Silence is Golden? Not Always

There are times when we need to be silent and times that we need to speak up in any meeting. A successful businessman taught me this through what he said and my own observations of him.

The power balance tipped in your favour

No meeting I have ever been to either internally or externally has ever been a meeting where the power balance is equal. There is always one party with the power balance tipped in their favour. In the case of external meetings with business partners, the one with the most to lose is the weaker. In meetings held internally, subordinates are the ones with less leverage.

It is better to speak up when you have leverage in the relationship. In other words, if the situation is that you have more power going into the meeting than the people you are meeting with. When they have more to lose than you do in that meeting, you are well within your right mind to speak up and make requests.

You may be asking for a special price, or some extra exposure, or a greater investment, whatever it is make your request well reasoned.

Make your request then explain to the other party why you are making the request and how it will benefit both your business and theirs. Don’t bully the other party because you want to keep them onside for the future, never burn your bridges as the saying goes.

By making requests with well-reasoned business advantages for both parties, you have shown that you care about them as much as you do about your business. After all, it is not in your interests to destroy your supplier. The assumption being that the reason you are meeting with them is because you want to remain in business with them.

The power balance tipped against you

When you are the weaker party in the meeting, you don’t have as much leverage, it is better to be quiet and listen. You are listening for anything that the other party says that could be a further opportunity for your business. Ask the other party about their business and where they see the industry going in the future and allow them to wax lyrical. There will be pearls to latch onto, future opportunities.

Use your meetings to gain knowledge and insight. Find out what can change the game for them, then think about how you can assist.

Listening and discussing new opportunities that may arise from what the other party is saying as in ‘active listening’ shows your interest in them and their message. This strengthens your relationship and the fact that you are thinking in line with their vision is a boost to their ego.

The most important thing in a meeting where the power balance is against you is consolidating the relationship.

Internal meetings when to be silent

It is best to be silent when you know that the objectives and agenda for the meeting can be side-tracked by something you may say. It is particularly important not to mention an issue that you are still working on and you are awaiting feedback on. When side issues are not part of the agenda or the objectives of the meeting, rather than waste the time of all participants keep silent. Your silence will save you and your colleagues valuable time.

Internal meetings when to speak up

Success; when you have something successful to celebrate, when you want to acknowledge team members for excellent work.

When a meeting is taking a nosedive in terms of interest and motivation levels, it’s probably a good idea to inject some life into the team. You don’t want the team leaving the meeting room drained and uninspired. If you are aware of these types of meetings, that are regular boring updates. First question is why you are having them in the first place. If they are necessary or part of company policy, or are part of someone’s KPIs (Key Performance Indicators), then always be prepared to be an active participant, and bring some inspirational news to the meeting, related to the business. Your colleagues will thank you. Time will pass quicker and you may even have sparked some ideas.

Final Thoughts:

Know when to speak and when to be silent based on your power balance or leverage. Like the song ‘The Gambler’ Kenny Rogers sings ‘ You’ve got to know when to hold ‘em, know when to fold ‘em, know when to walk away, know when to run.’ The same is true in meetings, be aware of the scenario, and act accordingly.

Internal meetings are slightly different but there are also times to speak and times to be silent.

Thank you for reading.