'Do you' just got doable!

I find myself looking for words to describe 2020 at times, but remain blank, although, I do know what it felt like to me, a year of intense pressure, similar to a period in high school where you try to fit in but feel misunderstood in every group you join.

First, it was the baking challenges, since everybody couldn’t make their usual store run for bread, followed by the fitness challenges and the many DIYs that I so lovingly used to binge on but now turned a trend and overthrew me so much, it led to me to disinterest.

It didn’t help that right in the middle of these shenanigans, the black community gathered in numbers to fight against injustice. As a black lady, an immigrant from South Africa, you'd assume the one thing I would be great at is to fight against discrimination that, somewhat, directly affects me.

Yet that wasn't the case and it isn't because I didn't support the cause, but posts that harshly flooded my feed with "don't sit on your ass" and "get up and fight" made me feel like I wasn't doing enough and I'm sorry, I'm dearly sorry to my fellow black community, that I still considered that there was a whole pandemic going on before 'playing my part' and getting off my ass.

To be honest, what all the occurrences of 2020 did to my mental state was make me feel like I have no control. I know, I cannot have control over people, viruses, economic conditions, etc but I, if nothing else, should've been in control of myself, the storm in me... so to say. Although, I must say I am thankful for the experience because that made me realize that the one thing I need to do is take back control.

For that reason, my wellness resolution is to listen to my intuition. I chose to let go of the need to follow the flock because ‘everybody’s doing it' since that sounds like the only thing to do now and that makes ‘do what you love’ seems almost impossible because we can't really do most of the things we love in this current moment, right?

This year, 2021, I'm consciously acquiring knowledge without recourse to reasoning and choosing to pay attention to my inner sensing, insight, or voice or whatever you choose to call it, the gut feeling of survival, even when I think I don't need it.

According to statistics from the National Insurance Crime Bureau, 40 to 45 percent of American adults make one or more resolutions each year. Better money management, exercise, weight loss, and quitting smoking are the top New Year's resolutions but by the second week of January, 25 percent of those people have abandoned their resolutions.

I know popular opinion suggests that resolutions have to be manageable, have progress you can track, and following my intuition doesn't necessarily fall into those categories. I do know this though, New Year's resolutions will only stick if they're meaningful to you, and taking back control is, to me.

In the first month of 2021, I have used my intuition to attract what I want from this year. However, don't get me wrong, like everyone one else, I do have a list of things I want to achieve but those are not my new year's resolutions. I just don't have a 'due date' for them.

I simply believe I will attract them, be at the right place at the right time, and staying disciplined, heart and soul willing, by allowing and trusting myself to listen to my intuition in order to achieve them, with no due date, no plan, no unnecessary or inconvenient changes to my routine, just self-love and understanding.

The greatest advantage of intuition for me has been making decisions in complex and unfamiliar situations quickly and effectively. I quit my job and started full-time freelance writing, last year, this decision wasn't ideal for me. I felt guilty and ungrateful for not appreciating my job when almost all my peers and relatives considered me lucky only because they lost their jobs.

Several other ways my intuition made the start of my year better than expected are being more mindful. I do admit that listening to my gut feeling is a skill I will take months or even years to master because it comes second to nature. Unfortunately, for me to doubt the message it gives me and self-jeopardize on my journey of trusting myself, I have noticed that my self-awareness and mindfulness has increased and my oh my, has that made me more confident, I feel like Lizzo singing "s'cuse me while I feel myself".

I now go for what my heart desires and this newly trusted guidance of mine made me trust in myself in making tough decisions because I relinquished the need to overthink and analyze something, which has made it easier to feel sure about my decision.

I might not have a list of new years resolutions as I did the previous years, that I followed only until the third month. Rather instead of forcing myself to chase goals and adding on more pressure to myself, like I don't feel that already from Instagram alone. I will trust in my intuition to lead me to betterment, creative thinking, and new perspectives, and more especially improved mental well-being

By the end of this year, I want to say ''I can easily think outside of the box because I'm not worried about what I know and gave less rumination because it keeps me out of my own head and helps me to trust in my initial idea. Also, that trusting my gut feeling has helped me avoid unhealthy relationships and situations and possibly assisted in identifying my purpose in life"

I AFFIRM.