humor
Workplace witticisms, job jokes and career quips; who says work can't be a laughing matter?
Big Cars and Bursting Bras
I see that both MI5 (Domestic Terrorism) and MI6 (Overseas Operations) are openly advertising for new recruits via the internet and broadsheet newspapers, in a break from the tradition of selecting their new intake from public schools and top universities. I guess that it had to happen; if you keep plumbing the depths of only certain institutions, you eventually get to the dregs, and who really wants our security safeguarded by second-raters?
By david layzelle6 years ago in Journal
I Think I'm Paranoid
I have a new job writing about conspiracy theories… Or, do I? Maybe it’s actually that I have been selected to do it by The Illuminati, that well-known international group of world domineers, who want to get me off the scene in case I ask too many awkward questions. Perhaps the job was put up only on my version of the freelance website that I use—it must be pretty easy to do, with known IP addresses—so that I pick it up and not look too closely at the fact that the world is owned by The Illuminati! Perhaps I’m just paranoid.
By david layzelle6 years ago in Journal
Surviving Home Remodels - This Time, It's Personal!
I have upset my house painter. I have. I didn’t mean to, I just needed to have something done very fast, because I only have a 26-hour turn around. Did I insist that he did it? No. That’s not me. Even if I pay you, I often feel very bad asking you to do what I pay you to, because, polite. Yes, this makes no sense. Most of the time people want to do what they’re hired to do. I have been in a couple of careers where I’ve done a lot of things for free, because I was so desperate to do it one day for money. No, I was not a prostitute. Have I been treated like an unpaid prostitute at work? Sure. But that’s a very different story. I worked in my career choices for free sometimes, because I wanted to be in a friend’s project, I wanted them to be in mine, or it was just plain fun.
By Camilla Rantsen6 years ago in Journal
Nightmares of Working in Retail Ch. 1
With my awkward social skills, it’s no surprise to most people that I work in retail. When you go shopping, you can almost always bet that you’ll run into an incompetent sales person when you need help. Or, frankly, you don’t want anyone to talk to you. This I can understand as a shopper, because I don’t need your help finding a piece of clothing that’s going to look good on my awkwardly-shaped body. That’s basically a fruitless effort. The answer is nothing, so don’t lead me to the trendy oversized tee shirts, or the ripped mom jeans that don’t hug in any of my good places. My sales persona is a completely different beast. I’m going to bug you about all of your deepest desires and passions, all while wearing a beautiful smile on my face that is only genuine about 50 percent of the time. Good days usually afford me a confrontation or two. I’m going to start telling you about them. While I do my best to not say no to my customers, there are sometimes where you’ll catch me doing the job I am more than happy to be doing.
By Anita Drink6 years ago in Journal
Chasing Happy
It's Monday. I've gone for a walk, had a smoothie for breakfast, and I settle into my home office to make my list for my work day. Sounds good and balanced, looks productive, but one simple task tumbles into another, and one on top of that, and then circled back, oh and remembering to not forget—and I seem to 'and' my day away.
By Debi Hammond6 years ago in Journal
How Looking for a New Job Feels Like Looking for Love
Looking for a new job is like dating. For some people, dating and searching for jobs is an exciting enterprise. For me, both are tedious and soul-crushing. Whichever kind of person you are, it’s easy to see the parallels between searching for a new job or a new partner.
By Mimi Sonner8 years ago in Journal
Why Poor People Party Properly - My Own Private Poverty - Rich Versus Poor
Sometimes, I find that I love my own poverty too much, and it never fails to fill me with shame. No-one can take away my ability to end up with nothing. I work, I’m poor. I claimed benefits, I’m poor, I’ve broken the law and I still ended up poor. I’ve been poorer. Homeless at times, if you don’t count living on sofas as a housed situation. It is though. Our sofa surfers, in the United Kingdom, are kept from the streets by the kindness of beautiful souls.
By Johnny Vedmore8 years ago in Journal
