Two Simple Rules to Take Control

When the Lovely Wife and I decided to move last year, we had to face the fact that we had lived in the same semi-large house for nearly twenty years. We both are casual hoarders (no, we're not like those crazy people on TV, honest!). Me with books, she with yarn and craft supplies. But in the dim attic light, surrounded by possessions I had long forgotten existed, I had to admit there was more up there than ancient college texts and unfinished knitting projects.

Something had to be done.

So we spent literally MONTHS getting rid of stuff we didn't want to pack and move. We donated about 15 carloads of nice stuff to Goodwill, gifted even nicer things to our friends and made about thirty trips to the local landfill. And -- you know what? -- we should have done more. To this day I'm STILL finding things that I wonder why I gave someone hard-earned money to transport tennis shoes that I never liked and no sane person would ever wear.

So here are two rules that will at least reverse the tide while you get your head above water. They aren't perfect, and by no means will they solve all your clutter problems but, with practice, they will give you the skills to tackle the rest.

Rule of ONE: Get Rid of Old Stuff

That sounds easy right? And terribly hard, too. Paradox time! But the truth is that we all have possessions we absolutely don't need. EVER. In our hearts, though, they are more than that. That old trophy means more to us than who won the last election. The unmatched 'set' of flatwear that you've used since high school that still works even though you have a new set that works even better. The iron skillet that was a $1 bargain at the yard sale and is sitting with two more in the basement. Begone!

Marie Kondo (the Japanese decluttering guru of our era) says we should celebrate these things that gave us joy at one time... and then let them go. So here's the Rule of ONE: Every day, get rid of one thing. That's it. Big, small, whatever. If you have a lot of gumption, you can say an entire shoebox of old socks with no elastic are 'one' object. It's up to you!

Can't find room in your fridge or pantry? Notice that half of that stuff is past its 'use by' date? Clothes that were out-of-date before you even got the tags off? (And likely still have the tags ON.) Anything you haven't touched in a year and never will? All great candidates for this rule.

"But wait!" I hear you cry, "Some of this stuff is really useful! Surely someone would want it!" Okay, here's the other Rule of ONE: If you are keeping stuff to give away, make a trip to the donation center of your choice ONCE a week. Not a month. A week. We keep a bin in the trunk of our car and it works great.

Rule of ZERO: Don't Get More Stuff

This is a slightly trickier concept but it involves WHY we get stuff. Some we need (food), some we want (knick knacks) and some come unbidden (why, thanks Aunt Hazel for that... thing!)

The Rule of ZERO is don't INCREASE the amount of stuff.

Here's how you need to look at new clutter coming toward you. You can even share the philosophy for those who like to give you things. Gifts are the worst because you don't want to hurt the feeling of those who love you. So tell Aunt Hazel no more ceramic dogs and choose from the list below.

1. Consumables: Basically, anything that won't hang around once you've used them. Food, flowers, toothpicks, whatever. By their nature, they will go their merry way to the landfill/recycling center/compost heap when they've accomplished their mission. Also, PLEASE, don't but gallon jugs of Cheez-Whiz just because it's on sale. You're going to throw away most of it anyway (see Rule of ONE).
2. Experiences: Instead of buying a thing, why not buy a memory? Go to a movie with that certain someone. Have a day spa rather than more china. A loaf of bread, a jug of wine and thou... better than a new coasters that look like cross sections of a human brain, right?
3. Replacements: If you have to get that new purse, send another on its merry way. You know the one. It always slips off your shoulder, has a tendency to spill everything you DON'T want people to see on the ground and never looked as good as the picture on the website.
4. Virtual items: Get electrons rather than atoms. Games, books, pictures, movies... all of these can be bought, put on the cloud, and kept forever, no matter where you are. You can even combine both rules as you replace old physical things with new virtual ones. Score!

Although I make light of the difficulty, I know it's hard. I STILL haven't tackled my old comic collection or literally thousands of terrible photographs. At the same time, though, I've given away boxes of novels I will never re-read to those who will enjoy them. I finally got rid of those old textbooks (except calculus... one day I will defeat you!) And we've donated enough clothes to keep most of North Korea warmly (it not stylishly) dressed.

In the end, listen to your heart. If you pick up something and think, "Should I get rid of this?", you probably know what the answer is. Say goodbye and say hello to a simpler, less cramped, life.