Detachment Isn’t Avoidance — It’s Experience

I once dropped my phone, watched the screen crack into a spiderweb of regrets, and whispered to myself, “It’s just a material possession.” Then I proceeded to mourn it like a lost pet for three days. So much for detachment!

Contrary to popular belief, detachment isn’t about avoiding emotions; it’s about fully experiencing them and then stepping back. As Morrie Schwartz put it:

“By throwing yourself into emotions, by allowing yourself to dive in, all the way, over your head even, you experience them fully and completely. You know what pain is. You know what love is. You know what grief is. And only then can you say, ‘All right. I have experienced that emotion. I recognize that emotion. Now I need to detach from that emotion for a moment.”

So, detachment isn’t suppressing how you feel — it’s allowing yourself to feel everything, so you can eventually move on.

The Daily Struggles of "Letting Go"

You tell yourself you’re detached from social media, but the moment someone leaves your message on *read*, you're spiraling. *Are they ignoring me? Did I say something wrong? Is this the end of our friendship?!* Meanwhile, their toddlers probably snatched the phone for watching a Youtube video!

Breakups these days are like swapping out a cracked phone screen — people rush to find a new one without taking the time to process the damage. Instead of healing, they go on a quest to find a new one, hoping to copy-paste old memories onto a new person. But here’s the truth: If you don’t take the time to detach and heal, you’ll just keep swiping right on the same heartbreak in a different package.

You see a beautiful dress. You don’t need it. You convince yourself you're above materialistic desires. Then, five minutes later, it's in your cart, because *self-love is important too*.

Kids are the ultimate detachment trainers. You buy them a toy, and they play with the box instead. You prepare a meal, and they decide that today, air is more nutritious. You expect a thank-you? Forget it. Just let go.

Detachment doesn’t mean giving up too easily. Even in relationships, when things get difficult, instead of making an effort to communicate, adjust, or grow together, many choose to walk away too soon. Divorce has become a common escape, almost a trend, rather than a last resort. While detachment is necessary when something truly isn’t working, it’s equally important to know when to hold on, when to work through challenges, and when to nurture what matters.

Another powerful thought on detachment comes from *Tuesdays with Morrie*:

“Detachment doesn’t mean you don’t let the experience penetrate you. On the contrary, you let it penetrate you fully. That’s how you are able to leave it. Take any emotion—love for a woman, or grief for a loved one, or what I’m going through, fear and pain from a deadly illness. If you hold back on emotions—if you don’t allow yourself to go all the way through them—you can never get to being detached, you’re too busy being afraid. You’re afraid of the pain, you’re afraid of the grief. You’re afraid of the vulnerability that loving entails.”

So, whether it’s joy, sorrow, love, or loss, the goal isn’t to shut yourself off but to allow emotions to flow through you—without getting stuck in them.

Try detachment, if attachment hurts.

Let’s be honest: We can’t be fully detached all the time. But we can practice small moments of letting go — like not losing our minds over a traffic jam or a missed road - wrongly directed by google map or resisting the urge to check our phone every 30 seconds.

Detachment isn’t about shutting down; it’s about feeling deeply, then stepping back with wisdom. Because in the end, the tighter you grip, the more things slip away.