Becoming Who You Truly Are

I came across this video on TikTok the other day, and it said something that stopped me in my tracks:

“If you don’t spend enough time getting to know yourself, you’ll end up absorbing everyone else’s definition of you.”

And wow… that hit deep.

Because think about it—how often do we let that happen without even realizing it? How often do we let the voices around us get louder than our own? Our friends, our families, social media, even total strangers—everyone seems to have an opinion on who we should be, how we should act, what we should want. And when we don’t take the time to tune into ourselves, we start to believe them.

We start molding ourselves into versions that please others. That fit the mold. That make us feel “acceptable.”

But here's the quiet tragedy in that: you wake up one day and realize you’ve been living someone else’s life.

It doesn’t hit you all at once. It’s in the little things. When someone says, “You’re too emotional,” so you start bottling up your feelings. Or “Why are you so quiet?” so you start performing a louder version of yourself just to seem “normal.” Or when they hint—maybe not even with words—that who you are isn’t quite enough.

So, you adjust. Shrink. Shift.

All for what? Approval? Belonging? A sense of worth you hope someone else will hand you?

But here’s the truth, and I hope you hear this with your whole heart:

Nobody gets to tell you who you are.

Not your parents. Not your friends. Not the people who think they know better.

Only you get to decide that.

But—and this part’s important—that kind of self-knowing doesn’t just fall into your lap. It takes intentional time with yourself. It takes asking the uncomfortable questions:

What do I actually care about?

What makes me feel alive?

What am I doing just to fit in—and what do I want to do for me?

This isn’t pretty work. It’s not always peaceful or inspiring. Sometimes it’s sitting in silence, feeling a little lost. Sometimes it’s unlearning things you were taught about your worth. Sometimes it’s disappointing people because you finally said no.

But the trade-off?

You start living as you. Not a mirror reflecting everyone else’s expectations.

So I’ll ask you this:

When was the last time you checked in with yourself?

Not for productivity. Not to fix anything. But just to ask, “Hey… how am I really doing? What do I actually want?”

And if you don’t have those answers yet, that’s okay. This isn’t about having it all figured out. It’s about finally starting to listen. To trust your own voice, even if it’s quiet.

Start paying attention. To what drains you. To what excites you. To the things you do out of love versus the things you do out of fear.

Say no when something feels wrong—even if others don’t get it.

Say yes to the parts of you you’ve buried just to be accepted.

Because you’re not here to be someone else’s idea of you.

You’re here to be you. And that version? It’s more than enough.