I Joined A Monastery

For years I have been tempted by the swelling glow of Buddhism, and the eternal peace and hippy-lifestyle it seems to bring to those who follow it. And after my most recent existential crisis where I determined I was in fact a psychopathic narcissist, I decided that now was the right time.

This place is in the middle of nowhere. Like, miles and miles from any form of civilization- no joke. After getting lost several times, and entirely giving up on my phone for consistently asking me to drive through a hedge, I eventually spotted some humans, waving blue lanterns at me. I loved it already.

I was ushered into the tightest driveway I have ever encountered, and immediately switched off my roaring JLS music as my new friends helped me to park. I was given an explanation as to what happened during the hour and a half I was about to spend at the monastery, but my adrenaline was too high to remember even half of what I was told. Not a great start.

I followed a group of Thai students into the meditation room, which faced onto the most glorious display of Buddha statues I have ever seen (or at least in England anyway). There were miniature Buddhas and big Buddhas and life-like Buddhas that I was sure were watching me. It was all very exciting really.

As a pretty novice 'meditator', I subtly glanced around the room to see what everyone else was doing. I shuffled awkwardly onto a cushion on the floor, and flicked through a booklet in a language I could only assume was Sanskrit. But I couldn't speak Sanskrit. Oh dear.

Then, all of a sudden, my new roommates started to bow! Bringing their hands together and touching their heads to the floor, then falling back into a silent trance. Was this something I was supposed to do? Was I supposed to be copying them? I sat twiddling my thumbs awkwardly as I debated whether I would be fake bowing if I went ahead with it, after all, it was my first time. And in the end I decided against it, and closed my eyes and began to meditate.

Meditating is a complex procedure. You either spend the entire time beating yourself up and give yourself a headache, or over-relax and accidentally fall asleep. I achieved both. I have been practicing every day since the first time I went, and I think (hope) that I am getting slightly better at it...

My absolute favourite thing about the group session however, was the uncontrollable stomach growl/squeal that came from my right, which very nearly had me wet myself with internal laughter. Awkward situations, are, after all, some of the best experiences in life.

Then the monks came in! It was so strange to see these fully-grown men barely covering themselves with orange cloth, bare-footed in the freezing cold room. After some more bowing (I gave in this time), everyone started talking in this bizarre language that I just could not pick up. I desperately flicked through the pages trying to figure out where we were reading from, or what we were reading, but gave up, and made noises when certain familiar vowels popped up instead. We did some more meditating, and then we were given a lesson, as we are every Monday and Friday that these sessions occur.

Now, that is why I want to be a Buddhist.

Because it isn't about the religion- in fact, some followers encourage not referring to yourself as a 'Buddhist' because it is not the label we follow at all, but the selfless teachings. The whole Buddhist lifestyle, if you like, is about filling yourself with love, and giving it to others- without feeling attached to people as such.

It truly is a fascinating concept.

I would recommend Buddhism to anyone looking for a bit of a shift in character, attitude, personality, or whatever you feel isn't quite 'right' about you. (Of course, the secret is that everything is already right, it's just about finding the power to unlock it).

This path has so far really opened my eyes up to the truth about caring for others. Not because it's right or because society tells you to, but because you can.

And I kid you not, you are not the only one who will benefit from this emotional transformation...