Surviving The Party

One of the most dangerous arenas is the party scene. It doesn't matter if it's in a fraternity, sorority, or someone's parent's house; there are a lot of potential dangers: getting drunk, getting drugged, falling unconscious in a weird location, even physical or sexual assault. Even if you get drunk or get high like you want, there are plenty of different potential problems you need to worry about when you combine hormones, lack of experience, and chemicals; there is plenty of possibility for dangerous interactions. If your goal is to avoid those explosions, it can make life interesting.

["A little paranoia is a good thing" is the basic principle here. While it's good to let your guard down, don't let it down completely: The combination of hormones, drugs/alcohol, and rebellion can be a potent combination; with no governor on your actions, it's entirely possible to get into some serious trouble.

Put a more blunt way: You want to enjoy the party but not well enough you become a sexual assault statistic. While there's no way to guarantee that not happening, a few simple safeguards can at least lower the chances of you being assaulted.]

Pack Tactics

Never go to a party alone. Loners are easier to isolate, take advantage of, and to be dealt with as others wish. Pairs are the minimum, with four being better. If you drove to the party in the same vehicle, one person should be the designated driver (it doesn't need to be the same person who drove up, but whoever it is shouldn't drink more than a beer or maybe two shots during their time at the party). Make sure that everyone is ready to leave at the same time or has some plan to leave the party (or stay); these plans need to be understood by everyone.

[This isn't just to make departure easier. This also gives each of the members an excuse ("But I'm with someone") to get out of a potential problem, as well as the confidence that someone has their back. If they came in a car, then it makes leaving that much easier. Yes, taxis and equivalent work; if you need to drive there, replace the "designated driver" with a "designated caller." Either way, it's common courtesy to reimburse the gas or charge, the sooner the better.]

While at the party, try to remember to never split the party; you should always be within yelling distance of someone else if something happens. If someone needs to slip away to be intimate, then the person splitting off should give a time frame of how long they're going to be gone before others start tracking them down; while it can be inconvenient (especially if one party is caught in an embarrassing situation), it does encourage safety as the person you're sharing the moment with knows others know and that you will be checking in. It also means that if you do get into trouble, you can play for time until someone finds you. In the worst-case scenario, it also ensures that you will get the help you need.

[While you're preparing for the party, it may not be a bad idea to grab some stickers and wristbands capable of testing drinks for tampering. Drug-tampering nail polish is being tested.]

If you do need to leave without someone else, make sure that everyone knows. If you plan on leaving the group, try to give them a heads up and let them know when the moment arrives, even if it's to stay where the party is being held. Communication is key so keep it up and you should be fine.

Why You're There

Before you get there, know why you're going. You don't need some grandiose plan; "get drunk" is perfectly valid for our purposes. If you're part of a group, this enables them to either join you or help you accomplish those goals, or at least stay out of your way. If they do help, then it means that someone has your back and someone can back your play or try to get you out of the situation. This also means that the group can come up with a plan to accomplish all of the goals of the group members.

There is one issue you need to keep in mind: One person needs to stay sober. You need someone who can call emergency services and think clearly if something bad happens. This doesn't mean the person can't have a beer or a couple of shots, but that had better be all that they have; their job is potentially vital to the safety of everyone else. If the host(s) demand that everyone get drunk, or even just drink regularly, then it's time to walk; there's no question that they're setting you up for something. You can either rotate the position or have one person do it every time, but it's common courtesy to give the person who has to sit the party out playing group security some sort of reward, be it a lunch or help on homework.

Know Where The Bathrooms Are

You need to know where everything is as a matter of personal security; this goes back to situational awareness. If you're planning something intimate then knowing where the bedrooms are is a good idea, especially if the doors lock. Knowing where all of the exits are is a good idea, and not just if the police raid the place. You should definitely know where the bathrooms are because you're likely going to have to use them at some point during the night; please remember that there is usually a line and no one likes waiting longer than needed; the bathroom is not the place for long heart-to-hearts.

The Dreaded Cup 

The Red Solo Cup is both blessing and bane of parties everywhere. The good news: It's a cheap way to get even cheaper beer into most people at one time. Now that we've covered the good, let's deal with the bad; there's lots of it. First, they should be stored upside down; if it's stored right side up ask to see inside it before something is poured inside it; if this is a problem then don't drink; if it's stored upside down then it's at least harder to hide potential additives. If they're pre-poured, watch for a few moments to see if others were directed to the same area as you were; if some people are directed to drink cups from different areas, don't drink as the ones from the area your cup came from may be tainted.

Other considerations:

• If you didn't see it from the time it was poured to the time it's in your hand, get another one. 
• Never let it out of your sight; there's no lid so it's easy to throw stuff in. 
• If you do drink, quickly. You can't throw something in an empty cup without it being obvious. 
• Never put your cup down, especially if it has something in it. 
• If you trust your cup, refill it. Never get a new cup if you can avoid it as the new cup could be dosed.

The bottom line is that if you ever have reason to suspect your cup has been tampered with, toss it and get a new cup. If you're not allowed to get a new cup, then you're done drinking for the night.

Obviously, bottles and cans are better. They are harder to drug due to having smaller holes, if you put them down it's easier to tell if they've been messed with (point the label in a specific direction; if it's no longer in that direction it's been messed with), and the bottle can be used as a melee weapon. However, the cup (if full) can be used to distract someone by throwing its liquid in an attacker's face. However, do pay attention if it's been opened without you seeing the actual opening as it's easy to sneak something in when it's being opened.

The Red Solo Cup can be scary but not if you keep an eye on it.

[Most of these tricks were developed by men over the ages to avoid poisoning, getting dosed and pressed into naval service, and avoiding practical jokes (sometimes involving the newest drugs); after all, if one friend doesn't try to sneak something into another friend's drink, they just aren't real friends. This is just to show that these aren't exactly new problems and sometimes the best solutions are old ones.]

Have a Backup Plan

Not every party is going to be the simple affair you want it to be and so sometimes you need to run. If possible, arm yourself with some non-lethal weapons; purse and coat pockets are the perfect place to hide them. Driving to a location is not only good to make sure you'll get home but it also ensures you can leave any time you want. Make sure that you have a spare set of keys and a backup phone; it's always possible that your primary set or phone could be taken away or stolen (if your car keys are taken away and the car is more than a beater, the taker could be facing a misdemeanor or felony if they refuse to return them). Keep in mind that there is strength in numbers; if you're not the only one coming under fire find as many allies for mutual defense as soon as possible.

Don't forget that you can always call someone else for a ride, such as how parents have told their kids to call if they're drunk, judgment is temporarily suspended. It's just a good idea to set this up ahead of time.

In short, have some sort of backup plan in case things go south and you need to extract yourself from the situation fast.

This should help you survive most parties unscathed. Don't be afraid to walk if you feel uncomfortable for any reason, such as aggressive guys, the hosts decide to force everyone to drink, do drugs, or worse, or the others are doing things you don't feel comfortable doing. Have a general idea of what is expected of you before you go and plan accordingly. The goal shouldn't be to just have a good time but to get home in one piece.