How Yoga Has Helped Me Manage Chronic Fatigue

Shortly after my fortieth birthday something changed in my body! I couldn’t identify what was wrong but I knew that something was just not right. I was living in Australia and I was fitter than I had ever been. I was running fifty kilometers a week, lifting weights, cycling, and doing BodyCombat. My body was a temple and I treated it as such, putting almost no sugar into her, very little alcohol, didn’t smoke or take drugs, and got a good eight hours of sleep each night.

In other words, I was a picture of physical health.

What I haven’t mentioned, however, was the stress I was under, probably because I didn’t realize I was stressed. I was working two jobs part-time as I put myself through university full-time. I was also volunteering in aged care, trying to manage a new relationship, hang out with friends, and to top it off, had just moved for the third time in under two years. Not able to rent a home on my own with a student’s limited wages, I had to rent rooms in other people’s homes which kept falling through after a few months due to circumstances beyond my control.

As I pushed myself to keep going, my body pushed back and eventually put her foot down with a hard “No!” I was beside myself and unsure what to do, so I began a series of doctor’s visits to figure out what was wrong. I had my blood taken so many times I felt like a pin cushion, I had cardiograms, blood pressure checks, and was tested for pretty much every disease imaginable.

I was stumped and my doctor at that point decided I was a hypochondriac.

Whenever I think of this moment, I go back to that heartbreaking scene in an episode of Golden Girls where Dorothy went through the same only to be told that she, too, was imagining everything. It turned out that she had chronic fatigue syndrome (CFS) — something new and undiagnosable at the time. It is to the exclusion of everything else that this new condition could be diagnosed and I was nearing this point.

I decided to change doctors and began seeing a lovely man who treated me with kindness and referred me to a sleep apnoea specialist. Again, I was spoken to with compassion as I was gently asked a series of questions before a full examination. The specialist came to the conclusion that I wasn’t suffering with sleep apnoea, instead diagnosing me with burnout and clinical exhaustion. Not hard to figure out now looking back, but it was a complete shock to me then.

What followed was years of ups and downs with my levels of fatigue. A few months after my diagnosis, I couldn’t even run a few steps without having to rest. I was distraught as my exercise regime was the only constant in a life that seemed to be steadily changing on me. I had simply broken my body. Unable to fully accept the condition, I entered into a viscous cycle of rest and recouperation, only to begin pushing myself again as soon as I started to feel stronger.

I went on like this for a few years.

It is now eight years, six countries, and a whole heap of stress later, and after a hint from another doctor in 2017, a debate has been raging in my head: do I have mild Fibromyalgia or chronic fatigue syndrome, possibly adrenal fatigue? I have no idea and have stopped trying to label it, merely managing it as best I can. Whatever it is, it has been both a blessing and a curse. The blessing is that I have been forced to slow down which has caused me to notice more. I appreciate more now and I pay attention to small “insignificant” things that never sprang into my consciousness before.

Unable to run, weight lift, or jump around like the Duracell bunny on steroids, kicking imaginary people as I sweat out a BodyCombat session — all forms of exercise that I adored — I turned to more gentle forms of body movement, walking and yoga. I hated yoga when I first started as it is deceptively difficult, and even after five years of practicing, I still wish the session to be over as soon as it starts. About twenty minutes in, however, my body starts to loosen up and fall into the beauty of the practice. I feel it letting go of the stress of the preceding days and by the end of each session, I’m feeling much better and grateful that I persevered.

Being a digital nomad whilst managing chronic fatigue has been challenging. Hauling bags on and off trains and buses, running for connections, sleeping in different beds, as well as having to move when I really don’t want to has been difficult. Without yoga I honestly don’t believe I would be handling it as well. There are times where I can’t practice for a few days due to travel conditions and I find myself craving the movement. When I do yoga I do so with the intention of not only moving my body, but also calming my mind and invigorating my spirit.

The benefits of hatha yoga are far greater than many realize: it increases flexibility, releases tension, uses your body weight to strengthen muscles, uses poses to lengthen muscles, continually moves the head above the heart and vice-versa to increase heart rate and blood flow, calms the mind and central nervous system, expands and creates space within the body and mind, massages the internal organs for improved function, releases emotions, perfects posture, protects the spine, improves balance, improves focus, increases the quality of sleep, calms and improves digestion, and eases pain.

As I have become more comfortable and conditioned to the poses, I have learned to maintain ujjayi breath, which is an audible inhale and exhale through the nose whilst restricting the throat slightly. I align my movement to my breath, following each inhale and exhale with deliberate shifts in position, and it is in this breathwork that I often find my proverbial pot of gold. A few conscious breaths are the quickest way to bring stillness and peace into my mind and I find myself engaging in ujjayi breathing when I am in a stressful situation or a little overwhelmed.

Managing chronic fatigue is a 24/7 job and there is no reprieve from it. I try to minimize sugar, alcohol, bad carbs, and rest when I can. However, when I travel, which is five or six months out of the year, it can be a little more challenging to maintain my good behaviour.

The one commitment that I keep, though, is practising yoga, and God willing, this will never change!