Dear 2020

Dear 2020

You suck. The year started off nicely, but slowly turned into a disaster. This year was supposed to be my year. Senior year, the best year of High School, but instead it wasn't.

When 2020 began, I had friend kill herself within the first two months. Tell me how that is fair? How is it okay to lose someone in the supposed "best time of High School." It was her freshman year, the beginning of her life, but yet...you allowed her to take it away.

You only got worse from there. You brought a virus into the world. A virus that spread a killed so quickly, none of us were expecting it. Quarantine took so many more lives, but you could care less. The darkness on perceived to get darker while the days passed. My school was shutdown, I really only had work to look forward too, but you took that away too.

I was not able to walk across the stage, my diploma was mailed to me. No senior prom, no more senior days, the satisfaction of working for so many years, building yourself up to make something amazing, was easily snatched out of my hands. The feelings of walking across the stage, knowing you did it, after you were told you could never do it, you did, but I wasn't allowed to experience that. I looked at the piece of paper in my hand I had just received, all my stamps on it, all my hard work, but never truly recognized. But it only got worse.

The suicidal rate sky rocketed. Taking another person close to me. The loss was harder on my fiance than me, but it still took us all by surprise. My job is so full of assholes, we couldn't go to her memorial because she was not "as blood family member." I started to realize how cruel the world was getting from there.

Another person I loved, gone. Healthy as a horse, but then he died. I could not go to his funeral either due to lack of transportation and my job once again. Another friend gone, someone I had met senior year who made it bearable, gone within an instant. Work still, would not let me go. There was no break from death in 2020.

Worst of all, you took my best friend. A girl I have known since sixth grade, was murdered. There was no justice..the guy had received bail. While my friend lies six feet under, the man who had taken her life lives free, walking the streets. How is that okay?

It didn't seem to stop there. You took my uncle then my grandpa. A total of nine people was lost who were close to me, and I to them. It only seemed to get worse. The government slowly began to take over with a blink of our eyes, riots, more sickness, more hate in the world seemed to only grow.

No college for me. Why? Because of the disease ruined it for me. I work at a crooked job due to no other job reaching my necessities. I work well, amazing experience, but due to the virus its hard to get hired. My job takes more money than they need, they discriminate against me, they did not care that I came down with the virus, they continued messing with my paycheck so that I make less.

2020 has taken almost everything from me. Friends, family, jobs, life opportunities, goals, and more. So now I write, now I write on my life, and my journey, and other peoples journeys. I write to relate, to let go, to shine light on real issues, to grieve, to become less numb. I am numb, but maybe this will help.