Taylor Swift's 'You're Losing Me' Hurts So Good

I can't get enough of listening to Taylor Swift's Midnights bonus track titled "You're Losing Me," released May 26, 2023 as part of her epic Eras Tour.

As a long-time Swiftie, I feel the brunt of the song not just because of purported rumors of everything that went on between Taylor and ex-boyfriend Joe Alwyn but because the lyrics, as always, hit the hardest.

Ever since 2020's pandemic surprise release of Folklore, I've been standing at the altar of Swift. It's almost like she's a muse from the way she can shape-shift herself into all kinds of versions of herself, all beautiful and powerful in their own ways. But this song is vulnerable. This song paints Swift as a phoenix that almost gets buried in its own ashes, and you can easily picture the kind of love that made this relationship so special for its duration.

I have this kind of love in my life. We've known each other over ten years. I wait on crumbs from this person and wonder what they do in all the time they're away from me. I know not to ask, not to pry, not to step over the boundary lines carefully set in stone. Every time I've tried to bridge the gap, they've stepped away from me. I miss this person so much and wonder why they never saw me pining for them in the dark. It's as if they've gotten to the point that they tolerate me rather than show me real depth of feeling.

It sounds so insane, but Taylor gets it. "You're Losing Me" is the ode for all of us - men and women alike - who have been waiting on the ones we love to revive us. We watch as our pulses deplete down to almost nothing as the heart monitors cry in the background. We don't want these loves to die, but they're beginning to fray like threads of a fate no longer possible.

My love language has always been through words. I don't know how many stories and poems I've penned for this person. They could number the night sky for all I know. But I never heard, "I love you," from them. Letters could be signed "with all my love" or "much love" - but nothing ever concrete. But I'm afraid to reach for more.

They stopped listening for the poems, the stories, the letters. They got caught up in their own head too much and left me to stand by myself on a hill. Everything began to fade into the background, and I got lost in a labyrinth of my own making. I don't know if they even really hear me anymore. They're too caught up in their own pain, their own stressors, their own demons. I'm a sad song left on the cutting room floor.

How can you say you love someone you don't know is dying? I was so close to the point of death claiming me. This person, this special person who was my eternal cheerleader, has no idea. I don't know if they'd even care. My heart breaks when I think of them. I know they're out on adventures and quests, but I miss being in the warmth of their glow.

Lose something, babe. Risk something. I know I'm blaming them needlessly. How can I ever hope to reclaim what's been lost? What am I hoping to gain? What if instead I'm the one who loses something, who breaks something, who fails to revive a heartbeat from ruin?

What can you do but move on? What can you do but try to salvage something from the flames?

Am I losing, or am I being lost instead? Where does one begin, and where does the other end?

I got nothing to believe unless you're choosing me. Maybe I'm wrong about it all. Maybe I'm just overthinking this whole thing. Or maybe I'm right, maybe I'm taking flight for new pastures, maybe I'm just hurting over these small things that won't matter in the grand scheme of the universe.

I think I want them to fight for me, but right now they aren't. They can't. Maybe this push-and-pull relationship was never good enough for them. Maybe it's another fallacy I've conocted in my brain.

I cry without quite knowing why.

I linger on long-lost words as if they can cast the die for the future for me.

I take my prayers and hold them to my heart and wish they could reach someone beyond this sphere.

Maybe my love never knew me after all. Maybe they just thought I was going to move on, find a great love, and take to some other kind of life. Maybe they wanted that for me. Maybe they thought they weren't good enough for me.

I don't know because they won't talk to me. Over and over and over I'm languishing. Over and over and over I'm slipping down a rabbit hole where they'll never be able to follow.

I didn't think they were a possibility. I didn't think they were ever an option.

I just assumed that they were going to fade away - like they're doing now - just like everyone else had.

The stories stopped. The letters stopped. The heartbeat is stopping.

What can we do to salvage any of it? What can I hope to do?

I'm penning this, tears falling, because I feel so lost.

I knew the story long ago, but everyone tried to stop me from telling it.

I tell myself the story has a happy ending, but I don't know anymore.

What am I doing, hoping for more but knowing I'll never receive anything in return?

I guess this is a selfless love. I guess this is a phoenix's love. I guess this is the kind of love that spans generations, legacies, maybe even dynasties.

But I don't want to hurt in the process.

Don't lose me.

Instead, let me keep you now.

Isn't that the whole point?