How do manipulative people gradually draw information out of you?

1. Pretending to Share:

First, they voluntarily disclose trivial personal secrets or mundane details of their life to create an atmosphere of mutual sharing. This makes you lower your guard and reveals more private information. For example, they might say, "I got ripped off while shopping today and wasted my money. Have you encountered anything absurd lately?"

2. Indirect questioning:

They avoid directly asking sensitive questions, instead probing indirectly. To find out about your income, for example, they might say, "How's your industry doing lately?" I heard some companies are giving significant raises. Is that the case at your company?"

3. Pretending to be clueless:

They act as if they don't understand certain things to prompt you to speak more and gather information. For example, when you mention a project, they might say, "I'm not very familiar with this field. Could you tell me more about it? Is this project particularly challenging?"

4. Playing on sympathy:

They share their own difficulties or hardships to evoke your sympathy and create an emotional connection, making them more likely to open up. For example: "I've been under a lot of work pressure lately and don't know what to do. How does your company handle stress?"

5. Offering incentives:

Suggest that revealing certain information might bring benefits. For instance, you could say, "If you know about this matter, tell me about it. Maybe we can share the benefits later."

6. Set topic traps.

Bring up a controversial or discussion-provoking topic to make you unconsciously reveal relevant information while you express your views. For example: "Many people are discussing workplace gender discrimination. Does your company have such issues? What do you think?"

7. Flattery:

First, they shower you with praise to put you in a good mood and a state of self-satisfaction. Then, they take the opportunity to ask questions. For example: "You're so skilled in this area. I've always admired you. How did you come across such great resources?"

8. Using a Third Party:

Ask questions in someone else's name or about something else to lower your guard.

For example: "I heard from others that you've been working on a big project lately. What's the situation?"

9. Creating a Sense of Urgency:

Create an atmosphere of time pressure that makes you feel like you need to act immediately without time to think. For example: "Hurry up! There's no time left. Tell me about the budget part of your plan right now, or this collaboration will fall through."

How to Prevent People from Tricking You into Revealing Information

1. Stay alert.

Be vigilant when faced with sudden, enthusiastic questions from others, especially regarding sensitive issues such as personal privacy or work secrets. Consider the other person's intentions.

2. Give vague responses.

For information you don't want to disclose, answer in a noncommittal manner. For instance, if someone asks about your income, you could respond, "It's just enough to cover living expenses."

3. Change the subject.

When you sense the other person is trying to pry, skillfully redirect the conversation to other topics. For instance, if they ask about your company's confidential business, you could respond, "Let's not talk about that for now. I recently discovered an amazing restaurant. What kind of food do you usually like?"

4. Ask them back:

Throw the question back at them to understand their intentions and motives. For example, if they ask your opinion about a colleague, you can respond, "Why are you suddenly asking about this? Have you been in contact with them recently?"

5. Verify their identity and purpose.

When they ask about sensitive information, first clarify why they want to know and how it will be used. For example, you could ask, "What are you asking this for?"

6. Stick to your principles.

Clearly define your bottom line and principles. Refuse to answer questions that violate your principles. If it involves confidential company information, for example, directly state, "This is company policy and cannot be disclosed. Please understand."

Here's how to prevent someone from manipulating your words:

7. Provide a general answer.

For questions that require an answer, give a general, summary-style response to avoid revealing specific details. For example, if asked about project progress, you can say, "It's still proceeding according to plan."

8. Stay calm.

No matter what tactics the other party uses, stay calm and don't let their emotions or words sway you. For example, if the other party uses financial incentives to tempt you, stay composed.

9. Avoid emotional expressions.

Don't answer questions when you're upset, as this can lead to speaking without thinking and disclosing information you shouldn't. If the other party intentionally provokes you and then asks for information, calm yourself before responding.

10. Strengthen confidentiality awareness.

Develop the habit of not disclosing personal or work-related information casually. Regardless of who you are dealing with, always maintain confidentiality.