From Bangkok to Phuket!

I have been writing about dreams a lot lately.

Eating late at night and watching horror movies is a lethal combination. It sets the stage for the worst of nightmares. This one was so vivid and real, I woke up with a new lease on life. Sometimes, dreams are where our answers lie.

In one single moment, my life changed. I became fragile, broken like eggshells, scattered and lost in the translation of a frightened void of nothingness. It only took a few words, but I felt planted in a turmoil of delicate emotions that left me to swim or drown. One minute the sun shone bright, the next, I became lost in a sea of faces, some kind, some caring and others stoical, uncaring and unreadable.

"You have maybe six months to live". Diagnosis Death delivered my sentence.

I was offered death. Yet somehow from this dissonant echoing fog of despair and doom, I decided to live. I would not spend my last days sunken in self absorption and melancholy.

I went home and got sodding drunk, woke up with a Phuket of a headache, and decided, blast it all, something has gotta give.

Somewhere, I had read that I should add eggshells to my plants. They contain calcium and minerals, essential nutrients that help plant growth. The shells are made up of approximately 96% calcium carbonate, which helps strengthen plant cell walls and moderate soil acidity. Eggshells also contain phosphorus, magnesium, potassium, zinc, iron, and manganese.

Sounds like I need those nutrient as much as the plants do. Right!

There, within my self-imposed eggshells, I would find the ingredients to heal my mind and nurture my soul.

I began to concoct the recipe for life and not death. If I could harness the life giving force of these shells, could I not grab life by the cojones and squeeze every ounce of time from it, live forever. My broken body could take root in the nutrients, become stronger, eventually blooming bright as my petals unfurled.

What am I babbling about? Ok, I will tell you. Remember, this all happens in my dream!!!

Last year, my doctor told me that I had six months at most to live. Terminal, get your affairs in order. It's the brain, you have mistreated it long enough, it won't support your dangerous lifestyle any longer. Not what he said, but what I chose to hear. I should have gotten a second opinion, always get another point of view, it may save you grief.

After a week of feeling sorry for myself, I decided to quit my job, cash in all of my finances, give up my tiny, lonely apartment and go live a lot. My bucket list got updated.

Bucket list from Bangkok to Phuket, Thailand.

uno. Quit the soul-sucking job

dos. Cash out, liquidate

tres. Facial, mani, pedi, spa

quatro. New wardrobe, go all out

cinco. The hills are alive with the sounds of music/ Dream vacation Austria

seis. Bangkok, France, Italy, Caribbean, African safari- world is my oyster

siete. Bungee jumping

ocho. Horseback riding on the plains

nueve. A week on the mountain in Tibet doing karate/meditation

diez. Whatever comes what may

Phuket!!!!!

Zia, my nightmare alter ego, had always played it safe, was practical, cautious, and measured in her ways, often setting her own desires aside for the stability of a nine-to-five job. One chilly December afternoon changed all of that, she now felt fueled by a new urgency to truly live.

With nothing left to lose, Zia set forth on a journey of self-discovery and adventure. She left behind the comfort of her meticulously arranged apartment for the allure of the unknown, beginning her odyssey in the vibrant streets of Bangkok, Thailand.

In Bangkok, Zia immersed herself in the lively night markets and the tranquil temples. She tasted street food that tantalized her taste buds and made friends with locals who taught her about Buddhism and the art of living in the moment. One of those friends, a monk named Kavi, helped Zia recognize the beauty in simplicity and the peace found in acceptance.

From Thailand, Zia traveled to the tranquil rice terraces of Bali, Indonesia. She spent her mornings practicing yoga on a cliffside, overlooking the vast Indian Ocean, and her afternoons engaging in art therapy, creating colorful masterpieces inspired by her surroundings. In Bali, she learned to express her emotions through painting and found solace in the rhythmic waves of the ocean.

Her next stop was the vibrant city of Marrakech, Morocco, where the labyrinthine souks and aromatic spices filled her senses. She joined a caravan that crossed the golden sands of the Sahara Desert, where the boundless skies made her feel both insignificant and infinite. Under the twinkling blanket of stars, she shared stories and songs with fellow travelers, realizing that connection was the heart of existence.

In the Italian countryside, Zia discovered the joy of slow living. She stayed in a rustic villa in Tuscany, harvesting olives and making wine with local farmers. The simplicity and generosity of their lives filled her with a sense of belonging she had never felt before. Here, she understood that life’s greatest pleasures often lay in its simplest moments.

Her final destination was the ethereal landscape of Iceland. Zia bathed in the soothing hot springs, hiked through breathtaking fjords, and watched the Northern Lights dance across the sky. In this land of fire and ice, she reflected on her journey and the incredible experiences she had embraced. She felt a profound gratitude for the opportunity to have lived a life rich in experiences, love, and self-discovery.

Zia’s journey was not just about the places she visited but about the transformation she underwent. She had lived more in those six months than she had in her entire lifetime, proving that it’s not the length of time we have but what we do with it that truly matters. Finally, she had found her courage, spontaneity, and the relentless pursuit of what it means to be truly alive.

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Zia stood at the edge of the world, the wind whipping through her hair as she gazed at the horizon. The diagnosis had been a cruel twist of fate, a brain tumor with a six-month expiration date. She had felt the weight of her mortality pressing down on her, and in those dark moments, a burning desire for revenge had flickered in her heart. Revenge against the universe, against the doctors, against the unfairness of it all.

But as she embarked on her world bucket list adventure, something began to shift within her. Each new place she visited, each new experience she embraced, chipped away at the anger and resentment. She swam with dolphins in the crystal-clear waters of the Maldives, hiked the rugged trails of the Andes, and marveled at the ancient wonders of Egypt. With every step, she felt a sense of liberation, a newfound appreciation for the beauty and fragility of life.

When she finally returned home, she sought a second opinion, hoping for a miracle but bracing for the worst. The news was nothing short of astonishing: she was perfectly healthy. The tumor was gone, as if it had never existed. Zia's heart swelled with gratitude, and she knew she had been given a second chance.

Now what!!! Zia asked the universe, standing beneath the stars of the moonlit beach near her new apartment, savoring her new found blessing. Finally, she had paid down the last of her savings on that loft that she had always wanted. Zia would write, paint, and pursue all of the arts which she had put on hold.

Instead of seeking revenge, she chose to reflect and celebrate. She spent quiet moments in her garden, savoring the scent of blooming flowers and the warmth of the sun on her skin. She reconnected with loved ones, sharing stories of her travels and strengthening the bonds that had been strained by her illness.

Awake and with a renewed perspective on life, Zia set new goals and dreams. She decided to pursue a career in photography, capturing the world's beauty through her lens. She took up painting, allowing her creativity to flow freely onto the canvas. And she continued to travel, exploring new destinations with a sense of wonder and excitement.

Through it all, Zia remained vigilant about her health, attending regular check-ups and maintaining a healthy lifestyle. She knew that her second chance (albeit, a dream) was a precious gift, and she was determined to make the most of it.

Zia's journey became one of exploration, gratitude, and a new respect for the human spirit. She had faced her darkest fears, emerged stronger, and found a new purpose in life. And as she stood at the edge of the world once more, she felt a profound sense of peace, knowing that she had truly lived.

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She is now truly awake!