Delete Sheet Rows

If your life were an Excel spreadsheet, what would be in its columns and its rows? I was wondering this as I drove home, having just put in four hours of data entry at the non-profit agency where I volunteer.

The organization had recently sent out an appeal letter asking for donations to help support “aging well” in our island community – a necessary consideration when living on an island with limited medical care and social services. As is the case with any sort of bulk mailing, letters were returned for incomplete or incorrect addresses, changes of residence, and, in some cases, deaths during the previous year.

Upon arriving at the center that day, I was handed a shoebox filled with envelopes that had been returned for the various reasons mentioned above. It was my assignment to edit the organization’s mailing list on an Excel spreadsheet so that future mailings would be updated. It wasn’t until I got to the bundle labeled “Delete” that I realized a sizable number of the previous year’s elder members and donors had passed away.

A variety of notes were scrawled across the face of the returned envelopes to denote a person’s passing: Deceased . . . No longer alive . . . Departed the planet . . . My father transitioned in July . . . Bertie died this year but you knew that. This sort of thing. One envelope was as succinct as it could be: This person is dead.

My task was to find each person’s name on the spreadsheet, delete the contact information from the mailing list, draw a line through the address label on the face of envelope to indicate the edit had been taken care of, and then build a new stack of envelopes to my left called “Done & Entered.”

As I deleted, crossed out, and placed envelopes on the “Done & Entered” stack, something I can only call “significance” came over me, amplifying my awareness of what I was actually doing. As I highlighted a row with someone’s name and clicked on the Delete Sheet Rows in the top ribbon of commands, I felt like I was casually dishonoring an essential life with the irreverent blitheness of a keystroke. It was reducing someone’s lifetime contributions to the planet into a thoughtless Delete command.

I stopped. I looked at the stack of envelopes already piled in the “Done & Entered” stack and changed my handling of each envelope with a different sense of care. As I read each person’s name and address, I wondered what kind of life he or she had experienced. Were they musicians, artists, welders, teachers, truck drivers, writers, baristas, chocolatiers? Public figures, homemakers, philanthropists, grocery clerks, mechanics? Mothers, fathers, sisters, brothers, wives, husbands? Did they have families and pets who missed them?

As I looked at each envelope in the stack, I sent their families, friends, and loved ones my virtual sympathies and hoped that they were coping with their grief from losing a loved one. After each one of these mini-celebrations of life, I drew a big heart around each envelope’s hand-scrawled message with a pink highlighter and put the envelope back on the stack that I was now labeling “Honored.”

Delete Sheet Rows . . . During my daily dog walk later that afternoon, the Excel entry work from the morning stayed with me. I started to wonder: If my life were an Excel spreadsheet, what would be in its columns and its rows? Later that evening when the house was quiet, I pulled up Excel on my laptop.

How to Journal with an Excel Spreadsheet

Across the top row of the spreadsheet, I randomly labeled boxes with my priority categories: people, dreams, goals, favorite activities, work, projects, meditation, fitness, journaling, etc. There was nothing organized or ordered with this labeling. I just tabbed and listed what was near and dear to me across the top row.

I eventually had to rein myself in as I realized how impossibly far my columns were stretching to the east. Having to tab ad infinitum to the right was not going to make future journaling fun, so I started to organize columns into broader categories.

As I categorized my columns, it became clear that the spreadsheet was turning into a focus wheel – only in the form of a graph. Eventually, by condensing the number of columns to eight, I was able to really focus on what I wanted to prioritize this next year. I called these my “Priority Columns.”

After skipping the first column (to allow for listing my activities and such in the rows below), my Priority Columns were labeled across the top line in columns 2-9:

1. relationships

2. health & exercise

3. dreams & goals

4. music & art

5. mindfulness

6. writing

7. play & fun

8. learning

I then started to list activities, creative efforts, wanting, dreaming, and conceptualizing down the first column on the left that I had reserved for “Actions & Experiences.” (Examples: go to spin class, play mandolin, call my big brother, meditate, take Bronte for a beach walk, finish writing chapter 3, do an acrylic pour, etc.)

I then typed a number “1” into each box across the row below each Priority Column corresponding with what this “action/experience” row item incorporated. This was to allow for auto-summing columns later so I could assess my “tangibility” of focus.

For example, an afternoon of painting ceramic pots at a local pottery shop with my two best friends translated into entering a “1” across the row under six Priority Columns: relationships, dreams & goals (we talked a lot about this topic as we painted), music & art, mindfulness (another great part of the afternoon), play & fun, and learning. It occurred to me that by raising my awareness, this experience embraced a lot of boxes for what I had perceived to be a singular activity.

Results and Discoveries

Research shows that engaging in reflection will boost and grow your memory and – as a huge bonus – enrich the quality of an experience. I discovered that the recording and the categorizing of my experiences on the spreadsheet served as this “enriching reflection.” And to carry it forward, by having these columns of focus spread out on an Excel spreadsheet, I could really embrace and grow my awareness of what was undeniably my life’s priorities and remind myself to stay focused and balanced.

By looking at – and really studying – the spreadsheet, I began to feel a renewed motivation to feel more engaged, proactive, and balanced . . . and not just let life slip into what has been a tendency to become “default mode.” I grew more proactive about how I focused my time. I organized a fun activity to do with friends that involved seven of the columns. While the goal is certainly not about simply checking off as many boxes as possible, it is about paying attention to what makes life feel balanced by incorporating preferences into memorable moments. In other words: Put some conscious effort into life. Become more aware.

What I Learned

What really came out of my “Study in Excel” is realizing how long it had been since I had taken the time to plan for priorities and to follow through by becoming more proactive and conscious about how universally these bursts of focus bless my life.

It showed that I had been slipping into the role of passive talking – and sometimes complaining – and away from that of an active being. I had somewhere along life’s timeline given myself permission to succumb to the numbing acceptance of "Whatever" and, even worse, to an expression that I really do NOT like: "It is what it is." I was ignoring any prompts of dissatisfaction to take more control of my choices in life – inspiring me to steer my time into my mighty Priority Columns of 8 and beyond.

Excel-ing my life

This exercise of Excel-ing my life far surpassed my initial curiosity that first night of musing and journaling. It has grown to guide, to inspire, and to humble me, and I create a new spreadsheet when all evidence points to me slipping into “Sleepwalk Mode.”

My name and address on an envelope may someday become a Delete Sheet Rows keystroke in some organization’s mailing list . . . but to the people who are important to me? I want them to feel the significance of their names and our shared experiences listed over and over on my life’s spreadsheet and to understand and to feel the beautiful meaning that their essence, time, and love have infused into my life.

Truth, we are far, far more than the sum of any rows and columns on a spreadsheet. It is the little things in living that make for a life fulfilled. By living a life infused with more intention and connecting the dots between relationships and actions, we can better appreciate the time that we have during our time on planet Earth and with the people we love.