Why you can't stop eating ice cream

Habits are simply behaviors that arise to fill a space in time. No matter if it is seconds, minutes, or hours, a habit arises so that we can occupy our mind for some period of time. This is why it is so hard to eliminate a habit if you do not replace it with something else. 

Let me provide an example. Let's say you have a habit of digging into a bowl of ice cream right before bed. It probably takes you maybe 20 minutes to pursue and finish this habit. If you want to stop eating ice cream, you may just tell yourself, "tonight I won't eat ice cream." 

The first night, when you feel the urge to go get some ice cream, you stop yourself. But now, you are left ruminating about that bowl of ice cream that you don't get to have for the next 20 minutes. This is a habit that is eliminated but not replaced. Eventually, it is very likely that the willpower you are using to just sit with your dissatisfaction will dwindle, and eventually you may think to yourself "this is just not worth it." 

You simply just took away one avenue of satisfaction and reward, and did not replace it with anything. Now, you are left with anniversive state, and you are simply just unhappy. But, let's say we replace the bowl of ice cream with a different behavior. Instead of taking that 20 minutes to eat a bowl of ice cream, maybe you use it to take a walk before bed. Or maybe you decide to get 20 extra minutes of sleep. Or, you could use it for a nice meditation session, or simply just a nice conversation with your family. Suddenly you have completely forgotten all about that bowl of ice cream, because you have filled that Gap in time with a different behavior. Within a matter of days, you can completely replace an old habit with a new habit. Our thoughts influence each and every behavior we partake in. If we have nothing to fill our thoughts, our mind will typically wander too what is familiar, which in this case would be whatever habit we typically feel our time with. Simply finding something different to occupy your attention will feel your conscious mind up enough such that you only consciously forget about the habit you are trying to break.

Not only can we use this to break an unwanted habit, but we can also choose to replace it with a habit that we are wanting to do more of, but maybe we did not have time because the old and unwanted habits are consuming to much of our attention 

•Replace ice cream with a walk.

•Replace social media is a conversation with your loved ones.

•Replace video games with real sports. 

•Replace television with a book. 

• Replace alcohol with a better drink alternative. 

I think the key takeaway for this discussion is that when it comes to human psychology, we simply can't rely on willpower. Rather, we should expect that our brains will not always work in our favor, and we should strategize so diligently that it is almost impossible to fail.