Being Honest About Anxiety Changed My Life

I’ve had anxiety since, well, as far back as I can remember. In the beginning, it was mostly social anxiety; I was terrified of adults and hesitant with other children. It morphed into a Generalized Anxiety Disorder as I grew older, but it’s only been in the past two years that I put a name to the awful feeling I get in my chest that radiates through my body.

Before realizing—with the help of my doctor—that I have an unusually high amount of anxiety, I just thought I had an anger issue and too much stress in my life. Even classmates in college who barely knew me were probably used to my outbursts of fury and tears.

Maybe that’s why it was so easy for me to start talking openly about what was going on inside my body; everyone had seen the embarrassing side effects firsthand, so why not give them an explanation? It made me feel better that they knew the legit medical reason behind my behaviour.

Opening up about my feelings has changed my life.

I’m no longer a flake. Instead of canceling plans with friends because “I don’t feel well,” I’m canceling, rescheduling or adjusting plans because “I’ve got some mad anxiety today.” Rather than lashing out when the anxiety takes over, I’m wildly spouting out all my worries to friends who then can help talk me down. I don’t push people away before they get close enough to see how broken I am anymore because from the beginning they know. They understand what they’ve signed up for by being my friend.

Sure, there’s still a lot of stigma regarding mental health and I’ve dealt with some of it. But, for the most part, people have been endlessly supportive and understanding.

I often get private messages from friends and acquaintances telling me they deal with something similar, but don’t want others to know. I get it. Before my anxiety had me publicly falling apart, I tried to hide what a mess I felt like.

However, I’m so glad I did fall apart. On bad days, I am so honest with the world about what I’m going through and the love that is sent my way gives me a renewed strength to fight for happiness. It connects me with others who have similar struggles, so I no longer feel alone or different and I have a support system who have real experience and potential solutions.

Life with an anxiety disorder is so much better with a safe community to be yourself in. If you’ve been open about your mental health struggles with family and friends, how has it gone? If you tend to keep it to yourself, what are the reasons?

Meg Crane is a freelance writer and editor. Having struggled with anxiety and depression her whole life, she helps other freelancers and creatives learn how to take care of their mental health while pursuing the work they love. Learn more at megjcrane.com.