Spirit Resurrected

One of the most difficult questions I ever had to answer when I was a child was a rather simple one: what do you want to do when you grow up? The problem I had wasn’t that I didn’t have an answer, but rather I had answers that were considered radical or virtually impossible. For example, I had the same aspirations of becoming an astronaut like a lot of kids. Following the list as the answer changed over time, it came to include things like musician, artist, and engineer.

Why the numerous changes? When I was asked the question by people I looked up to, I often received rebukes against my choices, rather than encouragement. For example, when I told my grandparents that I wanted to be a musician in a rock band, I was told that it wasn’t a realistic goal and that I should focus on a more “reasonable” career choice. When I said I wanted to be an artist, I was met with a similar response. I was told I wouldn’t make much money as an artist, despite having won multiple awards in art contests in school since as far back as second grade.

I had settled on engineering as a possible profession sometime before high school, which seemed much more reasonable to those I looked up to, despite not having the grades or resources to attend a good school for that profession, let alone nearly no true passion for such a career. Unlike music and art, I had no real talent for engineering, but sought an education in that field nonetheless.

In the end, the most I got out of going to college for that career field was crippling student loan debt. Tuition rates went up when I was almost through my second year of school, exceeding the amounts covered by the loans I received. I couldn’t get any more money together to pay for it, let alone afford rent and basic necessities without obtaining a full time job, of which the prospects were few and far between for a young man just barely into his twenties.

Dejected, I moved back to my hometown with my wife and newborn daughter into my grandfather-in-law’s house, and struggled to find employment. While I was able to find work, it wasn’t anything particularly great or special, or even lucrative. It was, however, enough to get a chance at moving my family into our own place. It took a few years, but we were finally able to get into a house of our own.

With as much as I had achieved, I was still unsatisfied. Most jobs in my town didn’t suit my particular skills set or talents, which had begun to atrophy under the constant strain of 30-40 hour work weeks in customer service fields that allowed for little in the way of independent thought or self-enrichment. What’s worse was the crushing despair and disappointment that followed me home from college was still there, gnawing my soul to shreds until I started to feel as though there was nothing left of the original me. I had fully become nothing more than an automaton built to provide customer service and accept their abuse with a smile.

Fortunately, it wasn’t meant to last. Just when the last spark of life was almost extinguished within me, I did some serious soul-searching. I acknowledged that for the most part, my choice to go to college and pursue a career I didn’t have my heart set on was really just an act of appeasement in order to gain some recognition and praise from people who had no real stake in my future. At last, the bitterness and anger that I carried for so long made sense. The reason why nothing seemed to work out right for me was because I was trying so hard to be somebody I wasn’t meant to be.

At that moment, I vowed to myself that I would begin following my dreams and do whatever it took to make them happen. It was something of a reawakening of the soul, bringing me back from the brink of oblivion with a newfound drive and determination that had once defined me as a person.

The timing was absolutely critical, as my daughter was struggling with her own answer to that despicable question I wrestled with so many years ago. It was time to show her what I had learned from failing so hard for so long: that your answer to that question should reflect what you want to do with your life, not what they want to hear.

She was already coasting down the ladder of concessions, having stated at first that she wanted to become a nurse. I later learned from her guidance counselor at school that her career preference changed from that to becoming a restaurant chef, then waitress, and then finally hitting the bedrock of just selling things at the local swap meet.

I knew my duty as a father. It was time to correct the corrosive damage that had been done to her spirit and reverse it. I helped her nurture and bring her talents up to the surface. After all, she was already a talented artist in her own right since she was very young, and wanted to learn how to do things like animation and writing. My choice to reverse the course of my life and pursue dreams that I had long since buried was no longer just for me, but rather for my family. It wasn’t just a matter of finding a career that I was satisfied with anymore, but rather lighting the way as a pathfinder for my children so they wouldn’t have to struggle to find what took me so many years to discover: that it is still possible to cultivate and enjoy a career that utilizes our God-given talents.

I started by introducing her to what I do for a living and for a hobby and branched out from there, showing her things that other people are creating every single day thanks to the miracle of the world wide web, easy to acquire applications that give people opportunities to create their own amazing works of art and how it’s possible to create and publish everything from written works clear up to animation and cinematography. Together, we researched and drew inspiration from those that became successful artists and writers in this digital age.

It has been absolutely amazing to observe her renewed enthusiasm over the last few months and to see what directions her flourishing imagination has taken her. In a way, sharing in her enthusiasm and accomplishments have not only been vastly rewarding and granted me a personal sense of fulfillment as a parent, but also rekindled my passion for the arts and have inspired me to pick up the pen and brush once more. Thanks to her, my spirit has been resurrected.

Please share this with anyone you know who may be talented beyond belief, but struggling to find their own rewarding and enriching career doing what they love and please consider leaving a tip if this story has brought even just a little light to your day.