The Last Load

Dear Laundry-

We've had a good run, but I'm afraid it's time we part ways. The truth is, this job has become a nearly impossible, endless task and, while I appreciate the job security, I need to find more balance in life. I can't continue to plan weekend events around swapping loads. You've over taken everything and I just need to do something else with my precious time.

But as we say goodbye, I want to thank you. In the beginning, it was fun. I have fond memories of the early days when my sister and I were apprenticing under the careful tutelage of our mother. I'm wistful of those summer mornings we would binge watch MTV or Nickelodeon, surrounded by piles of multi-colored mismatched socks (the ultimate jigsaw puzzle) and baskets of towels that needed folding. I will always cherish those Friday evening dates at the Laundromat playing board games while I waited on washing machines and dryers with my husband when we were still newlyweds. The early days of motherhood when folding loads of laundry included adorable teeny tiny socks, onesies, and tees still make me smile.

But the truth is, I still have nightmares of dealing with the aftermath of diaper blowouts and potty training accidents. And don't even get me started on the horror of middle of the night emergency laundry loads that were preceded by the haunting cry, “Momma, my tummy hurts!” I got through those dark times with the hope that my little ones were fast approaching the days they could begin to apprentice under me, sharing the burden and making things easier. The idea makes me laugh bitterly now! I was so naïve.

Sure they help.

They are incredibly adept at spreading socks, underwear, tees, and pj's throughout the house and yard. Just the other day, I dug up a singular sock while weeding my tulip garden! And it was mine, stolen, misappropriated, and lost by one of my precious little apprentices!

They happily have taken responsibility for washing their own clothes. Oh, but how I wish they would also dry their own clothes rather than forgetting them for hours so when I try to wash my own load I first have to re-wash their sour smelling jeans and shirts. But, that's preferable to them removing the load from the washer to start their own. I wouldn't mind if they simply put the previous load into the dryer, but no, I regularly find a sodden pile of towels or sheets heaped on the floor beside the washing machine because there was something in the dryer, no empty baskets available, and that seemed the most logical solution to my little “helpers.” Heaven forbid they actually empty the baskets that are already full of their own clothing!

Is it really too much to ask for a team that is willing to hang up, fold, and put away their own clean clothes? It doesn't matter if they wash them or I do, the clothes never seem to make it out of the baskets. Even when I take the time to nicely fold them as I remove the articles from the dryer, once I hand the basket off to the owner of said clothing nothing else happens! The clothing just sits, untouched in the basket until it is worn. That might not bother me so much if I didn't routinely find perfectly folded clothing in the bottom of dirty clothes hampers. I have more than enough to keep me busy without rewashing perfectly clean clothes just because they can't be bothered to take them out of the basket and put them in the drawer.

I'm drowning in piles upon piles upon piles of dirty towels, sheets, blankets, shirts, socks, undies, pants, coats… A situation further exacerbated by the little one's insistence on using his sleeves as a napkin and the inexplicable urge of the eldest to treat towels as single use items tossed onto the floor immediately after the very first use. And don't even get me started on the clothes that don't fit right. To me, it seems the most logical course of action when coming across a shirt that has gotten a little too tight would be to put it in the designated "too small" bin. But for some reason, he thinks its best to put it back into the laundry cycle. Toss it in the hamper so it can be cleaned again, then next week he can try to put it on again and start all over with the hamper.

I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!!!

This situation is out of control. There's undies in the bathroom, socks in the garden, t-shirts in the pantry. I'm haven't opened the coat closet in weeks for fear that I'll be buried in a pile of soggy mittens, jackets, and snow pants stashed behind the door at the end of winter.

So, I'm done. I'm giving up and throwing in the towel (used just the one time). There will be no more loads of laundry washed by me. I have much better things to do with my time and energy.

Oh, shoot. I'm out of clean socks. Okay, just one more load and that's it.

I'm going to have to finish the towels that are in the washer and I'm going to have to sort through my clothes to wash my socks so I might as well get all my clothes washed. But that's it. Nothing else.

Well, maybe I'll just get everything caught up and then...

Fine. You win. I'll see you Saturday morning.

Sincerely,

Just an Average Mother