How I Turned My Biggest Insecurities Into My Greatest Strengths

On May 31st, 2001, I had my very first 6-figure month.

When you read that, you will feel one of a few things.

It might be a sense of wonderment that a nurse could accomplish that in the early 2000s. Or it could be jealousy because you haven't. It might even be a chortle that is really saying "whatever," and then you'll skip away from this.

But the point isn't what you will feel.

Nah. The point of this is, why the heck do I feel the way about HOW you feel.

It's bothered me for a long time now, so I finally decided to do something about it. What I mean is, I'm finally going to purge myself and write about it. The things I have been insecure about because I was fortunate enough to find success.

Yeah. I'm going to come clean about my biggest insecurities and bare it all.

The funny thing is that I bet you might resonate with some or even all of the things I still continue to struggle with.

We might feel like we are not good enough or that we are not worthy, but these feelings can actually push us to do better and achieve more.

When we feel insecure, it is often because we are comparing ourselves to others. We might feel like we are not good enough or do not measure up. These feelings can actually be motivating factors that push us to do better and achieve more. When we are determined to prove our worth, we often work harder and set higher standards for ourselves.

This can lead to more tremendous success in our personal and professional lives.

Our insecurities can also make us more relatable to others. When we share our vulnerabilities, we create a sense of connection with others who might be feeling the same way. We can use our experiences to empathize with others and help them feel understood.

Ultimately, our insecurities can be turned into positive traits that make us more successful and well-rounded individuals. By recognizing our strengths, we can use our insecurities to our advantage.

All of this reminds me of a quote I read somewhere: "You're better to have never of had it…than to have had it and lost it."

But I'll get back to that later.

For now, it's important to remember that the emotions that affect successful folks are precisely the same as those that affect everyone else.

Things like…

Feeling like an imposter

The fear of being exposed as a fraud is known as imposter syndrome.

This is a common problem for successful people, who often feel like they are not good enough or do not deserve their accomplishments. They may feel like they are a fraud and that someone will eventually find out.

This can be a very debilitating feeling, but it is essential to remember that everyone feels this way at some point in their lives.

Everyone has moments where they feel like they are not good enough or cannot accomplish something.

These feelings are normal and do not mean that you are actually a fraud.

The fix:

You first need to recognize that these feelings are normal.

It's ok.

The next step is to reframe your thinking.

Instead of dwelling on your insecurities, focus on your accomplishments and what you have achieved. This will help you realize that your imposter syndrome is unfounded and that you are capable of great things.

Feeling alone and emotionally empty

If you've ever run a marathon, climbed a mountain, or won the championship, you'll understand that not many folks know what that feels like.

The same applies to success as an entrepreneur.

I struggled with feelings of emptiness and loneliness. I felt alone and isolated. It's hard to talk about making over $100k in a month with your everyday friends. And yes, I did get the advice that says you need new friends.

Easier said than done.

But the fact is, your friends really won't get it.

The fix:

I eventually made different friends. People who had been where I am and, if I'm honest, make well over $100k a month.

They got it.

They understood the highs and lows of pursuing a dream and of winning.

They knew what it took to get to that success pinnacle.

Living up to an impossibly high standard

The worst part is that I'm the one who moved the bar.

I'm the one who sets a higher standard every time I achieve something.

And I bet on some level, you're the same. What I mean is that when you achieve something, whether it be an excellent e-book, a viral article, or that perfect poem, you aim higher.

And higher…

And higher…

This can be a result of your achievements and the expectations of others. You may feel like you have to constantly prove your worth and that you're never good enough.

This is a stressful way to exist. Trust me. I've been there.

The fix:

It wasn't easy. But I realized that my happiness did not come from others' approval.

I also stopped comparing myself to others. It's an impossible game to win, and you'll never be satisfied.

The only person you should compare yourself to is the person you were yesterday. As long as you're moving forward, you're doing just fine.

So this begs the question, "what's the point of having money/building wealth/success?"

If reaching the pinnacles of success causes this angst, why bother aiming for it?

The answer is simple: because it fucking feels good.

At face value, that may sound shallow but think about it. Really THINK about it.

Who wants to be average? Who wants a life of struggle trying to make ends meet? Who wants to NOT leave a legacy for their children and future generations?

In short, who does NOT want to make a difference?

It feels good to achieve something great. It feels good to know that you are capable of attaining your goals. It feels good to be successful.

Yes, there may be some anxiety and insecurity with success, but it also comes with NOT being successful.

And overall, it is a great feeling.

As per that quote from earlier…

… If you've never had a 6 figure month and made more money than you could imagine or spend, you don't know what you're missing.

As I said earlier… it's important to remember that the emotions that affect successful folks are exactly the same as those that affect everyone else.

So get over the insecurities and just win, baby.