What a Friendship with a Homeless Man Taught Me About Life

It was a cold blustery day when I first met Rafferty.

He was sitting outside a shop, in a rather derelict part of town.

He looked in his 50s, but could have been 35 for all I knew. He was smiling and saying good morning to all who passed him.

No one responded. Not even me.

I went to grab my coffee and a bacon roll. As I left the shop a sudden chill in the air hit me. It was then I looked back at Rafferty, still there saying good morning to all.

As I got close to him I felt the snow flutter down and touch my skin. I handed Rafferty my coffee and bacon roll. “Are you sure?” he said. “Yeah, it’s b***dy freezing,” I replied. “Hopefully this will give you some warmth.”

He smiled and gave thanks. I was grumpy as I needed coffee and I had just given mine away!

I thought giving was supposed to make you feel happier - I resented my kindness.

The daily acknowledgement

After that day, every morning for nearly a year we would have a little chat. Then every evening Rafferty would tell me a new joke as he waved goodbye to me.

I learned a little more about Rafferty every day. Life had not always been like this for him.

He had a job once, even worked as a supervisor for a bit. He had a beautiful family and a dog he missed. His sense of humor, spoken lingo, and the tattoo on his hand gave a little hint that he may have been in the services at one stage.

“Shit happens” was his catchphrase.

A combination of bad luck, failed relationships, and unhelpful coping mechanisms had landed him with a crash onto the streets.

He had dreams, plans, and used to live in a three-bed townhouse.

The Gift

“Look I found a pound, go to the shop and get me a chocolate bar,” Rafferty said excitedly.

‘They’, the shop owners, didn’t like him going into the building. Even when he did try to pay!

“Okay, what do you want?” I asked. “Whatever your fave is?” he replied. “Do you have nut allergies?” I asked. He just laughed.

Coming back from the shop I was just about to launch the chocolate bar at him — he knew not to take it personally. This is how I hand stuff to my family I once explained to him.

“No, that’s for you!” Rafferty smirked. I felt bad, I tried to hand it to him. I couldn’t take food from a homeless person. I was seriously sinking to a new low.

He smiled. “My time to treat your kindness, my dear,” he said. He looked so happy that he was able to do this. I said, “Are you sure?” He nodded.

“Thank you.” I smiled.

I never saw him again after that.

Rafferty was just gone. Vanished into thin air.

Gone, but not forgotton

I didn’t know what had happened but only could assume the worst or that the police had moved him on.

Although I hoped that he had made use of the leaflets I had given to him and got some support. I mean I did nag him enough to contact them.

I learned a lot from Rafferty...

Rafferty taught me gratitude and to be humble.

He taught me that one could smile in the face of adversity.

He showed me kindness.

He taught me some pretty rude jokes that I shan’t be repeating here!

He gave when he didn’t really have anything to give.

I can honestly say he helped me become a better person. Less selfish as he taught me to share, he helped me to become less grumpy and judgemental and appreciate what I have.

Rafferty, I am proud to say, was my friend, an unlikely friendship in a messed up world. Where people are judged on different values based on the job, family name, and circumstance.

Oh, what the world would be if we judged a person’s worth more on their heart than on material possessions and wealth.

So, in the self-help world don’t just learn from the best, learn from those that are smiling in the face of hardships (which of course most successful people have had experience with) and despite all the bad can still show kindness to others.

Thank you Rafferty.