The hardest truth

In philosophical research, it is important to define words in the first place. I always think of love or calling as something we should do in life, without it we would be miserable most of the time.

That's a very high expectation, of course.

I cannot count the number of days, weeks, and years I have spent researching what my true love could be. Name the test and I'm sure I took it. Meer-Briggs Type Indicator? Yup, many times. ISTJ exists?

The Strong Interest Inventory was eliminated more than once, too. Florist, I think.

I even paid a lot of money to negotiate an hour with Barbara Shear. Barbara may have been able to help in the end, but I could not spend more time with her.

I bought online “courses” from so-called experts to help me figure out what my calling was. These were all very similar to boilerplate questions. What can you talk about for hours? What has been your lifelong dream? What do you do that makes the time pass without you noticing? What do you want to know about it?

My answers are as follows:

Politics and religion

Spending the summer in the Black Woods

Clean my house, or the car, or cut the grass (Does the word Felix Unger mean anything to you?)

I'm curious about tons of stuff. . . including flower arrangement

Is any of this my wish? Not really. I don’t feel I would be completely miserable if I don’t do anything or all this over and over again. And again, maybe I don't really understand the question.

When we ask ourselves what our passion is, are we asking what career / career we should pursue, and make money from, that we will feel passionate about at the same time?

Many people have jobs that do not belong to them but still feel very satisfied. They may feed their love on weekends or evenings.

Some of us; however, they are determined to find that one true calling. What we want to be able to do for a living, something we can be passionate about. Work that we would agree to do for free, as long as we could get it.

I used to be this last type. I believed there was something I was destined to do and I just needed to find out what this "thing" was. I should have just pulled it out of the parts that are under my mind, where it was planted under the age of agreement with the meeting.

When, after all the personal tests and the money spent on consultation, I could not express my love, I began to wonder why it did not bother me. I was bored and emotionally exhausted that my search was a stupid job?

So I stopped searching and tried to regain my former job, but I paid off my debts. Eventually, however, the desire to find something meaningful and engaging rekindled.

While I recently expressed my frustration at the blog I was following, the blogger pointed me to an article he had written about his struggle with the same question. In his speech, he described himself as a scattered personality and sent me to another blog for people like us!

What I learned was that I was a polymath, what I would previously have called a Renaissance man. Or, to use a new word I learned, Multipotentialite.

Multipotentialite rings are very real to me as a person with a lot of energy in life. Just think, where I was looking for one phone, now I find that I have many!

It was a revelation! Here's a simple answer to my face, which I don't think is what I've been looking for all this time. It was also a confirmation that I was not an unusual mistake. Well, we don't have one thing that moves us. What motivates us is the desire to keep learning new things. That description suits me. Sounds right. I can work with that.

I have realized that my calling is that I do not have a calling, I can finally move forward and accept my new love. I can begin to build on the many experiences I have had because of my love of reading.

You, too, may be on a mission to find your love. I would not recommend that you stop! We all need to find that answer. Just know that there may be more than one.

What tools have you used to help you open up your love?