Fat girl Losing it pt1

As I write this, I am sitting at about 360lbs, not my highest, and thankfully I have a Dr. who is working with me and listening to me. I have had my struggle with Drs. I was close to this weight, maybe a little less a few years ago when I tripped and broke both of my feet. I needed reconstructive surgery if I ever wanted the chance to walk again, and that was a slim chance as it was. I gained close to 20-30lbs in the months I was confined to the wheelchair, between lack of movement and depression, it is no surprise I gained that.

A year later, I went into a new Dr. (The Dr. as the low cost clinic in my area, who I loved, had moved away to be closer to her family, so the clinic was rotating through Drs.) the whole point of my appointment was to just get a refill on my ridiculously high Thyroid medication. The Dr. took one look at me and told me she wants me to see a dietician. I explained to her that I had already seen the clinics dietician, and I did not like being shamed for eating anything, being put on a less than 1kcal diet, and told to drink in public vs. going to lunch with a dear friend and having a glass of wine with my salad. The Dr. ignored me and continued going off about seeking the dietician, agreed to draw my blood for the thyroid test, and continued to berate me about my weight. She told me,

"At your weight, if you get any kind of injury in your lower extremities, you will never walk again."

I looked her square in the eye's and said, "Funny, if you look at my medical records right there, you will see about a year ago, I broke both feet to the point of reconstruction."

"OMG how did you get in here??"

"duuhhh I WALKED." I grabbed my stuff and walked out.

The next day, I got a call from the clinic, I was still fuming, and the nurse told me that they got my referral for the dietician and would like to make the appointment, I asked about my medication,

"Oh, you were supposed to have a prescription?"

"Yes, I have Hypothyroidism, and my whole appointment was just to get a refill."

"I do not see anywhere on the notes of a refill being put in, or a new prescription, just the dietician referral."

I went off, I demanded to have an appointment with the Drs. supervisors, and wanted my meds. The nurse agreed with me, and said she would call me back shortly. I saw the supervisor later in the week, got my meds and filed a formal complaint against the Dr. who very much just fat shamed me the whole time.

So that being said, I am not a stranger to Fat Shaming Drs. So when I actually got a Dr. to listen to me, it was amazing. Turns out my Thyroid medication was too high, and I learned about the other levels that most Drs. wont even test. She got me on 2 medications and fiddled with levels till we had a good one, and the final diagnoses of Hashimoto's and my Hypothyroidism. By this point, my Dr. had me at a gluten free diet for about a year due to a mild allergy, and it worked out great, being as gluten also does not pair with Hashimoto's. My Dr. has since then given me a couple medications and supplements that has helped me start losing some weight, and feel so much better.

Things I wish I have heard from Doctors.

1. "Wow, looks like you have lost some weight since I last saw you."
2. "Wow, you are looking good since the last time."
3. "What are you doing since the last time? Your skin looks great, and you don't look as tired!"
4. "Its great to see you! How have you been?"
5. "You look happy! I love seeing that."

These are things my current Doctor have said to me, and it means so much.

My Current Challenge

So now, I am working on losing more. I have a mix of Mini goals and Big goal, I feel this is a good thing, as the mini goals keep me going with senses of accomplishment, and big goals give me things to push for. So lets get into this...

Current:

• 360ish lbs
• workout: maybe 1x a week
• eating junk a lot
• drinking junk a lot
• not enough regular activity
• tired

Mini Goal's

• hit 350
• hit 340
• hit 330
• hit 320
• hit 310
• Need to buy new work clothes
• Not battle sugar addiction
• bike easier
• better sex

Big goal's

• Hit 300
• Hit 250
• hit 199
• be comfortable in a 2 piece suit
• Be able to purchase and wear cute dress shoes easily.
• bike to and from work
• mind blowing sex

Struggles

• Feet
• energy
• time
• I work full time, starting college in a couple months as well
• drive

As you can see, I have a lot of excuses to battle. But I will overcome! Follow my Journey, as I journal about it!