Five Simple Things to do Before You Die

Most people don’t want to think about it. Some people are obsessed with it. Death. It’s big, nebulous, weird. It’s very real and very final in its way but it is also abstract and our understanding of it is tenuous at best. A lot of people think of it as the end of them having to worry about things like paying rent, going to work, and putting food on the table…the continuous cycle of seeking food, shelter, and safety. Essentially, it is the end of that…unless you don’t care about the worry you are only shifting onto those you leave behind.

If you have someone in your life that will be taking care of your affairs after you are gone, it really is only fair to them to make that as easy as possible for them. (Unless you have one of those families full of greedy assholes and you like the idea of making everything as difficult as possible, then, by all means, fuck ‘em).

Not only is death just a tough topic, planning for it usually seems boring and complicated. What do I want done with my remains? How do I legally pick a guardian for my children? What happens to my car? Where should I keep my paperwork? These are just a couple of the questions that can be head scratchers for even the most together folks.

Granted, those questions are pretty major. This is a list of five simple (and often free) things you can do this week to plan ahead for your end-of-life planning.

Plan your funeral.

Creating a document that lists your Wants and Don’t Wants for your funeral arrangements is easy. You can let your family know if you want to be cremated or buried. If you want to donate your organs. Any music you would like played. If you prefer a service or a memorial event, or nothing at all.

If you would like to take it a step further, you can prepay for most funeral services such as burial plot, headstone, coffin, etc. There are so many alternatives to traditional funeral services, from biodegradable coffins to being turned into a tree bulb to be planted or even a beautiful piece of jewelry.

There are also more options for memorials too, especially post-covid shutdown when traditional funeral gatherings were not safe. Saving the celebration of life a few months until the weather is better is quite common now. Having a very small funeral with only immediate family and then a larger memorial party or service held at a favorite bar or restaurant is also a great alternative to the heavy price tag and timelines associated with funeral homes.

Plan your document storage and retrieval system.

The old school way was everything printed out and signed and notarized and kept either in a fireproof lockbox in the closet or a safe deposit box at a bank for safe keeping. The new way is all digital. I favor a hybrid method.

Having physical documents that are officially notarized are good to have in case there is a need for a lawyer or accountant after you pass, just a nice and legal paper trail. This is especially important if there are minor children involved or any kind of estate such as a real estate property, vehicles, investments, or cash holdings. It’s also a good idea to have two sets, one in your home and one off-site (like one of those safe deposit boxes or at your lawyers).

Having a set of documents in digital form is a solid backup and can make sending documents out-of-state or out-of-country so much easier, not to mention, instant. They can even be used as a stop-gap while the physical documents are being located or are in the mail.

Get life insurance.

Now, I did say that they aren’t all free…and this one is likely the most important as well as the most daunting of them all. It isn’t hard and it isn’t that expensive though.

These days, you can get life insurance from reputable companies in a matter of minutes online. You don’t even have to talk to a live agent. Just click some buttons, get a quote, and pay your first premium. Bing, bang, done.

There are lots of options for plans but in this instance I only want to touch on the necessities. A small term policy worth enough to cover funeral costs and your left over expenses will be a tremendous help to whoever ends up handling your final details. And the payments are often less than $50 a month (often much less).

Write a will (and a living will).

This is pretty important too. You might think that you don’t have anything of importance, and hell, maybe you’re right. But if you think that there might be any issue of who gets what, or you would prefer that it be donated or sold or whatever, write a will. It’s also incredibly important if you have children, pets, or anything of real value, even if just sentimental (a house, antiques, a cool collection).

Unless your life and estate are on the complicated side, there is no need for a lawyer. All you need is paper and pen, or a computer. There are also several online tools that help you in a fill-in-the-blank type of format. Once you have written it, take it to a notary (you can find one of those online too, or at your bank) and sign in their presence…to be on the safe side, if you are getting a hardcopy notarized, take two and get them both signed (same reasons as stated before).

Next, you should look into a living will. This one can be a little freaky and can cause some controversy…but it can also save a lot of in-fighting and drama. A living will is the document in which you state what is to happen to you in certain medical or mental states. You list your preferred person to make decisions for you, your choice for who should get power-of-attorney, who should care for your children should the need be immediate, what to do in case of life support and brain death, and any number of issues you would like to address.

This can be written in the same way as a will and should also be notarized. It is extremely important that a notarized copy be left in the safe keeping of a person you trust, likely the person you have selected to be your decision maker. A living will can be contested but so long as it is all in good order and there are no strange circumstances leading to your medical situation, it is usually followed by the medical staff and courts alike.

Plan for your digital afterlife.

What becomes of your Insta after you die? Your Facebook? Hell, your Amazon account. Things you should probably think about. One option is to just leave them where they lie and eventually they will be archived by the company for inactivity anywhere from a few months to a few years down the road. Another option is naming a digital caretaker…someone that you trust to shut down or monitor your accounts for you.

A digital caretaker can be named through some sites, like Facebook…you can pick the person to handle your account once you pass. The account then becomes a memorial account and is kept running as a memory wall or it can be deactivated. There are similar processes for most social media sites as well. You can even set this up, releasing your log-in information to the person of your choice with instructions on what you want done with your virtual world.

I know that even this all can seem overwhelming. Just take it one step at a time. Select something off the list and do it. The momentum will pick up and you will soon be done...and you can check it off your 'adulting' list.