The Secrets To Win an Argument

Anyone in this life has ever argued with someone. Whether with his partner, with a friend, with his parents or even with a boss or client.

Also, many have won arguments and other times they have lost them. Many even hate losing an argument. Has it ever happened to you?

I'm sure you've ever wondered and wanted to know how to win an argument?

Well, that is what you will learn today.

But before we get into the topic of how to win an argument, it's good to make a few things clear:

1. An argument is not a fight: So to win an argument, you must first understand that you are not in a fight or a power struggle, but rather that you are in a confrontation based on different points of view about something.

2. The topic of the discussion has an influence: It is not the same to discuss normal things as it is to discuss issues that are well-rooted in the personality, such as religious issues.

3. Arguing is common: Whenever there are different points of view, people are arguing. That yes, when the thing gets strong, the tone of voice rises and even the nerves explode, then the discussion has already passed to another plane.

Knowing these three simple things, it's time to learn how to win an argument, so first I'm going to explain the things that you should NEVER say or do if you want to win an argument.

DON'T MAKE IT PERSONAL

At the moment you are arguing and you make the discussion personal, there you will end up losing any chance of winning (Unless you use force, manipulation or a direct attack on the integrity of the other person)

So the first tip to win an argument is not to make it personal.

Remember that when you argue you are exposing your point of view which confronts the other person's point of view, so the secret is to make people understand instead of attacking.

DO NOT GET DISTRACTED

This is key.

When you argue, your opponent will try to deflect the subject elsewhere to try to get you onto his favoured ground and win you over.

Stay firm and always try to redirect the discussion to the main topic.

DON'T USE WEAK ARGUMENTS

To win an argument you must have several types of arguments, they may be solid or they may be weak.

Use the strongest arguments first because they are a great way to render your opponent speechless, thus creating a situation where your chances of winning an argument are higher.

In the worst case, you will always have fewer strongfeweruments to support the strong ones and not the other way around.

Now yes, since I mentioned the things you should NOT do to win an argument, it's time to talk about the things you should do.

Are you ready? Let's see the most important points.

KEEP CALM

The difference between an argument and a fight is based on a fine line and that line has to do with the calmness or attitude of the people who are arguing.

Because of people who do not know how to stay calm, some discussions end in fights (Verbal and physical)

USE EVIDENCE

If you want to win an argument you should imagine that you are in the middle of a trial and that you are the defence attorney for your client.

So as a good lawyer, you should make use of the evidence you have in your favour, to defend your point of view and thus save your client.

Thanks to the evidence, it is that in real life, many people win (or lose) lawsuits, without having to come to a fight.

If they can do it, then so can you.

ASK QUESTIONS

This point is related to the previous point.

If you ask questions during an argument, you will be getting your opponent to speak, and express what he thinks or feels and thus you will be able to find the evidence to defend your position.

Evidence-based on the concerns, doubts or feelings of the other party.

Remember that when you ask questions, you can even lead the discussion until it reaches the point you really want and thus win.

USE LOGIC

I will never forget philosophy classes at school where they taught us things like:

IF “A” EQUALS “B” AND “B” EQUALS “C”, THEN “A” EQUALS “C”

This same logical thinking could be used whenever you want to win an argument.

Try to ensure that your arguments, the questions you ask, and the evidence you handle, are in a logical order so that a "feeling" of perfection is generated, thus making your argument more solid in general.

APPEAL TO VALUES

To win an argument, apart from arguing your point of view, you can also appeal to certain emotions.

Talking about certain values can make the other party rethink their point of view.

For example, in a discussion where one person says that we have to kill the thieves and the other person argues that we can't do something like that, you could appeal to human values by saying something like:

DO YOU THINK WE HAVE THE RIGHT TO CHOOSE WHO LIVES OR DIES IN THIS WORLD?

If the person understands the message, they may lower their position a bit and let you argue your point of view.

LISTEN AND PAY ATTENTION

This is one of the best secrets to winning an argument easily.

Simply listen to the other party.

Think of yourself as a doctor, who first lets the patient say what is happening to him, the symptoms and what he thinks he has, and then analyze the situation and recommend the correct medicine.

When you let the other party talk (and pay attention) you will be able to see their strengths and weaknesses, and then attack with your best arsenal.

So remember, stay calm and take advantage of that calm to obtain that precious information that will help you win an argument.

ACCEPT THE OTHER'S POINTS

In an argument, you don't always have 100% reason for what you argue.

Sometimes there are valid points and sometimes points that are not.

Accept when your opponent is right, own up to it, and avoid attacking everything they say point by point.

This will help you come across as more approachable and open, making the other party feel less threatened in the discussion.

STUDY YOUR OPPONENT

Usually, when you argue with someone, it is a person you know or with whom you have a certain closeness (Although it will not always be so)

Remember to study your opponent, know his strengths, his weaknesses, his way of thinking, etc.

The more you know your opponent, the more chances you have to win an argument because you may know how to control the other person and bring them to your side.

LOOK FOR A WIN/WIN RELATIONSHIP

While everyone wants to win an argument, you don't have to take everything away from your opponent to do so. You can look for how both win something.

I remember a negotiation exercise in which the group is divided into two small groups and made to negotiate for an orange, but they cannot say what they want it for. In this exercise sometimes the discussions get a little heated. At the end of the exercise, it is revealed why each team wanted the orange. One wanted the shell to make jam and the other team wanted the inside to make juice.

In short, both of them could have gained something if they managed to win the argument by pursuing a win-win relationship.

BE HUMAN

Sometimes some people argue simply because they want everything to be the way they think.

They are people who seek to win an argument, just because they like to control, power ordominatet another person.

While you argue, be human.

This is noticeable and will help you not feel as much resistance from the other party and will also help you to be more open, sincere and even logical in your way.

Anyway, follow these tips and thus increase your chances of winning an argument. If you have any other tips or ideas, I invite you to share them in the blog comments