How to Conquer an All-You-Can-Eat Buffet

For most people, a buffet is actually a challenging proposition. An all-you-can-eat buffet presents three problems to most people:

1. Making it a healthy meal can be a problem. 
2. Ensuring that you get your value is a concern.
3. The variety can be staggering.

With a systematic approach, making the meal you grab from the buffet can be healthy, satisfying on several levels, and easy to navigate. All you need to do is decide what your goals are and charge in; it can be an excellent way to try things that you normally wouldn't try while enjoying yourself.

The Two Basic Problems

There are two problems that need to be addressed before we even get going: calories and time limits. The average adult requires about 2000–2500 calories a day; it's possible to eat about 3000–4000 in a single sitting. This means that you either need to be on a cheat day where you can enjoy as many calories as you would like or be in a position where you need those extra calories, such as carbo-loading for a special event or intense training.

You do not want to starve for the entire day. This will either cause you to eat more due to your hunger or get sick sometime during the meal. Conversely, you do not want to eat something so you are not as hungry when you sit down at the buffet; you will end up eating a few more calories than you were expecting. Just eat normally during the day and you should be fine.

The other issue is that you are up against a time limit, one set by your own body. When you start eating, your body releases leptin, a hormone that controls fat in the body and tells the hypothalamus to stop eating. For most people, this takes about twenty minutes; this also means that you need to finish your meal within about twenty or you will feel a little bloated rather than merely satisfied. Thus, as long as you eat briskly you should do fine.

[Conversely, if you are trying to purposely eat as few calories as possible, take your time and savor each bite; this slows up your eating pace and thus allows you to hit that twenty-minute limit while eating less food.]

Making It Healthy

When you first approach the buffet, realize that you're going to be attempting at least four plates: one salad plate, two dinner plates, and a dessert plate. Most of your nutrition will be coming from the salad plate while the dinner plates are mostly protein and carbs. On the first plate, go straight for the salad bar; pick a green, leafy vegetable as your base and build a decent salad from there. Throw on a variety of vegetables, especially those that add some additional texture and taste, such as carrots and olives, as well as some sliced cucumbers and bean sprouts.

Debate some croutons; they add a nice little crunch but are rarely gluten-free. Try to avoid the jellies and puddings; some buffets put some of their desserts in the salad bar for both visual punch as well as the salad bar's cold. For the dressing, debate the oil and vinegar; the ranch is pretty much pure mayonnaise and the vinaigrette usually has a lot of added sugar. Blue cheese should be seriously debated as it's usually just calories. With a little planning, you should be able to create a nice little salad that should provide all of the vitamins you need for the day.

The Dinner Plates

If the salad plate is about nutritional value, then the dinner plates are all about real value. While it may seem strange to think of recovering the money you spent on the meal, a buffet actually gives you that option once you think through the math: Most restaurants base their food costs on a 33% margin. That is, the food cost should be about 1/3 of the printed cost, with the other 2/3 going to pay, mortgages, and other costs of doing business. Buffets traditionally run at greater margins, so it is actually possible for someone to eat more than the cost of the meal.

For those with a need to rebel against The Establishment, this is one of the ways you make it hurt. Of course, if you get too crazy you can get banned, so play nice.

While the first and last plates do some damage, it's the dinner plates that will do the most damage. The obvious tip here is to avoid entrees that are more carb than protein, such as spaghetti and meatballs or pizza; you will fill up quickly on the carbs and it's the proteins that you want to target anyway. You want to get some carbs in there, sure, but try to go for potatoes, garlic bread, and crusted foods such as fish. Sushi also works given the rice part.

Your goal is to get four entrees per plate, with a preference for the more expensive items, such as steak and lobster. Steak is debatable as it tends to be denser than other foods and therefore takes more time to eat, so try to limit the amount of steak to about 8 ounces/500 grams. On the other hand, sushi is a good way to grab something good, or small, and that helps your total. Crab legs are another, but make sure you know how to crack the shells. The fish are good, but keep in mind that no matter how fancy the name is the fish itself is only good for the Omega-3s; most buffet fish aren't as fancy as they may sound.

Otherwise, have some fun, explore items that you don't get the chance to normally, and have some fun picking and choosing the foods you eat. With a little bit of planning, you should be able to get the most value for those plates and make sure you grab some vegetables while you're there. Debate any seafood, especially if it's served with cheese; buffet seafood is always risky. For most buffets, it should only take about two plates for you to get your money back, three if it's a really good buffet.

The Dessert Plate

Once you've had enough dinner, the dessert plate is all that remains. You should only get one dessert plate; you don't want to be a total glutton, and all you're getting is sugar albeit in different forms. Also, don't fill your plate; just grab a couple of different desserts and you should be good.

While this may not always help you feel better about the buffet, it should help you better enjoy your time there, trying to play the buffet like a game. At the very least, this should help you eat a little better even as you enjoy the foods presented, and your doctor will be happy to see that. So enjoy the buffet and see what they have; there is always something new to eat!