To Whom It May Concern...

May 17th, 2025

To: My Brain

Dear sir, madam, or other:

I am writing to you today to inform you that I am done. I quit. I give up. Life in general has not been very kind to me lately, and frankly I believe it is entirely your fault. For the past thirty-odd years I have been your faithful and compliant punching bag, taking the lumps you have doled out with very little fuss. From this moment henceforth, however, I have elected to unzip the sandbag you have trapped me in and resign wholeheartedly from that position.

My grievances with how unfairly you have treated me extend far into the earliest moments of my childhood. Unfortunately, my opinion of your actions from that period may be slightly biased, because I do not remember much of it. The few clear memories I have as a child are all quite negative, which you are undoubtedly responsible for.

Your ceaseless wandering had earned me many scoldings and lectures over the years from my parents as well as several teachers. Because of your inability to focus on important details and listen to instruction during critical moments, I suffered endless humiliation, frustration, and emotional distress both internally and externally. In short, you made me feel foolish and incompetent, which created the foundation for many anxieties, fears, and inadequacies I still carry today. On top of everything, you have the gall to remind me of those unsavory moments at the most inconvenient times, seemingly just to rub salt in the wound.

The older I grew, the more grievous your abusive actions toward me have become. Because of you, I spent my early teens in a constant state of agitation. Instead of allowing me to process my emotions in a healthy fashion, you forced me to stay silent and internalize them until they reached a boiling point and exploded. Your immaturity and inflammatory behavior cursed me with a short temper, which my classmates exploited mercilessly for their own entertainment. I still have not forgiven you for the moniker "Snapping Turtle" they bestowed upon me, nor will I ever just in case there was any doubt. Through years of discipline and sheer will, I have managed to curb the anger you cursed me with, but - again - the scars you left behind have yet to finish healing.

Although I left the majority of my bullies behind in middle school, the worst of them all continues to occupy my skull. Living in the anxious and high stress environment you have created for me has been devastating to my mental and physical health, leaving me with crippling fears of disappointment, failure, and socializing. As a result, my weight continues to fluctuate and I am all but incapable of getting a good night's rest. I have become a prisoner to myself, fighting a constant, uphill battle with depression over my perceived inadequacies. Every day, you force me to discover a new flaw within myself, whether it be an aspect of my appearance or a shortcoming of my mental or emotional capacity. Although I am ashamed to admit it, you have made me ponder what use I really am to society, and if this world would be a better one if I weren't in it anymore.

Today, I have finally reached my limit. Your influence has left me too afraid to be the person I really am. You have convinced me that I will not be liked or accepted by those around me, that I will once again appear weird or foolish or immature. That fear you have given me is the worst offense of all, because it has prevented me from doing many things I would have enjoyed in the past and stunted my ability to communicate my true feelings to those I love most. You have caused me to suffer greatly, and made me too fearful to utter a single word about it aloud.

With this letter, I resign from everything. I resign from these soul-crushing feelings of inadequacy, and from the many fears you have instilled in my heart as a means to control me. I refuse to remain silent and submissive to your abuse any longer, to feel that I'm worthless and not good enough to be accepted by society for who I am. I bite my thumb at you, sir, madam, or other, and cast off the shackles you have forced me to lock myself in.

You may believe that this resignation is temporary; that within a few days of submitting it - should I even possess the courage to do so - I will return to you on my knees, begging you to restore my position. I can assure you that I will not. I know that I'm not perfect: I'm clumsy, and flabby, and a bit of a childish oddball at times... and I'm learning to be okay with that. It will be a process, and that process will likely not be easy or comfortable, but it is a journey I am willing to take.

Thank you for your time, and please don't let the door hit you on your way out.

Sincerely,

Me