Stop Being Afraid of Yourself

I resign from being afraid of my talents, feeling like I was never good enough to succeed, all I ever heard from people was, “What will you do, if you don’t win that competition? If it’s not making money, why are you doing it? I wasn’t able to do it, so what makes you think you can? The truth is, “I am not like you, I am me, and I know what I am capable of achieving and doing. If I don’t win, it’s not because I wasn’t enough, it was because there was someone out there with a smarter idea and that’s okay”.

I believe that learning comes in all shapes and sizes, it takes time to learn a new skill, it takes time to the best at something. As they say, “practice makes perfect”, people who win gold medals in swimming, train and time their speed. It’s not to say that those who won silver and bronze aren’t any good, it just means that there is someone better than you and next time, you’ll try harder than the last time.

That’s what I want to do, I want to stop listening to people who do not believe in me and believe in what I can do. The people who are always cheering me on, those are the people I want in my corner. They are the people who will say, “It’s okay, try again, or see what that person did to win, and make it your own for next time”. It’s about applying new skills and making it as your own to create something better.

By this, it means do your own research and see what’s already out there, see what’s the latest trend, and how you can improve it and still make it relevant. “I want to stop being afraid of things I know I am good at, because why be afraid of what you can do, when you should be afraid of what you won’t do?”.

Remember, it’s okay to be afraid, it’s okay to think that something won’t work but what if it does work? What if it makes your life better than what it was before? You’ve got nothing to lose; you only lose if you don’t try and do it.

I want to stop being afraid of letting go of my day care job, when I first stated it was great, but now decades later and it’s not for me. While I have been working on things such as creating content for travel and business brands, writing stories, and using my photography skills to capture my travels, the aim is to make this a full-time job. At the same time, I am afraid to let go, maybe it was the way I grew up, in Eastern cultures, parents always say, “You need to have a secure job for your future”.

By secure job this means a full-time job in teaching, nursing, be a doctor, a lawyer or engineer, but why can’t I be both? Be a creative who uses the skills learnt from academic culture and turn it into something different? Well, that’s what I did, I used my applied knowledge of Criminology and Politics to advocate for something bigger in the fashion industry. We’ve been empowering models to take a stand against sexual assault, against being different, against being left out because they did not fit the status quo.

This is what is motivating to me, especially when my other parent used to say, “try new things, don’t limit yourself.” Now, I am now seen in magazines for my travel photography, seen on the covers of books I have co-authored for storytelling and sharing my personal experiences, and featured with brands for not only creating content, but now a representative of a brand. So, you see, it can be done, your beliefs and talents aren’t a waste if you believe in yourself.

But there are days where I feel like this is taking time, I just want to a decent lump sum of money like I did when I worked my day care job. Then I realise, “Is this what I want to do for the rest of my life? Is working in the day care going to make me happy?”. The answer is “no”, why stop doing what is already working? Why stop trying when I’m almost there.

See it’s harder than you think, it’s hard because some people don’t believe in you and it can be the closest people to you, it can people who you thought would always be there for you. The truth is no matter who they are, you need to believe in you, you need to believe in what you do, and you need to believe it is working.

Say to yourself, “I am the master of my life and no one else is going to stop me, I am going to make a difference, I can do things people wish they could do or want to do; I am doing things that people only dream of doing, and that’s the difference”. Self-belief is hard, but what’s harder is if you don’t do it or try and do it. It doesn’t have to be perfect the first time, it’s all about trial and error, it’s all about making mistakes and improving them. As I said, “practice makes perfect” and you have the ability to do this.

From now on, I will say to myself, “I resign from letting my fears get the best of me, I resign from letting my talents go to waste when I know it’s already working”. Remember, don’t stop if it’s already working, don’t stop if you are making progress, slow progress is good progress. Every little step counts, every little step makes the dream come true”.

Just believe in you.