10 tips to stop worrying about things we can not control

Have you ever felt like “something terrible is about to happen”? Does it feel like the worst scenario is unavoidable? Have you ever experienced waves of dark, freezing and sticky anxiety that it is impossible to shake off or ignore? I did. Many times.. Too many. At some point I started reflecting and understood that most of my fears will most likely never happen or I worry about things that are out of my control.

In time I understood that it is all in my head...

It is proven that brain recognizes anxiety and anticipation of painful or unpleasant experience the same way as the actual pain. So, when we worry about things that are out of our control we suffer for real about things that are not!

In this strange and unpredictable time, I will share with you few tricks that I use to calm down my anxiety, take control on my mind and stop worrying about things I can not change! I hope it will help you!

1. Find some peaceful time and space to look into the face of your fears. Think about things that are ripping you within the most, imagine what might happen in the worst-case scenario. Write it down on a paper and then write what will or can you do IF the worst scenario will happen. Sensation of clear understanding and planning will help your mind calm down.

2. Define what you can control and what you cannot. Make sure that you did everything you can to navigate parts of your life that you can control to the right direction. Evaluate the tools that you have to reverse negative to positive.

3. Keep calm, control your emotions, take breaks, meditate, do sports and learn breathing exercises. I find them extremely helpful. You will not be able to help yourself or others if you are a mess.

4. Make an aware decision to stop worrying about things that might happen. Start living in a present, not in “negative future” that possibly will not happen.

5. Stop your inner dialogue, don’t let dark thoughts cycle and take your valuable time, suck your energy again and again. Better make yourself busy, dedicate yourself to learn new and useful skills, do art, rest, cook or sleep. Repeat yourself phrases like “I can do it”, “Everything will turn out good”, “Only I can decide how I react on that”, you might not believe in that first but in time your brain will get used to recognize it as truth!

6. Reach out for an advice to the reasonable person who will be able to give you a constructive advice without judgment. Or just share your worries with someone you trust. Experience some human warmth and connection.

7. Remind yourself that as long as you are alive – there is hope!

8. Don’t take any rush and impulsive actions dictated by fear. Take a breath, or two, or ten. Think it over, analyze if what you are about to do is an adequate reaction and if it will help you long term. Is it kind? Remember that fear is a liar.

9. Keep in mind that compassion without self-care is incomplete.

10. Stop living in the past and start building your future today!

And the last but not least (and my personal favorite) - Think good before you think bad!

Stay safe everyone and share some tips of your own!