Finding Out That I Have Dyslexia at 25

Well, when I was in school I was always treated like my fellow classmates. My teachers were usually very short and rude to me along with my fellow peers who struggled with learning. Whenever I asked, "What's wrong with me?" my teachers would tell me that I'm slow. What does that mean? A turtle is slow. It was very frustrating being in special ed, and not one person could tell what was wrong with me other than the fact that I struggled in math, science, and with some writing. I hated it when it was time it to take a test. The special ed students and I had to follow the aid, and go to their room to take the test. The only thing that I needed was more time on tests that was all I needed, but of course, my teachers felt that they knew me better than how I learn and that was extremely frustrating to have someone tell me that they knew me better than how I knew myself. It just got to the point that I didn't bring it up anymore, and of course, I was bullied quite a bit and that made school nearly impossible to go to.

It's always been tough for me to do work. Don't get me wrong, I'm a hard worker, I just learn differently, and when I was in college, at the age of 25, I found out that I'm dyslexic. I was like finally, but fast forward five years and I've been seeing a counselor and she suggested that I may also have autism. I'm socially awkward, loud noises freak me out, and dealing with people and money is so tough for me, so I'll be getting some testing done to make sure why I function differently and why can't I just stop it. Believe me, if I could I would, but I can't, I'm so tired of being told to "just stop it" or "it's in your head you'll be fine." I want to be normal so bad, but I freeze when I'm at work. I have to deal with people and handle the money and that freaks me out so much.

I'm currently taking online classes and I would rather deal with learning in that environment, even though I filled out accommodation forms for learning disability I just wish that when I filled out the part extra time box when taking tests, I didn't think about adding more time for quizzes. It's not all bad though.

It's still tough to explain to people, and I'm not sure how many people told me to just get over it. I can't, my brain is wired differently, and I'm glad that I'm not like anyone else. I'm glad that I have dyslexia because I'm not like everyone else. I think differently and I learn differently. I can't imagine my life without dyslexia. Sure, it's tough having it, but it's another thing that's me and I'm glad that I'm different. I'm starting to accept the fact that I have a learning disability, and it's not a bad thing to have a disability. That's not such an ugly word.