This is the Most Underrated Skill

The one skill I am going to talk about now, that one skill remains quietly overlooked yet undeniably transformative. From Socrates to Gandhi, from Lincoln to Thich Nhat Hanh, history’s greatest minds have mastered it, wielding it to unite nations, inspire revolutions, and heal broken hearts.

Before i tell you more about the skill , let me share three inspiring stories .

During the Civil War, President Abraham Lincoln was often approached by soldiers and citizens seeking his counsel. On one occasion, a man poured out his frustrations about personal issues to Lincoln late into the night. After patiently listening, Lincoln offered no advice but thanked him for sharing. The man later remarked that Lincoln’s attentive silence was all he needed to feel lighter and more confident.

During the Great Depression, Franklin D. Roosevelt transformed how leaders communicated by delivering radio broadcasts known as “fireside chats.” While these were primarily speeches, Roosevelt’s ability to listen to the concerns of citizens before addressing them made people feel connected and valued. Letters poured into the White House from people who felt heard despite never meeting him.

Mahatma Gandhi was known not just for his actions but for his ability to listen deeply. When he met with people from different walks of life — farmers, industrialists, and even adversaries — he made them feel heard. His ability to listen to the struggles of ordinary people shaped his strategies for India’s independence movement, making it deeply rooted in empathy and inclusion.

I think you guessed it right , that one skill is “LISTENING”.

In the age of social media, everyone wants to talk, but few want to listen. Conversations often become competitions to dominate rather than dialogues to understand. This has led to:

Misunderstandings in relationships.

Poor leadership decisions due to lack of input.

Missed opportunities for learning and growth.

Yet, as history shows, great leaders and thinkers — from Socrates to Nelson Mandela — have attributed their success to their ability to truly listen.

Stephen R. Covey, in The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, observed:

“Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply.”

Carl Rogers, a pioneer in psychology, emphasized:

“When I really listen, I hear not only the words but the person themselves.”

Thich Nhat Hanh, a Zen master, spoke of its healing power:

“Deep listening is the kind of listening that can help relieve the suffering of another person.”

These are some of the quotes which i like on listening , but now how can we learn this skill .Here I'm sharing four ways i use personally to practice this skill.

1. Practice Active Listening

Active listening is the cornerstone of meaningful communication. It requires you to be fully present in the conversation. Put aside distractions — silence your phone, close your laptop, or step away from a noisy environment. Instead of formulating your response while the other person is speaking, focus on their words, tone, and body language.

2. Ask Clarifying Questions

Instead of assuming or jumping to conclusions, ask thoughtful, clarifying questions. For example, phrases like, “Can you tell me more about that?” or “What do you mean when you say…?” show your genuine curiosity and intent to understand.

3. Be Comfortable with Silence

In conversations, silence is often mistaken for awkwardness or disinterest. However, it can be a powerful tool for deeper understanding. By not rushing to fill every pause, you give the speaker time to collect their thoughts, reflect, and perhaps share something more profound.

4. Reflect Before Responding

Summarize or paraphrase their key points: “So, what I hear you saying is…” or “It sounds like you’re feeling… Is that right?” This approach not only confirms your understanding but also gives the speaker an opportunity to clarify or elaborate further.

So are you going to practice this skill , Let me know your thoughts on this .