The key to forgiveness

“Forgiveness is our key to freeing us from the prison of our anger”

I reiterate this so many times because I feel it’s importance and relevance to so many of us.

How would you respond at a red traffic light a stranger accidentally ran into the back of your car?

Would you be angry or would you go to see if they are ok?

Human before car or car before human?

What do you perceive to be most important to you at that time?

Some time ago I had carelessly left my guitar sitting on the couch, a young fast growing teenager unaware of his proprioception had accidentally stumbled and damaged it.

Whilst his mother was angry at him for yet again damaging something without a second delay he felt gut wrenching guilt despite the damage being a scratch.

The only thing that was on my mind was “is he ok?”

I continued to his room that he went to hide in to see if it was ok, to reassure him that everything is ok. Scratched or broken guitar’s are replaceable, humans aren’t.

Forgiveness wasn’t even a question, it was a desperate need to save a life.

An important time to be forgiving, there was a time I went to a bar, I was talking to a lady and a Viking of a man whom was drunk got jealous and threatened me, he got REALLY angry and although I did not believe him at the time he wanted to bash me down. As his anger was increasing I decided it was time to remove myself from the equation and constant anger can have an adverse effect on our blood, keeping everyone safe was most important. He was removed from premises when the authorities came. A week later I went to a different bar and I was told by a local the same man wanted to speak to me. I was eager to see him again with an open mind. He said 2 words, "I'm sorry" without delay I accepted his apology and he offered to buy me a drink, I kindly declined and returned the offer. We became good mates after that! He is a great guy, it's just unfortunate to see what alcohol does to our perception and our suffering"

I remember a time I was walking in the street of a main road surrounded by shops. I was on the way to teach little kids self defence. A man in a Ute was looking at me as he drove by I looked at him. Unknown to me he had parked his Ute, gotten out and walked up behind me to push me up against the wall. As surprised as I was at early hours in the morning I put my arms up with a coffee in my hand and asked him if he was ok. I instantly felt this man was in an ocean of emotional pain, this had nothing to do with me despite his anger he was suffering.

I had no idea what this man was going through, so I reassured him that everything is going to be ok. “Take a deep breath” I said, “and let it out slowly”

“I have to keep going I told him”

We went our separate ways

I don’t know what this man was going through but he was definitely having a rough day or two.

About a week or two later I saw this man at my work in a Cafe sitting at a table. Once our eyes connect he smiled at me, with the type of smile that was grateful and thankful like he was saying thankyou without speaking.

It was in this moment I knew I had helped him somehow. Perhaps he just needed to release his anger without it coming back at him. I couldn’t help but wonder what might have happened to him had it been anyone else pushed up against the wall. Would have they reacted any differently? Would have they reacted aggressively or benevolent? Just how important is it to be forgiving in this moment for both parties involved?

We have a choice, either to be unforgiving that will evolve into unforgiving weight on shoulders or to forgive ourselves and our surroundings that will free us from the prison of our anger.