Ethics of Empathy

Empaths can in their most basic sense feel the energy around them. The easiest energy to read is other people. Empath has become a “cringe word” for me in the new age community. Even as I personally identify as an empath, I dislike the usage. It has become synonymous with victim. The articles of how to manage being overwhelmed. How we are all destined to be abused. How we must tolerate our lot in life because we are such special beings of light. Earth angels in the flesh. They do a disservice to us and to the magickal community at large. So, I decided to break it down, this is my opinion. You can agree or disagree hopefully it gives you food for thought and starts a discussion.

Let’s start at the beginning. So, you think you are an empath. You can feel when your neighbor is agitated, and large groups are exhausting. I am not here to dispute the validity of one’s empathic abilities. If you identify as an empath you are one. So, let’s talk about the difference between being an empath and having empathy. Everyone (with some small exceptions) has empathy. Basic human connection demands empathy. We are pack creatures meant to work together to achieve goals and exist in the world, we developed it for survival. It works beautifully.

Basic empathy is the little stuff. Knowing when your partner or close friend is agitated. It usually extends to your close family and friends or co-workers. People you spend time with regularly. Most importantly you care about their discomfort. You desire to help alleviate their pain and you share in their joy. This is basic human things. You can and will still get overwhelmed, overstimulated and need a break from other people’s emotions. Self-care is still essential and should be used regularly not just when you feel overwhelmed.

So, when does basic empathy become being an empath? When you are an Empath you can feel what people feel, not necessarily just those close to you, you feel it as your own. For example, walking through the grocery store and suddenly you just become angry, sad, and happy all at the same time. Emotions become colors and you are swimming in a sea of them. They flow through you, become you, and if you don’t know how to swim you can drown. I believe everyone can develop their empathy skills to this level. Most people do it on accident. A trauma over a period can cause someone to develop the skill. Some people are genetically predisposed. Some people train their mind to help people, counsellors and nurses use this skill regularly in their work. However your ability came to you its yours. Being an empath is a skill. It is spoken of in a way that frames us as victims. This is troubling as it doesn’t show people how to use their skills and more importantly how not to use their skillset.

There are ethics to consider as an empath. You are allowed access to peoples most private thoughts. To their pure emotion. Maybe they don’t want to share that information with you. Until we live in a world where humans are taught emotional intelligence, we will be generally slapped in the face with other peoples every emotional response. Its our ethical responsibility to allow that emotion to pass by and not to analyze it or pick at it. Not everything demands a response from us.

The most important thing I want you to think about as an empath is that your ability to feel other people can be extended to feel everything. This is where magic starts. You can manipulate the world around you. This includes people. This isn’t something that we hear a lot. It’s a taboo discussion in the community but its true and ignoring it isn’t going to make it go away. Ignoring what you can do as an empath means you cannot control it and that is not only irresponsible but unethical.

You can use empathy for so many powerful things. Soothe pain, ease the transition from life, assist with childbirth. We can take the darkness from someone and turn it into light or even pure nothing. Doing these things is wonderful. Being empowered in our empathy is what turns our skill into a gift.

We CANNOT develop our gift if we are constantly living in the mentality that we will always be the victim of other people’s emotions. That this burden is something we alone can understand. That we must spend our lives overwhelmed and afraid. Being afraid forces our skill to always be on the defensive and limits us. We are not always the victim; some empaths are abusers. I know its not something we discuss but being an empath isn’t a guarantee of morality or ethics. This is what makes our societies view of empaths so dangerous. We have a conditioned belief that “if they can feel with us, they wouldn’t want to hurt us because it also hurts them”. This is just sometimes not true people are all different. Point blank Some empaths are assholes. Until we begin having an open and honest discussion about these things we will not develop. The practical everyday applications of our skillset and the deeper spiritual knowledge we could learn about universal connection will remain lost to us.