Setting Boundaries for a Happier Life

In simple terms, a relationship without any boundaries is like a time bomb that is waiting to explode. The absence of borders is one of the greatest complications in any relation existing regardless of its nature. Borders allow for the peaceful existence of people. However, if you do not draw the line clearly, you are more likely than not dooming the relationship. What is in fact, a boundary? A boundary by its very definition is something that decides what is right in a relationship and what is not. Trouble is inevitable in a relationship in which the parties indulge in every activity without establishing boundaries.

Claims have often been made that of all beings who walk the earth, a benevolent person would come out best, but one of the gravest ramifications attached to being a benevolent person is that one may easily be abused. That is what happens when the balance is tipped. They say that a kindly heart is tender, so is a mat who adores kind people and welcomes kindly but among some individuals, tends to cruelty. In this case, a woman’s compassion is a hangout for a foreseeing other person. Many ways of how an individual diagnosed with narcissistic personality disorder acts predatory over other individuals includes making encroachments into their bound.

How do you figure out whether a boundary has been broken or even just crossed? First off, from the perspective of the specific situation, where do you position yourself as far as your behaviors with other individuals in a romantic engagement go? Is there a constant worry with you about maintaining the people surrounding you’s pleasure or comfort even if it means suffering a loss in personal satisfaction? If this is so, then clearly, there are problems with boundaries. The best way to start confronting this issue is by looking at oneself in the mirror and announcing that this does not include managing other people’s feelings.

No such task is possible. After all, we are human beings and no matter how much we want to please our society and ward off the reality of the situation for as long as possible by keeping everyone оn their toes, it will only worsen the moment the reality comes crashing down. Leave innocence at the entrance. Well, much easier to speak than to practice.

In that case, I want to address those situations when one has to set limits, but does not do so due to the pure dread of how the other person will react. Naturally someone shields oneself with the expectation that the other party will express some harsh negative feelings and consider such a mute the ‘bad’ person and more complacently the sheltering individual, instead. There are times when it must be stated that if an individual is such that they cannot accept a person after boundaries are set then such a risk is hardly warranted under any circumstances.

This brings me to another point. The boundary setting involves perhaps the most difficult aspect about boundaries - the other person. One such situation is when one needs to set boundaries with a friend or family member. More often than not, this member of your family or dearest friend will make you think that it is inhumane to put any boundaries on them, as they occupy a special place in your life. There is no statement that is more untrue than this.

This is not surrendering and consequently, saying ‘no’ or even mocking you is is not beyond reach. If anything, as a family, you should be. More loving, more comprehending and more tolerant of the limits that I am trying to impose on that conduct. Creating healthy boundaries entails maintaining one’s self in the context of relationships and achieving individual well being. Don't let anyone include yourself make you feel guilty for drawing healthy boundaries in your life. It's an essential part of living a healthy existence.