Get Angry, Once

The news cycle, supported by social media, is an outrage machine. Without fail, roughly every two or so weeks, there is something for us to be angry about. The Democrats are doing X, therefore angry noises from Republicans. Republicans are doing Y, therefore angry noises from Democrats. Sportsman did Z, so sports fans are no longer sports fans. If we're not outraged, we instead wallow about in schadenfreude like a hippopotamus, ready to lash out with gnashing of teeth at anyone who would ruin our perfectly “safe” echo chamber, and mocking those we deem less intelligent or capable than ourselves.

On and on and on and on and on the cycle goes. Our heart rates spike, blood pressures rise, adrenaline and noradrenaline get released, respiratory rates increase, our attention narrows and we repeat that cycle over and over and over again causing our hormones to slow down in either their secretion or limiting receptor sensitivity until we die. Or laughing at the misfortune of those we feel have wronged us with some false sense of superiority. Seems like a healthy and mature way to live right?

You'll have to forgive my sarcasm because I really didn't see any other way to put forth the problems with constantly being angry or participating in “safe”, bias confirming conversations about the “opposition”. I can’t control social media or any of the large “news” outlets peddling propaganda. I can’t control what people who dislike or hate me do. I can only control myself.

And to be perfectly blunt, we’ve been conditioned to act this way in person too. Where we should see a person, we instead see an opinion to have a reaction to and then act accordingly.

Having those physiological reactions are not in and of themselves BAD. In fact, sometimes those autonomous responses are great. If anger were not a useful emotion at times, why would we have need of it? Why would anger be something we even experience, were it not useful in some circumstances. Rather the problem with anger isn't so much anger, but rather how often that emotion is stoked. Controversy sells. The truth of the line "I don't care what you think as long as it's about me," couldn't be more spot on when it comes to how most public figures act. I don't mean public figure as in elected official, I mean ANYONE IN THE PUBLIC EYE. Athletes, actresses, actors, successful businessmen, politicians, YouTubers, Instagramers, TikTokkers...you name it.

Where does that leave us? Well, the media likely isn't going to stop with the controversy sells methodology, and public figures likely aren't going to stop doing things we may disagree with, so we're kind of left with a no win situation right?

Wrong.

You can't control what your body does when you get angry and you can't control what news gets reported. You can choose what to watch and give attention to though. Even then you'll hear through water cooler gossip or private messengers some sort of news meant to rile you up. Stoking the anger fires to a fevered pitch. The real solution though, is that you can choose how to act when a stimulus is presented, especially one that should make you really angry. Notice I say act instead of react. Reactions are almost innate, something you do automatically because you've programmed your brain to do so to save time, energy and resources.

Quick side note. Your body wants to function at the highest level of efficiency possible. That's why the more you exercise, the less difficult that exercise gets. Same with reading and practicing anything cognitively strenuous. We get more and more efficient the more we do it via neural pathways. Very basic explanation, but an important fact nonetheless relating to our topic.

Continuing on, like I said earlier, we must choose to act instead of react. Why? Because reactions are a shortcut our brains make to be more efficient, but the problem is in this case, our bodies are actually working against themselves in the efficiency arena. Remember all of those physiological effects that occur? Yeah they do this because we're going into a fight or flight mode. Guess what happens when you're in fight or flight mode? You're less efficient. Way more powerful though. But definitely not efficient.

Again, I want to reiterate, getting angry throughout life is totally fine. We have emotions for a reason and being angry serves its purpose in the proper time and place. That being said, I want to get to the point of all this rambling.

Choose to act and choose to only get angry once. Not once in totality, I don't know how that would work. I guess we'd be like The Incredible Hulk being always angry and what not, but I digress. The key to only getting angry once is rather to only allow things to affect you once. For instance, the government “seems” incredibly corrupt and incompetent. I got mad about that like 17 years ago. There is no point in me re-elevating my heart rate, re-elevating my blood pressure, re-elevating my respiratory rate etc...every single day over it. It's not helpful especially when I have other challenges or other NEW things to be angry with nor is it healthy.

It takes energy, it narrows your focus and refuses to let you see anything outside of our immediate field of view. At times, beneficial. Repeatedly over and over every 2 weeks for the better part of our lives? Not beneficial. If we’re constantly angry we miss beautiful sunsets, we miss important moments in the lives of people we care about. We literally destroy our body physically due to the repeated stress we put it under. Over and over and over and over and over again.

Look, I'm not saying to not get angry. I think I've beaten that dead horse enough saying that at times it is clearly beneficial and appropriate to be angry. BUT there is no way that you will convince me that being so incredibly angry all the time is not debilitating and detrimental to not only our well being, but that of others as well.

Specifically, as a veteran, watching the suicide numbers continue to rise, I can't help but feel like there is a significant contribution we are making to the problem by allowing ourselves to be manipulated into getting angry and reactionary. Before I went into the military, I believed it made someone tough, unable to be provoked, disciplined. Now, I can’t think of a more easily offended subculture of people who lash out angrily because it’s all we know anymore. We act like anger is a superpower when in reality it’s kryptonite. It demands that we lose control of ourselves and embitters us to the world around us.

Accept things as they are, not as you expect them to be. Only get mad about something once, then do something about it or move on. Our time here is too short to be wasted in such a frivolous manner.