20.20

'Life is what happens when you're busy making other plans'- John Lennon

It's been a crazy minute to think we're in the middle of 2020. The world is ever-changing, and for once, everything has been on a pause for everyone.

Personally, I like to think all of this happened for the better. For us, to be better. It's a common saying that these days everyone is so busy working and making money that they forget life is stripping away or they're simply trading time for money. This time, we are forced to put away our work but spend more time appreciating the more permanent things in our lives- whether it be our family, friends or our passion and interests.

Subtract 80% of work life, what's left?

Majority of us, myself included, have felt lost and lonely as a result of this pandemic, but when this struck, I was more glad than upset. I was simply 5991 miles away from home, but I was sent home the next morning a few cases hit the surrounding areas of my town. I am hopeful because this global upheaval, gave an opportunity for family relatives, couples and cared ones to return home, and at that very moment, nothing else mattered except for the sake of having us beside one another.

I was lucky enough to catch the last few flights home, and was blessed not to be affected, as the risks are higher whilst I was on the air. I was more calm than angsty. As a person who has a habit of planning out the future, for once, every second felt 10x slower. All throughout that 20 hour flight home, I constantly had flashbacks of all the great memories I have had with my loved ones, and started looking back at the things I have accomplished in 21 years.

The past three years of university, I was always counting the days until graduation, until I can make something of myself, my routine was study, work, sleep, repeat. All of a sudden, it was almost as if I wasted three years, not to discover who I was as a person, but traded my time at the rate of £10 per hour.

Who was I?

After landing, under government rules like most countries, I've had to be in quarantine for 14 days, I can't lie, those two weeks were absolutely dreadful for me. I thought I would feel much better after being home, but the feelings of emptiness flooded.

Was I in shock?

It wasn't like me to feel this way, I was always one to have everything planned out and kept myself busy, but this time, I couldn't plan anything around it. Other than my studies, I had no clue what my passion or interests are, with no idea of what my strengths are or even where to begin looking for myself. That's when I finally realised, I was so focused on my getting a first, studying was everything for me. My parents worked so hard to send me abroad so my only goal is to get the highest achievement. Yet, I neglected the fact that learning the lifestyles and actually living the life there was what they wanted me to get a grasp of.

Despite these thoughts, life is always what you make of it, I have never felt more me, my experiences and emotions were only preparing me for this very moment, now I am more than ready to explore my creativity.