that happens to some men with diabetes is E.D. (erectile Dysfunction) and yes it has happened to me. Some treatments have worked somewhat but not anymore. I am looking into some other treatments that are non-invasive, but they do cost some money. I couldn’t talk about it at all for the longest time, but it must be discussed. It’s ok to talk about it, it happens to men. Please men, talk to your Doctor about it. If they blow you off, as mine did at first, be persistent with them do research and do the treatment that best for you.

Final Thoughts

Never be ashamed of what is going on with you. That goes for your mental and physical health. Talk to your spouse, best friend, mom, dad, whoever. Seek professional help if you’re in a dark place and feel like you’re all alone. Don’t keep it to yourself, it will eat at you, mess you up mentally and cost you a marriage, friendship etc. YOU CAN DO THIS! You will do this! Have faith in yourself and just remember that sometimes you will have setbacks, accept them and start again. Good Luck!